Fat experiences

I've done some research online trying to figure out the link between mental heath, mainly depression with over eating and weight gain. The general consensus is comfort food targets the pleasure part of the brain and makes you feel good, etc. .... but is there also another reason? I've recently gone through a difficult time and was diagnosed with depression. I was always up and down with my weight a few pounds but never anything drastic, and I've always been average weight for my height and age. Lately, I've turned to food not as a comfort but as an escape and that by gaining weight, im changing who I am not just mentally but physically and therefore escaping old me and my old life. Ivl started drastically over eating up to ten thousand calories a day and have drastically gained weight in a very short time, and ive no intention stopping because the change is making me feel better about myself for the first time in a long time. Does anyone else feel like this?

I am also going through a hard time in my life and thanks to that it started to realize that maybe I want to gain weight, be loved and accepted. I do not know yet if he wants it 100%, because I have many concerns about it, but enough about me.

I think if you like your new self and you are 100% sure you want it to stay that way, keep going. In fact, the most important thing in life is your own happiness

Edit: And one more thing. If you want to talk, I am very happy to do so.

I have noticed that many of the largest women I have been with can connect their weight gain to some sort of traumatic experience. If you look at the tv show 600lb life they will tell about their background and it is usually attached to abuse, assault or a traumatic experience.. Its definitely phenomenon worth researching. Or maybe there isn`t a correlation.

I dealt with binge eating from a very young age (started around 12) due to intense trauma, but it made me feel awful about myself, not better. It was simply the only thing about my life that I could control and that brought me consistent and reliable pleasure; food. Still deal with disordered eating issues on and off as an adult and only now at 35 do I think I'm finally getting a handle on it.

I actually wrote about it more recently at length if you want to take a look
loradayton.com/2022/11/18/i-have-something-to-confess/