Lifestyle tips

Hi, everyone!
I have a problem with this fetish because I would like to put it into practice in my sexual life with my boyfriend, (anyway he doesn´t know that I´m interested in feederism) but he has some medical problems, so he can´t gain so much weight. Someone suggested me gain weight but for my bad luck I have anorexia, and these days I was throwing up when I´m alone, so actually, it's pretty stupid to have this fetish and this disorder.
Has someone any advice on this situation?
Thank you so much and sorry for my bad English haha.

Aah... As someone with an ED history. I started as seducing my partner to gain =I bought all their foods and they ate willingly.
Anyhow they stopped and I didnt feel that bad after all. I started gaining myself, thats also when I let go of my ED restrictions. It was a total change. Nothing was forbidden.

Well that wasnt my thing either. Nowadays we just stuff somedays and thats enough for me. Even a stuffing if talking, thoughts are involved can be quite satisfying.