Honestly, take a lot of what they say with a grain of salt. Of course people who truly are just comfortable as they are exist in public and are also members here, but many aren't even if they say they do. There's nothing wrong with either of them.
The key is to work on your internalized fatphobia and insecurities that get intertwined with it. Our culture is *HORRIBLE* to fat people (and quite frankly many fetishists are also). The fact that you don't feel as confident as others in public is a reflection of that, not of you.
Even the concept of being "confident" in ones body, as a fat person, is fatphobic (we certainly don't often describe thin people that way, do we? or someone with a new haircut? not with the same meaning, at least!).
"Acceptance" is a better word and a more attainable goal - permission to just exist as a fat person. That your body is just what it is and there's nothing wrong with yours or anyone else's.
When you accept that you have permission to just exist as you are, and are able to give yourself that love and space because you *know* you deserve it, that natural, non-kinky, non-fatphobia-centric confidence will arise naturally.
The best part is that you already have it! It's not something you're missing. It exists in all of us. It just takes a lot of healing and granting ourselves permission regardless of society's approval standards are to access it.
1 year
