Submission and domination

Consensual... abuse?

How do i even call it?
(also trigger warning)
I have this fantasy of being in the hands of a really strong feeder lady, and in it i love the aspect of her, playing around with my weaknesses in order to make / keep me gaining without asking. So that she can make me so fat that i end up being trapped with her.
For example, she can force me to have sex constantly, in ways that will make me incredibly addicted to her f*king me. Then she starts abusing that addiction by making me drink weight gain shakes everytime she's about to ride me, so much that i end up passing out right after sex. I even like the aspect of her low key threatening to beat me if i dont keep eating enough.

I know this is crazy, and i somehow ended up in a place where it turns me on a lot, i just wanted to know how realistic whould this be to play out in real life. (and what whould the safest way be)
1 year

Consensual... abuse?

Enas:
How do i even call it?
(also trigger warning)
I have this fantasy of being in the hands of a really strong feeder lady, and in it i love the aspect of her, playing around with my weaknesses in order to make / keep me gaining without asking. So that she can make me so fat that i end up being trapped with her.
For example, she can force me to have sex constantly, in ways that will make me incredibly addicted to her f*king me. Then she starts abusing that addiction by making me drink weight gain shakes everytime she's about to ride me, so much that i end up passing out right after sex. I even like the aspect of her low key threatening to beat me if i dont keep eating enough.

I know this is crazy, and i somehow ended up in a place where it turns me on a lot, i just wanted to know how realistic whould this be to play out in real life. (and what whould the safest way be)


This is feedism-based BDSM. Looks like you got a mix of sado-masochism, bondage, and consensual non-consent.

All of this is fine so long as you have clear boundaries between play and reality. If you don't, you are going to end up in a place you don't want to be.
1 year

Consensual... abuse?

Enas:
How do i even call it?
(also trigger warning)
I have this fantasy of being in the hands of a really strong feeder lady, and in it i love the aspect of her, playing around with my weaknesses in order to make / keep me gaining without asking. So that she can make me so fat that i end up being trapped with her.
For example, she can force me to have sex constantly, in ways that will make me incredibly addicted to her f*king me. Then she starts abusing that addiction by making me drink weight gain shakes everytime she's about to ride me, so much that i end up passing out right after sex. I even like the aspect of her low key threatening to beat me if i dont keep eating enough.

I know this is crazy, and i somehow ended up in a place where it turns me on a lot, i just wanted to know how realistic whould this be to play out in real life. (and what whould the safest way be)

Munchies:
This is feedism-based BDSM. Looks like you got a mix of sado-masochism, bondage, and consensual non-consent.

All of this is fine so long as you have clear boundaries between play and reality. If you don't, you are going to end up in a place you don't want to be.


How could consensual non-consent work on this? Im really curious
1 year

Consensual... abuse?

Enas:
How do i even call it?
(also trigger warning)
I have this fantasy of being in the hands of a really strong feeder lady, and in it i love the aspect of her, playing around with my weaknesses in order to make / keep me gaining without asking. So that she can make me so fat that i end up being trapped with her.
For example, she can force me to have sex constantly, in ways that will make me incredibly addicted to her f*king me. Then she starts abusing that addiction by making me drink weight gain shakes everytime she's about to ride me, so much that i end up passing out right after sex. I even like the aspect of her low key threatening to beat me if i dont keep eating enough.

I know this is crazy, and i somehow ended up in a place where it turns me on a lot, i just wanted to know how realistic whould this be to play out in real life. (and what whould the safest way be)

Munchies:
This is feedism-based BDSM. Looks like you got a mix of sado-masochism, bondage, and consensual non-consent.

All of this is fine so long as you have clear boundaries between play and reality. If you don't, you are going to end up in a place you don't want to be.

Enas:
How could consensual non-consent work on this? Im really curious


It's a little different for everyone, but there are some general guidelines.

Clearly discuss boundaries beforehand.

Have safe words and/or gestures for when things get too much for you or your partner.

Understand that both parties can revoke consent at any time. Make sure this is respected.

Do not skip the aftercare.
1 year

Consensual... abuse?

Enas:
How do i even call it?
(also trigger warning)
I have this fantasy of being in the hands of a really strong feeder lady, and in it i love the aspect of her, playing around with my weaknesses in order to make / keep me gaining without asking. So that she can make me so fat that i end up being trapped with her.
For example, she can force me to have sex constantly, in ways that will make me incredibly addicted to her f*king me. Then she starts abusing that addiction by making me drink weight gain shakes everytime she's about to ride me, so much that i end up passing out right after sex. I even like the aspect of her low key threatening to beat me if i dont keep eating enough.

I know this is crazy, and i somehow ended up in a place where it turns me on a lot, i just wanted to know how realistic whould this be to play out in real life. (and what whould the safest way be)

Munchies:
This is feedism-based BDSM. Looks like you got a mix of sado-masochism, bondage, and consensual non-consent.

All of this is fine so long as you have clear boundaries between play and reality. If you don't, you are going to end up in a place you don't want to be.

Enas:
How could consensual non-consent work on this? Im really curious

Munchies:
It's a little different for everyone, but there are some general guidelines.

Clearly discuss boundaries beforehand.

Have safe words and/or gestures for when things get too much for you or your partner.

Understand that both parties can revoke consent at any time. Make sure this is respected.

Do not skip the aftercare.


This seems to be oriented per-session. Do you think it whould be the same if it were to be contunious? (24/7, until one of the two wants to break out of it) so that it could have the possibility of going on, indefinetely?
1 year

Consensual... abuse?

Enas:
How do i even call it?
(also trigger warning)
I have this fantasy of being in the hands of a really strong feeder lady, and in it i love the aspect of her, playing around with my weaknesses in order to make / keep me gaining without asking. So that she can make me so fat that i end up being trapped with her.
For example, she can force me to have sex constantly, in ways that will make me incredibly addicted to her f*king me. Then she starts abusing that addiction by making me drink weight gain shakes everytime she's about to ride me, so much that i end up passing out right after sex. I even like the aspect of her low key threatening to beat me if i dont keep eating enough.

I know this is crazy, and i somehow ended up in a place where it turns me on a lot, i just wanted to know how realistic whould this be to play out in real life. (and what whould the safest way be)

Munchies:
This is feedism-based BDSM. Looks like you got a mix of sado-masochism, bondage, and consensual non-consent.

All of this is fine so long as you have clear boundaries between play and reality. If you don't, you are going to end up in a place you don't want to be.

Enas:
How could consensual non-consent work on this? Im really curious

Munchies:
It's a little different for everyone, but there are some general guidelines.

Clearly discuss boundaries beforehand.

Have safe words and/or gestures for when things get too much for you or your partner.

Understand that both parties can revoke consent at any time. Make sure this is respected.

Do not skip the aftercare.

Enas:
This seems to be oriented per-session. Do you think it whould be the same if it were to be contunious? (24/7, until one of the two wants to break out of it) so that it could have the possibility of going on, indefinetely?


Oh, no. Not even a little. That will mess both you and your domme up mentally.

If you're in a relationship with someone you trust enough to do this, it's because they care about you as a person. If they care about it, it will be hard for them to be hard core sadistic 24/7 for an extended time. Even though I am a sadist, I've stopped scenes before because it was too much for me.

If you are the sub in a hardcore consensual non-consent lifestyle, you will forget that this is a kink. One of the most important part of BDSM is aftercare. It strengthens the bond between domme and sub as well as keep the sub mentally sound. If you keep the intensity at 11 indefinitely, you will feel like you are actually in an abusive relationship.

There are some people in the BDSM community that life the 24/7 lifestyle. A lot of them are able to live a fulfilling life doing that. However, not ever flavor of BDSM translates well to lifestyle kink well.
1 year

Consensual... abuse?

Munchies:
Oh, no. Not even a little. That will mess both you and your domme up mentally.

While I agree with many of the points you made, I have to disagree with the overall message, as it sounds discouraging. I've seen a lot of posts on Fetlife of people saying how they made a 24/7 BDSM dynamic work for them. It's true that trying to spend every waking moment in an intense sex scene with no breaks or aftercare is a mental health disaster in the making, but that's NOT what most people mean when they talk about lifestyle BDSM. To make this dynamic work, people have to reorient the way they think about BDSM, domination, and even what constitutes a scene. For example, think about nudist couples. In a way, they have a 24/7 dynamic where they've agreed to follow the rule that they should be undressed whenever possible. For someone who only associates nakedness with sex, they might assume that they'd spend all day in bed, but that's not the case. For them, nudity is just a way of life, and the same can be true for BDSM.

Aftercare is still important, but you don't have to treat it like something that happens after the scene is over (since the entire relationship is basically one big scene). Rather, people have to realize that there are many different ways to be dominant. Some are sadistic and cruel, and others are gentle and nurturing while staying in control. In a 24/7 dynamic, the dom should be capable of switching between all of these modes when appropriate, just as they should know when to punish and when to praise. Every aspect of life, whether it's aftercare or vacuuming the carpet, should be filtered through the lens of dominance. Some couples even do a 24/7 roleplay dynamic such as DDLG, where they never turn off their roles, but normal life still happens regardless. Here are some ideas of incorporating BDSM outside of the bedroom:

*It's easy to turn every mealtime into a feeding session, regardless of the amount of food. Even If you're eating out at a restaurant with friends, you will have to be subtle and discreet about it, but the feeder is still providing food or even ordering for him, so it's still a feeding session in their minds.

*She can give him homework, like giving him a large gainer shake that he has to finish while he's at work.

*If they're watching a movie, she can order him to lay across her lap while she hand-feeds him popcorn. To an outside observer, it might even look like normal cute couple stuff, but he still feels like he's under her control and serving her desires.

*Instead of discussing housework responsibilities like a vanilla couple, she can assign him chores, and use treats as a reward for doing a good job.

*She can tell him to do little demeaning things like kiss her feet when she gets home from work, or she can tell him to fetch her a beer, or maybe have a rule to always ask her permission to use the bathroom. These sorts of things can be sprinkled throughout the day so that he's basically always in subspace. Frequent dirty talk also helps.

*With CNC, the idea is that a session can happen at any moment, for any length of time, and without asking permission, just based on the whims of the dom. It doesn't need to be a big scene, it can be like a short micro-session with a single act, like using his belly as a footrest for a few minutes. For these subs, feeling like they're being used and have no control at all is what gets them going.

*This is basically also an FLR, so she will be responsible for all decision making for both of their lives, whether sexual or otherwise. Kind of like the stereotype of a very controlling 1950's household with the genders reversed. Some doms will even assign tasks that are meant for self-improvement, whether that's telling him to research aspects of their fetish, or ordering him to take an online art class for stress relief, or making him participate in her hobbies.

Of course it goes without saying, but you should only do this with someone you know well and completely trust. It's very important to discuss boundaries ahead of time. You could even write down both of your needs and limits in a "contract" format that you both sign. It's not legally binding of course, but it makes things super clear for everyone while playing into the fantasy that the sub is signing their life away. Some subs even feel strongly about not having a safeword, since they trust their dom completely to keep their wellbeing in mind, and feel like they can speak up when they're uncomfortable, and their dom will respect them enough to listen while still having the final say. I wouldn't recommend this for most people, especially if you haven't lived together as a normal couple for a while first. If either of you aren't open to possibly spending the rest of your lives together, this may not be the lifestyle for you. If not, then you don't have to go to these extremes though, the limits of your agreement are completely up to you
1 year

Consensual... abuse?

Forgot to add this, but Goreans really go the extra mile with eye contact restrictions, certain speech requirements, and even specific body postures when sitting or kneeling. Every moment is micromanaged ahead of time with a rule. It sounds too exhausting to me, but to each their own.

CFNM is also something that some people do, where he is required to be naked while at home, but she wears clothes. Chastity cages and collars are also an option that can be worn all day. This can help visually reinforce your roles.
1 year

Consensual... abuse?

Munchies:
Oh, no. Not even a little. That will mess both you and your domme up mentally.

Malvineous:
While I agree with many of the points you made, I have to disagree with the overall message, as it sounds discouraging.


While all of this information is nice to know, I am not sure where you got this impression from. It only makes sense if you didn't read everything I said. I even explicitly mentioned that many people are happy living a 24/7 type relationship.

What I am talking about is 24/7 sado-masochism. More specifically the domme being hardcore sadistic 24/7 and the masochistic sub (Enas) enjoying that sadism 24/7. After all, this is explicitly what Enas wants.

This, and only this, is not sustainable. Not even in a TPE relationship. Human nature is not meant to be one thing all the time. And it is truly taxing mentally, emotionally, and physically, to live your life in an S&M scene 24/7.
1 year

Consensual... abuse?

Munchies:
While all of this information is nice to know, I am not sure where you got this impression from. It only makes sense if you didn't read everything I said. I even explicitly mentioned that many people are happy living a 24/7 type relationship.

What I am talking about is 24/7 sado-masochism. More specifically the domme being hardcore sadistic 24/7 and the masochistic sub (Enas) enjoying that sadism 24/7. After all, this is explicitly what Enas wants.

This, and only this, is not sustainable. Not even in a TPE relationship. Human nature is not meant to be one thing all the time. And it is truly taxing mentally, emotionally, and physically, to live your life in an S&M scene 24/7.


I did read the whole thread. Personally, I'm not convinced that OP meant what you suggest, since he wasn't clear about that being every aspect of his life, only the sexual dynamic. OP specifically asked how to do this in a safe way as well.

Still, my overall point was that even sadomasochism can be a matter of framing. Perhaps the aftercare is just another sadistic element, since she mixes periods of abuse and gentleness in order to confuse him and make him feel emotionally bonded to her so that it becomes even more difficult for him to break free. People can interpret things in any number of ways, so the only thing that needs to change in order to live out his fantasies within a healthy relationship is his mindset.
1 year
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