Milhause:
Sorry if this isn’t the right forum but I’m looking for some advice.
Told my wife six months ago about this fetish and my feeder kink. I stressed to her I had no expectations for her, just that I wanted to be open about it.
She’s been overweight most of her life. (Technically obese by BMI, but fuck that garbage stat.)
At any rate, she was glad I told her but she didn’t seem at all interested in participating in the fetish. It’s fine, I love her no matter what regardless.
What I struggle with is two things: When we eat meals together, I often don’t finish all of mine. I eat like a bird anyway, but I can tell she has moments where she feels self-conscious that she ate her entire plate and I didn’t. I’ve told her repeatedly to never ever feel ashamed to go back for seconds or eat whatever she wants around me, but I still can tell she thinks about it.
Secondarily, I don’t know how open I can be about it around her. The other night we went out to dinner and she really went for it. She kept talking about how full she was and how “you’ll have to roll me out of here if I keep going.”
Needless to say I was instantly turned on but instead of being like “well obviously I’d like that,” I just froze.
I thought telling her about this fetish would alleviate some stress, but I find it’s created whole new ones. I still don’t know what the line is. I want to be open about what I like but I don’t want that to come at the expense of her emotional health.
As a buff person with a fat feedee, I always found the term "mixed weight" to be weird. Weigh isn't an immutable characteristic, but that's just me.
Anyway, I'm glad you and your wife talked about your kinks. This is good, but you aren't done. Y'all need to keep talking. Be open and honest with each other. Say what's on your mind. Check in. See how the other's doing. Stuff like that.
Even if she never participates in the fetish, y'all are still married. Communication is key. It looks like she's trying, but she's also scared. Take the first step so she can be brave enough to take the second.
