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What should i be prepared for, when dating a extremely obese woman?

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Curiousv   Romania
Joined 15 years
As a guy who prefers "moderately large" ladies the most (by FA standards at least), in the range of 200-300 pounds, I still can find very thin and much larger women attractive, as style and personality matters me more than just raw weight. However, my dating experience is only with thin, or with at most about 300 pounds girls.

Lately I've been fascinated with the thought of dating a woman who is much larger than the size range I've been used to, even 500 lbs or more. I've never met someone this big in real life, there aren't really many 300+ lbs in my area, but from online photos and videos I learned that it is possible for me to find even a woman above 500 lbs super attractive.

However, due to my lack of experience with sizes this big, I'm interested in some advice. How should I prepare, what should I look out for, if it so happens that I find someone in the 450-500 lbs or higher category, so I don't cause embarrassment for myself or for her? The more obscure and unexpected the advice, the better. I'm not a complete idiot, so of course I know not to invite her to a difficult hike, or to any activity which would be tiring for her or too difficult for her to navigate. So I'm looking for advice from those who are of that size or have dated someone of that size, and know what people inexperienced with such sizes don't expect.
6 months

What should i be prepared for, when dating a extremely obese woman?

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Letters And Numbers   United States
Joined 1 year
administrator
Curiousv:
As a guy who prefers "moderately large" ladies the most (by FA standards at least), in the range of 200-300 pounds, I still can find very thin and much larger women attractive, as style and personality matters me more than just raw weight. However, my dating experience is only with thin, or with at most about 300 pounds girls.

Lately I've been fascinated with the thought of dating a woman who is much larger than the size range I've been used to, even 500 lbs or more. I've never met someone this big in real life, there aren't really many 300+ lbs in my area, but from online photos and videos I learned that it is possible for me to find even a woman above 500 lbs super attractive.

However, due to my lack of experience with sizes this big, I'm interested in some advice. How should I prepare, what should I look out for, if it so happens that I find someone in the 450-500 lbs or higher category, so I don't cause embarrassment for myself or for her? The more obscure and unexpected the advice, the better. I'm not a complete idiot, so of course I know not to invite her to a difficult hike, or to any activity which would be tiring for her or too difficult for her to navigate. So I'm looking for advice from those who are of that size or have dated someone of that size, and know what people inexperienced with such sizes don't expect.


I think you’re going to get a bunch of responses which are different variations on “talk to and especially *listen to* the person you’re dating”. I can’t imagine there’s much more to say, but if there is, please be respectful on both sides.
6 months

What should i be prepared for, when dating a extremely obese woman?

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Curiousv   Romania
Joined 15 years

Letters And Numbers:
I think you’re going to get a bunch of responses which are different variations on “talk to and especially *listen to* the person you’re dating”. I can’t imagine there’s much more to say, but if there is, please be respectful on both sides.


Yeah, I know, that's also in the obvious category. However, in many cases very obese women don't really want to talk about their weight (not everyone is a fetishist, and even if so, not everyone is open or bold), especially in the beginning, so asking her too direct questions at the beginning might not be the best, and she might not say anything about how to accommodate her, right at the beginning.

What I'm most looking for in the answers from people with experience, is something like "I know this, but I wish I had known this sooner".
6 months

What should i be prepared for, when dating a extremely obese woman?

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Curiousv:
As a guy who prefers "moderately large" ladies the most (by FA standards at least), in the range of 200-300 pounds, I still can find very thin and much larger women attractive, as style and personality matters me more than just raw weight. However, my dating experience is only with thin, or with at most about 300 pounds girls.

Lately I've been fascinated with the thought of dating a woman who is much larger than the size range I've been used to, even 500 lbs or more. I've never met someone this big in real life, there aren't really many 300+ lbs in my area, but from online photos and videos I learned that it is possible for me to find even a woman above 500 lbs super attractive.

However, due to my lack of experience with sizes this big, I'm interested in some advice. How should I prepare, what should I look out for, if it so happens that I find someone in the 450-500 lbs or higher category, so I don't cause embarrassment for myself or for her? The more obscure and unexpected the advice, the better. I'm not a complete idiot, so of course I know not to invite her to a difficult hike, or to any activity which would be tiring for her or too difficult for her to navigate. So I'm looking for advice from those who are of that size or have dated someone of that size, and know what people inexperienced with such sizes don't expect.

Letters And Numbers:
I think you’re going to get a bunch of responses which are different variations on “talk to and especially *listen to* the person you’re dating”. I can’t imagine there’s much more to say, but if there is, please be respectful on both sides.


I think the other thing is not to objectify or fetishize her.

Sure, it's nice to learn things to be mindful of your partner, but questions like these makes it very easy to depersonalize your partner. These are the same questions you ask when you get a pet.

Every woman is different. Every fat woman is different. The needs and desires will be different. What works for one will not work for the other.

I know some 400+ people that try to stay active and others who avoid it like the plague. I know some who are fearsly independant and others who love being doted on.

Like LettersAndNumbers says, communication is vital. But you have to keep the person inside the body in your mind first. If you get into a relationship thinking you know how to take care of a 400-500 lbs gf, you're doomed to fail. At that point, you've closed yourself off to growth.

Instead, focus on learning to be a good partner. There's nothing more attractive than when a man asks you "How can I make you feel more loved and supported?" and then follows through. Even if you are already doing everything right, the fact that you asked means you value and cherish her.
6 months

What should i be prepared for, when dating a extremely obese woman?

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Letters And Numbers   United States
Joined 1 year
administrator
Curiousv:
As a guy who prefers "moderately large" ladies the most (by FA standards at least), in the range of 200-300 pounds, I still can find very thin and much larger women attractive, as style and personality matters me more than just raw weight. However, my dating experience is only with thin, or with at most about 300 pounds girls.

Lately I've been fascinated with the thought of dating a woman who is much larger than the size range I've been used to, even 500 lbs or more. I've never met someone this big in real life, there aren't really many 300+ lbs in my area, but from online photos and videos I learned that it is possible for me to find even a woman above 500 lbs super attractive.

However, due to my lack of experience with sizes this big, I'm interested in some advice. How should I prepare, what should I look out for, if it so happens that I find someone in the 450-500 lbs or higher category, so I don't cause embarrassment for myself or for her? The more obscure and unexpected the advice, the better. I'm not a complete idiot, so of course I know not to invite her to a difficult hike, or to any activity which would be tiring for her or too difficult for her to navigate. So I'm looking for advice from those who are of that size or have dated someone of that size, and know what people inexperienced with such sizes don't expect.

Letters And Numbers:
I think you’re going to get a bunch of responses which are different variations on “talk to and especially *listen to* the person you’re dating”. I can’t imagine there’s much more to say, but if there is, please be respectful on both sides.

Munchies:

These are the same questions you ask when you get a pet.


Thank you, this is the vibe I was getting but I couldn't find the words.

When you meet someone, and get to know them to the point where you're *dating* them, I don't think a thread like this should be necessary. You already know them. You should be communicating with them. If you're not, and you feel like there's a real communication breakdown, ask yourself why. Work on a foundation of respect, and all the things Munchies, said, and I'm sure the rest will come naturally.
6 months

What should i be prepared for, when dating a extremely obese woman?

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Curiousv   Romania
Joined 15 years
Is this degrading, patronizing, and accusatory tone really necessary? All I asked for was some personal experience about what to expect, and what someone who did not experience being with someone of that size might not realize, and it was hypothetical anyway. And of course I'm not 5 years old and I know that a date is not a pet and I should be communicating with her, duuuh.

And all I got was accusations, personal attacks, and wild assumptions. This community is really getting toxic by the day smiley
6 months

What should i be prepared for, when dating a extremely obese woman?

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Morbidly A Beast   United States
Joined 2 years
Curiousv:
Is this degrading, patronizing, and accusatory tone really necessary? All I asked for was some personal experience about what to expect, and what someone who did not experience being with someone of that size might not realize, and it was hypothetical anyway. And of course I'm not 5 years old and I know that a date is not a pet and I should be communicating with her, duuuh.

And all I got was accusations, personal attacks, and wild assumptions. This community is really getting toxic by the day smiley


Is it toxic or are you just asking asinine questions and didn’t like the response you got? Plus size+ are human beings just like skinny people, each with very degrees of needs and wants.
6 months

What should i be prepared for, when dating a extremely obese woman?

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Letters And Numbers   United States
Joined 1 year
administrator
Curiousv:
Is this degrading, patronizing, and accusatory tone really necessary? All I asked for was some personal experience about what to expect, and what someone who did not experience being with someone of that size might not realize, and it was hypothetical anyway. And of course I'm not 5 years old and I know that a date is not a pet and I should be communicating with her, duuuh.

And all I got was accusations, personal attacks, and wild assumptions. This community is really getting toxic by the day smiley


I don't think anyone is making personal attacks.
6 months

What should i be prepared for, when dating a extremely obese woman?

Avatar
Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Curiousv:
Is this degrading, patronizing, and accusatory tone really necessary? All I asked for was some personal experience about what to expect, and what someone who did not experience being with someone of that size might not realize, and it was hypothetical anyway. And of course I'm not 5 years old and I know that a date is not a pet and I should be communicating with her, duuuh.

And all I got was accusations, personal attacks, and wild assumptions. This community is really getting toxic by the day smiley


I'm curious how you arrived at this conclusion, especially since we have had exchanges in which I've been exponentially more harsh than I was here.

If anything, I've been fair and nuanced here.

There isn't any generalized advice anyone can give you besides what LettersAndNumbers has, and I have already said.

I'm straight, so I don't have experience dating women, but I've dated men of varying sizes. I've dated men who are average, chubby, and properly fat. My current partner is about 400 lbs. He was about 500 lbs at his heaviest.

There isn't a major difference in dating a 160, 200, or even 500 lb person. The most I've had to accommodate is his width and weight. And I'm confident you are smart enough to have already thought of that, so I won't insult your intelligence.

Outside of that, all I had to do was communicate and listen to him. He knows he can talk to me about anything, and I'll take it seriously. I regularly check in and ask him how I can make him feel more loved and supported.

In other words, everything I advised you to do is what I do, and I know how to work 100% of the time.
6 months

What should i be prepared for, when dating a extremely obese woman?

Avatar
FAMGM   Australia
Joined 1 year
Curiousv:
As a guy who prefers "moderately large" ladies the most (by FA standards at least), in the range of 200-300 pounds, I still can find very thin and much larger women attractive, as style and personality matters me more than just raw weight. However, my dating experience is only with thin, or with at most about 300 pounds girls.

Lately I've been fascinated with the thought of dating a woman who is much larger than the size range I've been used to, even 500 lbs or more. I've never met someone this big in real life, there aren't really many 300+ lbs in my area, but from online photos and videos I learned that it is possible for me to find even a woman above 500 lbs super attractive.

However, due to my lack of experience with sizes this big, I'm interested in some advice. How should I prepare, what should I look out for, if it so happens that I find someone in the 450-500 lbs or higher category, so I don't cause embarrassment for myself or for her? The more obscure and unexpected the advice, the better. I'm not a complete idiot, so of course I know not to invite her to a difficult hike, or to any activity which would be tiring for her or too difficult for her to navigate. So I'm looking for advice from those who are of that size or have dated someone of that size, and know what people inexperienced with such sizes don't expect.


If you aren’t fat yourself, it can be surprising how your weight affects things you do.

One major thing that your very large date will appreciate is you thinking in advance of venue seating.

I can tell you that when I was skinny it was the last thing I ever thought of, if at all, but now that I am approaching 350 lbs, fitting in booths is a problem, as is bar stool seating (it feels like I’m being impaled through the rectum). Soon chairs with arms will be a problem elsewhere.

Always check in advance with venues what the seating will be like.
6 months
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