General

Hi guys! I’m an FA/feeder and I very much care about my partners feelings. If he wants to lose or gain weight it’s up to him, I like anyway. Have any feedees/FAs had any bad experiences? How do other feeders feel about it?
I feel like many feeders force their partners into situations they are not comfortable in.

Hm. As an FA/feeder, I do prioritize my partner's wellbeing an comfort above all else. However, I would like to think I am not unique in this regard.

Of course, I am not so silly to say there aren't toxic/abusive FAs/feeders out there. I've even interacted with some personally, and I'm not even a gainer or a feedee. Heck, I'm not even fat or chubby.

At least you are honest.

Yes

This topic doesn't read like a personals ad, so moving this to General.

To answer the question, yes of course. Pretty sure most others do too.

Yes, absolutely.

Well, I'll answer this as someone who has been through being a feeder. I'll also suggest the best way, in my opinion, that this can be done, since i like pretty extreme stuff myself as a feedee
(so yeah, i know how both POVs might feel)
As a feeder i whould definitely try to make my feedee happy. I whould not do something in my feedee without communicating it and her agreeing on it. That's not that i whouldnt push her even if she was uncomfortably full, but only if, she accepts, preferably if she *specifically* enjoys it. That's only during feeding tho, that's really important because we may had lives outside of kink, where things whould be very 1 to 1. In other words, my feedee whould also be my girlfriend. I'd also whouldnt accept doing certain things to her, even if she was okay. For example i whould never damage her. I whouldnt hit her or something like that, even in bdsm terms, because I whould not be capable of doing that, emotionally speaking. Theoretically speaking I'd also not do anything that she'd only accept to make me happy. Altho in real life, i dont know how i whould differentiate if she's honest with it or not.
As a feedee things are much different tho! (munchies might know! , also congrats for 1k forum posts)

I don't think I'd like anything other than fantasy, that's for many reasons including ideological ones, but fantastically speaking, a realistic scenario is that i whould be under the care of a dom feeder lady who whould, in fact, care for my feelings, but since im really extreme asba feedee, she whould do bad things to me. As long as I'd enjoy. But that's it. She could condition me to like anything (feederism related) and as long as i didn't feel uncomfortable at anytime, that whould be fine! She whould still care for me as a person, but i whould definitely like it if she forces me to get fat. In other words, what whould happen is something I'd like. But she whould do it to me in her own terms.

*Edited part because i forgot*
Okay so i actually do have a negative experience. I was talking with an other Greek feeder lady, for momths, and she was actively encouraging me, a bit forcefully too, to gain for her, to wich initially i was happy to do! (i must also say i was pretty immature, worse than now for sure) i felt really good, then really bad, and asked to stop, she was fine with that. I restarted again a week later. The same thing happened 3 times. At some point we even started planning an irl visit. She wqs also way older than me, but i was fine with that too. I was slowly realizing that i didn't like the situation as a whole. I didn't know what was bothering me exactly so i couldn't figure that i wanted to stop either.
As a feeder she did allow me the space i needed. That's very good from her part. So at some point i realized i was excited (okay fine... horny) all the time to the point i couldn't function as a person. Part of me apsolutely liked it! An other part of me hated it! Things ended up badly, i think entirely to my fault. I didn't knew what i want. She ended things with me about a year ago. So that's my negative experience, altho as a person she really cared! Moral of the story, be very carefull when picking your feedee! 🤣
*end of edited part*

So how can you care about your feedee's feelings best, imo?
Clear, and effective communication. Talk about what scenarios are okay, or not and why. Also try to account that the feedee is also a person and what they like might change. Or even that they might feel... horny, during that conversation and migh accept to something they didn't mean to. Or maybe they didn't know they're not gonna like it in the first place!

Also trying to see ahead of what might be uncomfortable, will definitely help to some extend.

And something third, wich is way more philosophical, but i dont think I've read anyone saying it clearly, try to think your role as the following:

You take pleasure by abusing the fact that what you like to do something onto someone that likes you to do it into them!

Is it moral? (i dont even wanna answer here 😂)
Is it wrong? Well, it seems unclear, but if it's with honest and truthfully consent, it's perfectly okay, for you and your feeder
It does have positive and negative effects.
*However*
And that's totally my, smart-ass, that nobody is going to like, opinion, but actually practicing this, is going to have effects outside you and your feedee. Effects that you might not care at all about. But that doesn't mean they're not gonna be there.
I shouldn't analyze my ideological stuff here, but if anyone is curious, please... Please! Feel apsolutely free to ask me personally! I'd love to provide food for thought!

Anyways thanks if you read it all, i hope i delivered my points clearly!

They should. Feedees are people too, as much as sadly some people out there don't think of that at times. It really should be obvious, but that's just the mindsets of some people in general when it comes down someone who provides them a sexual pleasure.

As a feedee / gainer my experience is.. both.
Some care, some don’t.

This is a good question. But what I can say from my personal experience is yes, it does matter to me.

As much as I like the sexual tension of worshiping one’s belly. I still want to have a trusting relationship with that person. As well as the communication of when to stop and the encouragement to keep going.

It’s also why I prefer to be close friends or better a lover. As much as this is a fetish and a business in a way, we are all people in the end of the day.