Dating/Friendships

Going forward?

I'm happy to see such good advice from those who already gave you replies!

I have always found bigger women very very beautiful but it is also very important that they feel happy and proud and enjoy themselves. If someone doesn't feel comfortable in a larger body, then it's better to find ways to lose some weight - or find the reasons that they don't like their body. It might be everything from actual health, physical problems, others having problems with it, to low self esteem and many other things. Every of these things give their own challenges and need different solutions.

It might actually be good to talk to a therapist. I'm a teacher and listen to lots of heavy stuff from students but I'm not a therapist and you might need some professional advice for how to deal with things.

A family that is verging on verbal abuse might in the end be worth cutting contact with, or at least it might be possible to set up some very strict rules for what can be said and commented on to you.

Getting fat isn't for everyone and neither is getting slim. If at first you've gained weight, your body will cling like mad to the pounds and it'll be a struggle to stay thin for the rest of your life. That's not said to discourage you! It simply means that there are ways to prevent further gaining but they are complex as already mentioned.

Some of the reason for your current weight is stress of all kinds. Both work, your mom, your own self esteem, many things. Another thing is that you also KINDA like just eating what you want so it makes it harder. You want to lose weight but you're not super motivated to lose the lifestyle, which is understandable. You have a comfier lifestyle and therefore also a comfier body now 😊

The point is... Don't just settle and "live with it"... You deserve better! Sort out exactly what you like and don't like. Write them down so you have them in front of you.

List all your worries and fears regarding your weight/body/family/relationship from worst to least bad. Look at them one at a time and see what can be done about them.

If, for example, you realize that you just hate being fat because YOU don't like it, then it'll be good to start working on strategies for losing some weight. On the other hand If you realize that your problems are mainly because OTHERS have a problem with your weight, cut contact with the idiots and get some more tolerant friends. And family is who you can family. You don't need blood ties to cal people family.
Your actual situation is in between but still you have to dissect the situation to bits and look at them to see what can be done.

I wish you all the best and hope things will get better for you. If you want to talk more, please just drop by and send me a message or reply here 😊
11 months