General

My sexuality and my kinks are exclusively around the big bellies, and nothing else

I'm writing this because I don't really know how to name what I have, but as the title suggests, my sexuality and flaws are all about big bellies and nothing else. And I have a lot of problems with big bellies. I absolutely cannot be sexually attracted to a skinny or thin man. It's like my big belly fetish takes up so much space that it overshadows everything else. If it doesn't involve the belly, it often doesn't excite me. I sometimes wonder if I'm asexual or graysexual. Perhaps if this belly fetish and its procession of other oddities that accompany it had never germinated in my childhood brain. Maybe I would have had more standard sexual desires or maybe I would have remained potentially Ace. I don't know, but this "mono-obsession" with the belly means that I have a very low percentage chance of finding a person who has the right body and shares the same fetishes as me in reality. And that's part of why I signed up for sites like grommr. Because I have no choice. I think a lot of people reading this will recognize themselves. In any case, it’s not necessarily simple.
4 months

My sexuality and my kinks are exclusively around the big bellies, and nothing else

I can totally relate to your frustration and used to feel guilty about this but honestly everyone needs to find their own unique balance between attraction and compatibility. It's totally okay to have "musts" as long as you respect potential partners as human beings and let them make decisions about their bodies for themselves.

As for whether or not you're asexual/greysexual, no one can answer that for you. I've talked to two different therapists about this over the years about a similar issue myself, and one of them suggested I was asexual but the other one said I can't be because of my fetish. Idk. Either way, it may not be something you can change, and life is too short to try to guilt yourself out of finding happiness. I'm sure there are partners out there that are complementary to you in both personality and attraction.
4 months

My sexuality and my kinks are exclusively around the big bellies, and nothing else

Fat Dreams:
I can totally relate to your frustration and used to feel guilty about this but honestly everyone needs to find their own unique balance between attraction and compatibility. It's totally okay to have "musts" as long as you respect potential partners as human beings and let them make decisions about their bodies for themselves.

As for whether or not you're asexual/greysexual, no one can answer that for you. I've talked to two different therapists about this over the years about a similar issue myself, and one of them suggested I was asexual but the other one said I can't be because of my fetish. Idk. Either way, it may not be something you can change, and life is too short to try to guilt yourself out of finding happiness. I'm sure there are partners out there that are complementary to you in both personality and attraction.


yes, that's the only thing I can do, I think. find that balance. This may surprise you, but I have never fallen in love in my life. (if this ever happens and if I'm not aromantic) Maybe I'll fall in love with a skinny man and my love for him will go beyond the physical. regarding respect for other people's bodies, I don't like making people gain weight, even if I like big bellies, I find the concept a little unhealthy if the person doesn't want it, so I think it's not should not pose a problem. Otherwise, I don't experience this problem as a frustration or as something that is ruining my life. But rather an annoying problem.

But yes, life is often a balancing act where you have to know how to make concessions.
4 months

My sexuality and my kinks are exclusively around the big bellies, and nothing else

Fat Dreams:
I can totally relate to your frustration and used to feel guilty about this but honestly everyone needs to find their own unique balance between attraction and compatibility. It's totally okay to have "musts" as long as you respect potential partners as human beings and let them make decisions about their bodies for themselves.

As for whether or not you're asexual/greysexual, no one can answer that for you. I've talked to two different therapists about this over the years about a similar issue myself, and one of them suggested I was asexual but the other one said I can't be because of my fetish. Idk. Either way, it may not be something you can change, and life is too short to try to guilt yourself out of finding happiness. I'm sure there are partners out there that are complementary to you in both personality and attraction.


Just wanna point out that your second therapist is unbelievably stupid and needs to educate themselves. Lotta aces participate in kink.
4 months

My sexuality and my kinks are exclusively around the big bellies, and nothing else

Stockylove:
I'm writing this because I don't really know how to name what I have, but as the title suggests, my sexuality and flaws are all about big bellies and nothing else. And I have a lot of problems with big bellies. I absolutely cannot be sexually attracted to a skinny or thin man. It's like my big belly fetish takes up so much space that it overshadows everything else. If it doesn't involve the belly, it often doesn't excite me. I sometimes wonder if I'm asexual or graysexual. Perhaps if this belly fetish and its procession of other oddities that accompany it had never germinated in my childhood brain. Maybe I would have had more standard sexual desires or maybe I would have remained potentially Ace. I don't know, but this "mono-obsession" with the belly means that I have a very low percentage chance of finding a person who has the right body and shares the same fetishes as me in reality. And that's part of why I signed up for sites like grommr. Because I have no choice. I think a lot of people reading this will recognize themselves. In any case, it’s not necessarily simple.


Good luck on Grommr. All my gay friends say they crazy over there.

But I feel you on the belly thing. Although I'm attracted to many things, big bellies are the sexiest to me. Nearly every guy I've gone after in the past 10 years has a big belly.

Hell, my partner knows if he wants to get me in the mood, all he has to do is lift up his shirt and wobble his belly. I'll be on him like white in rice.

That said, are you struggling to find someone?
4 months

My sexuality and my kinks are exclusively around the big bellies, and nothing else

Munchies:
Just wanna point out that your second therapist is unbelievably stupid and needs to educate themselves. Lotta aces participate in kink.


I left out a lot of context. Sure ace people can participate in fetish, but can a person still be ace if their fetish (and only their fetish) makes them desire sex? Maybe gray ace? I think the definition can get complicated and subjective at that point.
4 months

My sexuality and my kinks are exclusively around the big bellies, and nothing else

Munchies:
Just wanna point out that your second therapist is unbelievably stupid and needs to educate themselves. Lotta aces participate in kink.

Fat Dreams:
I left out a lot of context. Sure ace people can participate in fetish, but can a person still be ace if their fetish (and only their fetish) makes them desire sex? Maybe gray ace? I think the definition can get complicated and subjective at that point.


I stand on business. Desiring sex and being sexually attracted to people are two different things. Being grey ace means you can develop sexual attraction as you get to know someone, but you aren't sexually attracted to strangers.

I'm not saying you aren't some flavor of ace or not. I'm saying your second therapist needs to educate themselves on these things before insisting you are or aren't something. That's incredibly irresponsible and a product of them being unbelievably lazy.
4 months

My sexuality and my kinks are exclusively around the big bellies, and nothing else

Stockylove:
I'm writing this because I don't really know how to name what I have, but as the title suggests, my sexuality and flaws are all about big bellies and nothing else. And I have a lot of problems with big bellies. I absolutely cannot be sexually attracted to a skinny or thin man. It's like my big belly fetish takes up so much space that it overshadows everything else. If it doesn't involve the belly, it often doesn't excite me. I sometimes wonder if I'm asexual or graysexual. Perhaps if this belly fetish and its procession of other oddities that accompany it had never germinated in my childhood brain. Maybe I would have had more standard sexual desires or maybe I would have remained potentially Ace. I don't know, but this "mono-obsession" with the belly means that I have a very low percentage chance of finding a person who has the right body and shares the same fetishes as me in reality. And that's part of why I signed up for sites like grommr. Because I have no choice. I think a lot of people reading this will recognize themselves. In any case, it’s not necessarily simple.

Munchies:
Good luck on Grommr. All my gay friends say they crazy over there.

But I feel you on the belly thing. Although I'm attracted to many things, big bellies are the sexiest to me. Nearly every guy I've gone after in the past 10 years has a big belly.

Hell, my partner knows if he wants to get me in the mood, all he has to do is lift up his shirt and wobble his belly. I'll be on him like white in rice.

That said, are you struggling to find someone?


I also heard that people were crazy on Grommr. Honestly, I encountered them very rarely. The problem is people who ignore you, people who chat with you and end up ignoring you for no reason, and people who ask you out and then ignore you. There are really a lot of them. and yes I have a lot of trouble finding someone for that. I once managed to get an appointment with a client for a feedism session. But he lived very far from my town, he came to my town to see a friend, do a feederism session with me, then returned to his town to the north afterwards. There is another feeder with whom I get along very well, he would love to do a feederism session with me but "of course" he lives very far from me. I've known people on grommr who haven't managed to get a single review even though they've been on grommr for several years. As for looking for a relationship, I remain quite flexible, I already see the person in real life first, I chat with them, and I will see if they simply remain friends, if we no longer speak afterward, or if it can be a future partner. For me, everything is done by feeling. But yes it's very hard to get an appointment on grommr apparently. for many people.

Absolutely anything a big guy can do with his stomach drives me crazy, as does you.
4 months