Fat experiences

For some people feedism is a fun addition to the bedroom. For others, it's hard wired to their sexuality. If that is the case with you, it is probably as unlikely that you could stop being a feedist as it is that someone could stop being gay.

I tried for my entire life to repress it and was ultimately unsuccessful. My attempts to repress it were incredibly damaging to my mental health and destroyed otherwise happy, healthy relationships. I finally caved and gained 50 pounds in 6 months. I am also, for the first time in my adult life, not depressed. I don't credit finally giving in as being the only reason my depression is gone, medication, therapy, and some other life circumstances have contributed, but there was a noticable positive change in my mood within the first few weeks of gaining that has kept on even though I stopped gaining a few months ago now.

So, you probably won't ever make it go away and you will probably have to learn how to express it in a way that works for you and any potential partners in the future.

Best of luck to you

I kinda suspect if you're asking here, you kinda know what answer you want to hear. Which I think is important to think about, as at the end of the day gaining, helping someone else gain or being just fat is kinda a personal choice? If that's what you want, well, why not do it?

It's like I've been mentally bouncing between gaining/feeder or not, and realising I was trans made me realise part of my enjoyment of the scene was genuinely linked to my own dysphoria. That said, I find myself back to wanting to gain and/or help someone else gain, sooo, while it was a part of my own transness it seems independent enough that I'm getting back into it. Which, for me, no reason not to do it, haha.

I think it is down to kinda assessing why you want to do it and why you want to curb the desires, but like milkshake said: To at least some degree it seems pretty hardcoded.

Yeah, get covid (this is a joke, obviously)

It all depends on yourself as stated "trying to suppress the urge will only make it worser"

The more you fight it the worse it gets.
All things balanced and sometimes giving in seems like a nice way to go.

As someone who is both queer and a feedist, I strongly disagree with feedism being "hardwired into your sexuality" because that is just... not how that works.

A kink is what feedism is for me. It's a lot of fun and I will generally always enjoy it and it's even my favorite! But it's not required for me for gratification.

A fetish means that it's *required* for sexual gratification. For many people, feedism is a fetish.

However, by saying it's "hardwired like sexual orientation" this is rather homophobic because it implies that something is "wrong" with not being straight and that's not hte case, and it also boils queerness simply down to sexual kink and fetishes which it's not. Being not-straight isn't a "lifestyle"—orientation is about a LOT more than sex, a lot more. Feedism always boils down to something involving sexual gratification and food.

Now, however, there are people who cannot stop themselves outside of sexual gratification and that's neither a kink or a fetish, that's something else and it requires a trained professional to assess. BUT I do think that people who are curious about it put way too much pressure on themselves—if you want to try gaining, try it. If you want to try feeding, try it (with a consenting party). You can revoke consent. you can change your mind. you can try other things. You don't have to go all in (and quite frankly you shouldn't, that's just my opinion).

You can try to curb it, but eventually you'll realise it's a matter of doing it or getting old and wandering if you should have let yourself do it. The unavoidable result of not letting yourself be someone you want to be is regret and frustration. You can always lose the weight if being fat doesn't end up being what you wanted, and if health is what worries you, remember it's always better to be fat now than when you're older. 10 years ago I had the perfect chance to become fat and I didn't do it. Now I'm making myself obese and nothing's stopping me. Maybe I'll lose it later in life if needed, but I really hope to stay obese for the rest of my days.

I've come to realise that whilst I can appreciate the beauty of certain women, I don't really get sexually aroused unless the girl has a bit of a belly, and if I hear that she's lost a whole bunch of weight recently as well that really kills the sexual attraction. Stuffing and gaining are hot but I can live without them.

You'd think that just looking to date a girl who's got a belly wouldn't be that difficult but it's really resticting because at least where I live girls are all either thin/muscular or way overweight, there are very few chubby girls and not with the pot belly look.

I used to think it was just a kink but I think it's more of a preference, the same way some guys would only date super thin girls.

I had to suppress my feedism desires for twenty-five years while serving in the military reserves. My outlet was padding, wearing tight clothes, tight briefs (I still wear tight briefs) and occasional mini binge. It also helped that my wife is a BBW weighing over two hundred pounds now, though slimmer in previous years. I have retired from the reserves and I'm now a casual gainer (thirty pounds in six years). I now have a forty-eight-inch waist and a pronounced bubble butt. I love it! My wife has not mentioned my gain to me, even though I make no effort to hide my increasing girth, in fact I make every effort to show it (my gain) off.

On the issue of "hard wired" I believe that I'm hard wired toward obesity in both myself and my partner. During sex long ago, I could only perform by imagining myself and my partner becoming morbidly obese.

Firstly - probably best to let them answer instead of you guessing

secondly, you are choosing to misunderstand the point I clearly indicated. Comparing a kink to sexual orientation diminishes and demonizes the orientation part, it makes it sound as though not-straightness is sexually deviant when it's not. That is, literally, homophobic, regardless of intention. It, as I said, implies that there is something "abnormal" about not being straight when there's not. It's completely normal.

Also, interestingly enough, we know that kinks aren't "hardwired" into us the way orientation is, and even then we know that orientation is more fluid that not, in a very broad sense. Kinks are just things our brains latch onto that inspire us to want to have sexual fun, they don't really have any meaning or morality, so intertwining them with something as complex as sexual oriention is damaging to both concepts. We can tell because a lot of us know that our tastes and kink desires do in fact shift over time, whether that's because of media we consume or situations we are exposed to, or whatever. It's a lot less hardwired than orientation, by a long shot, even if the foundation is there.

Oh spare me. I wasn't implying intent. I was literally explaining that "this can be harmful language and maybe we should try to find another"

the fact that you are taking it personally and choosing to not listen is your problem. You think "this doesn't bother me, a queer person, so you are also not allowed to be bothered by it" is not how that works. just because you do not understand my point doesn't mean mine is moot. I am genuinely trying to have a conversation here and explain why these two things are not alike and why it is harmful to both concepts. I am trying to actually *help* others understand that conflating these two things is a bad idea.

Attraction to "A fat body" is not an orientation. That is my point. You stated it yourself. Orientation is about full relational models between *people* not bodies. If the *person* does not matter to you—then the fat is simply a sexual object; not an orietnation. Conflating the two is. in fact. homophobic. The word you are looking for is "paraphilia"