Gaining

Social stigma and friends

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AskDrFeeder   United States
Joined 15 years
One of the downsides of getting fat is the social stigma.

I've always thought the best way to deal with that is to make fat friends, and possibly to dump thin friends.

Has anyone done this?

Has it helped?

Is it easier to make fat friends than thin ones?
10 months

Social stigma and friends

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Miachu   United Kingdom
Joined 3 years
I wouldn't say I'd ever dump my thin friends, as that would just make me a big jerk haha

But as I've gotten fat, My friends have honestly not really cared much about my weight gain. Probably because I'm not the only one in my friend group who's put on weight lmao
10 months

Social stigma and friends

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AskDrFeeder   United States
Joined 15 years
Miachu:
But as I've gotten fat, My friends have honestly not really cared much about my weight gain. Probably because I'm not the only one in my friend group who's put on weight lmao


Ha! Well, I guess your friends' getting fat has the same effect as getting fatter friends, so I'll take this as confirmation. smiley
10 months

Social stigma and friends

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
AskDrFeeder:
One of the downsides of getting fat is the social stigma.

I've always thought the best way to deal with that is to make fat friends, and possibly to dump thin friends.

Has anyone done this?

Has it helped?

Is it easier to make fat friends than thin ones?


Why would you dump a friend because they aren't your preferred size? That's a shit way to be a friend. What are you going to do if one of your fat friends gets thin? Dump them?

That's a good way to be shitty and friendless.

Besides, a real friend will stay by your side through thick and thin. I've got a good mix of friends of all sized and body types. Fat, chubby, slim, muscular, etc. We clicked due to compatible personalities and interests. You know ... like normal people.
10 months

Social stigma and friends

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
AskDrFeeder:
One of the downsides of getting fat is the social stigma.

I've always thought the best way to deal with that is to make fat friends, and possibly to dump thin friends.

Has anyone done this?

Has it helped?

Is it easier to make fat friends than thin ones?

Munchies:
Why would you dump a friend because they aren't your preferred size? That's a shit way to be a friend. What are you going to do if one of your fat friends gets thin? Dump them?

That's a good way to be shitty and friendless.

Besides, a real friend will stay by your side through thick and thin. I've got a good mix of friends of all sized and body types. Fat, chubby, slim, muscular, etc. We clicked due to compatible personalities and interests. You know ... like normal people.

ForeverFFA:
People of all weights can be catty and shallow. It's about personality, not size. Not all thin people are thin because they are obsessed with appearances either.


10 months

Social stigma and friends

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AskDrFeeder   United States
Joined 15 years
I'm not saying you should dump all your thin friends, just the fat-shaming ones.
10 months

Social stigma and friends

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
AskDrFeeder:
I'm not saying you should dump all your thin friends, just the fat-shaming ones.


Then just?? Say that???

Also, fat shaming knows no size. There are fat people with internalized fat phobia that will turn around at fat shame you. And half the time, they are bigger than you've ever been.

Once more, a real friend - big or small - will not disrespect you.
10 months

Social stigma and friends

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AskDrFeeder   United States
Joined 15 years
AskDrFeeder:
I'm not saying you should dump all your thin friends, just the fat-shaming ones.

Munchies:
Then just?? Say that???


Okay, I just did!

Also, fat shaming knows no size. There are fat people with internalized fat phobia that will turn around at fat shame you. And half the time, they are bigger than you've ever been.

Once more, a real friend - big or small - will not disrespect you.


Quite true. Someone's size is not the only determination of who would make a good friend. I just think if you're fat or gaining there are some natural advantages in having fat friends. They're easier to keep up with on hikes. They're more prone to eat the same kinds of things and the same quantities, making them more fun to hang out with.

But again, it's not the only factor. A thin person with feeder tendencies could be an incredible friend.
10 months

Social stigma and friends

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AskDrFeeder   United States
Joined 15 years
RegularGhost15:
I don't see any benefit in picking friends based on size. Your hiking example doesn't even stand up to scrutiny because thinness doesn't equate to fitness. I weigh more than I have in my entire life and I can run faster and further than I ever have 🤷

Anyway, the deciding factor on who was "easier" to make friends with for me has always been determined by their level of maturity/insecurity. Body weight has never been the ultimate deciding factor on our compatibility.

What's wrong with just making friends with similar interests like normal people?


Again, I never said it should be the only basis for a friendship. I don't appreciate this straw-man stuff.
10 months

Social stigma and friends

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Bigdoug   United States
Joined 1 year
I don’t consider people who stigmatize or stereotype me based on my weight (or anything else) friends. Most people (myself included) pick friends based on compatible interests, personality and things like that. With that said, being middle aged has resulted in more of my friends becoming fat. Some of my formerly slim friends have increased their girth considerably over the years and not all of them have accepted theses changes “gracefully”. Those are the ones I have grown distant from, mostly because I don’t enjoy people who are constantly battling themselves and have gotten crabby because of it.
10 months
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