Lifestyle tips

How do you handle having a partner that hates your fetish?

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The Ultimate 1992   United Kingdom
Joined 3 years
CheeseBagel:
I love my boyfriend, but he hates my fetish. I have a hard time enjoying the stuff that he is into as well. I've been gaining on my own but I think it might upset him. Does anyone else have a similar experience?


I've been in a relationship with a man for 5 years now and we are both big.

He is 16 stone and I am 18 stone and he loves my big butt and jiggling tummy.

He always tells me I have a nice body and gives me sex most days xxx

This is what you deserve too have and by hating your fetish he's hating part of you
3 years

How do you handle having a partner that hates your fetish?

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CocoCrazy   United States
Joined 11 years
CheeseBagel:
Things with my boyfriend ended up not working out. It was more than just him not liking my fetish. It was because he thought it was repulsive and evil. We were toxic to each other emotionally as well in all aspects of our relationship. I feel badly for hurting him but relieved it is over. I look forward to expressing my sexuality in an honest way in the future and I am going to try to grow from my mistakes. I am thankful for all the responses.


It’s one thing for your partner to not share your preferences/fetishes, and another for them to be repulsed. “Evil” also reeks of judgement. You should feel comfortable sharing your whole self in any relationship.

Having said that, it sounds like these were ongoing issues you were having, and not just some snap reaction he had when you initially shared your fetish. For others reading here, if your partner has a dramatic reaction to you sharing your preferences, give them a chance to mellow out after the fact before making serious relationship decisions.
3 years

How do you handle having a partner that hates your fetish?

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Neonlemonforce   United States
Joined 6 years
Me and my fiancée are in a criss crossed situation. She has gotten fat and wants to lose but she knows I do like her gaining. I haven't gained as much as her but I want to be fatter and she isn't a fan of me getting too fat.

It's tough exactly on how this will play out over time. She isn't telling me to start losing weight yet, but she told me she doesn't want me to to have a big belly. She seems to be worrying more about her weight mostly though currently. So I'm concerned if or when she loses the weight that she will start expecting me to go back to being skinny like her.

I care about her happiness so I am supportive about her weight loss, but for me I am happier getting bigger. I will probably gain another 30lbs and see if it bothers her. If not I'll try to make that my set weight.
3 years

How do you handle having a partner that hates your fetish?

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Murpmitr   United States
Joined 8 years
neonlemonforce:
Me and my fiancée are in a criss crossed situation. She has gotten fat and wants to lose but she knows I do like her gaining. I haven't gained as much as her but I want to be fatter and she isn't a fan of me getting too fat.

It's tough exactly on how this will play out over time. She isn't telling me to start losing weight yet, but she told me she doesn't want me to to have a big belly. She seems to be worrying more about her weight mostly though currently. So I'm concerned if or when she loses the weight that she will start expecting me to go back to being skinny like her.

I care about her happiness so I am supportive about her weight loss, but for me I am happier getting bigger. I will probably gain another 30lbs and see if it bothers her. If not I'll try to make that my set weight.


Your situation sounds almost exactly like mine. My wife and I both put on some pandemic pounds (about 30-40 lbs each). I love it, she hates it and is not into this stuff at all. I wouldn't mind continuing the gain for a little but I'm worried she's not gonna like my body. She knows I love her body the way it is, but has started hittin the gym again for her own happiness.

I would never ask her to gain for me against her own wishes, but i have the same "what the hell do i do" feelings about everything. Hope it all works out well for the both of us
3 years