So much to unpack here. I’m going to have to remix the posts, esp. since FF has no multiquote functionality.
Ethical discussions along these lines have been a significant part of the fatosphere since i first got involved, early-mid 1990s. Opinions vary, and most but not all are well-reasoned.
Let’s start here:
Biglunch:
You can’t control what you like, but you can refrain from encouraging people to die for you to get your rocks off.
Absolutely, and here’s the key point:
It’s all about the person carrying the fat,
not the/any admirer(s) or potential admirers. Bodily autonomy, plain and simple. If the person whose body creates and maintains the fat is fully informed and retains agency over their body, and takes responsibility for maintaining themselves by any combination of direct action and/or non-coercive delegation, it is no one else’s business.
Death Feedism is a thing. Not mine, but real people seem to genuinely be into it. If this is what the feedee who is maintaining all that body fat wants, who is anyone else to judge? What if that person wants a feeder who’s into helping feed them where they want to go?
Back in the 1990s i heard of something similar which came up in our community, but was a different kink or lifestyle that did not necessarily depend on fatness: snuff. I only heard the term and never researched it. From what i was told at the time, it had something to do with sexually getting off on death or someone dying. These decades later i’m still amazed that it is or was common enough to have a term applied to it. Never have understood it. Parallels were drawn between it and extreme fattening, esp. feedism related.
Biglunch:
Is it just me, or should we not be encouraging people who are 700 pounds to get to 900 pounds if it’s actively killing them?
Sweeping generalizations do not a rule make. Do we even know that weighing 900 pounds needs to be a death sentence, or require poor health? We know that most fat people of any degree of fatness tend to get shit medical “care” in most societies—certainly in the U.S., and ongoing mountains of societal hate. Stress, mood, and physiology interact, and can have deleterious effects—i’ve lived this personally, and continue to do so.
I dispute that the specific numbers cited or any similar numbers assure “active[…] killing”.
Biglunch:
And there is a certain point where there is no round curvy figure anymore… it’s just lard that pools around the person like a giant puddle completely removing any recognizable human corporeal visage.
Now we’re in the realm of personal taste, and judging others. Totally good that that’s not what you’re into, and that you’re sharing what you like. Totally not good that you’re implying that others should necessarily share your tastes. Advocate, promote, encourage—great. But be clear on what is your preference and not a universal standard.
LuvsChub04:
for me yes.. id never encourage someone to be imobile, theres no quality of life there. like on my 600 pound life, those people have no life, id never say hey your 550 pounds cant walk to the mail box, go eat another cake just doesn't seem right...
1) Your numbers are far from universal. I’ve met and hugged people (mostly women) in the mid-500s who have enough mobility for their purposes. I know people in the 200s of pounds who are immobile or close, and can’t walk to the mailbox.
I was totally immobile in 2003 for close to 3 months, around 6' tall and 155 pounds—not from fatness. There are all sorts of reasons people can be immobile/have limited mobility/have substandard qualities of life.
2) I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to get to know one immobile (mostly from fatness) woman in our community (but not on FF) very well. She’s well below the arbitrary 500 or 550 or whatever pound mark. tl;dr: it’s nuanced.
3) I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to meet IRL someone in our community who’s a feedee who loves being fat
so much that she’s been willing to take things to where the OP and others so far in this thread consider extreme. She’s living her life on her terms—who are we to judge?
4) Some people
want to be encouraged to immobility… or at least make that claim (i’ve not personally interacted with them enough to establish veracity). If they have full agency, why can’t they pursue what they want? Why would it be bad for an encourager in that context to encourage them?