Submission and domination

So I started out as an FA, and plumped up my wife years ago. And I remember the feeling of nervousness and excitement when I first told her about this.

Then years later, I started to gain weight myself and get interested in that, and again it was the same feeling of flutteriness when I finally told her about it. This hasn't faded either, whenever she makes a comment about my size or pats my belly, I tell her how genuinely happy I am about it and I still get that feeling.

Now I think I'm piecing together the next phase of my evolution. Sometimes she will comment that I am lounging in a submissive way, and I get a little thrill at that. Then I just had a dream where she became my boss and I was getting dumber and fatter, while she gets skinnier and more intelligent. This concept makes me feel incredibly good, even way more than about just gaining weight. I want her to put me on the recliner, keep me fed and growing, and watching mindless TV while she goes off and does things like exercising or socializing or working a challenging job. I am at that stage with this desire where I am afraid to tell her about it (not that I want it to be my life, just that it's something that turns me on in a fantasy sense). The idea of telling her that I want to be submissive to her is exhilarating. She is always so supportive and says I'm being silly by holding back, that I should just tell her these type of things because she's my wife and she wants to indulge me and make me happy. But I'm still nervous about it.

Anyways, I wanted to share here mainly just to get it out of my head and into the world, this has been on my mind for a while.

I identify as submissive. I had no idea that's what I was. It's been a process of discovery and it's been very empowering. Dominance and Submission in the world of "kink" turned out to be very different than I had imagined. I was surprised that submission is anything but passive or dependent. Although those are interesting too in their own way. I learned an awful lot by reading and posting on the forums at fetlife.com there is a very active community there and it's worth checking out. Don't worry, there's some "scary" stuff on there too, but you don't have to go to those forums on fetlife if you don't want to. Also, people there take their reputations seriously and I've met some very nice and very helpful people. For caregivers and those who love to be cared for, check out CGL, MDLB, DDLG etc.