General

Talk to him. Tell him you want to have sex with him, but you feel very insecure about your body. The two of you can brainstorm what will work best for you.

Can you take baby steps? Like wearing more revealing clothing, or going swimming with him? If you are his type, let him massage you, put his hands all over you, make out with you. Let him express his passion and love. That should help clear your doubts.

As far as the first time I stood naked in front of someone, and had sex, it was a very strange and scary leap of faith, like jumping off a waterfall or something. I also am very insecure about my physical appearance; however, with time you realize that people's physical appearances and being naked or sensual is not as big a deal as it seems at first. We are our own harshest judges.

Try looking at body positive role models and fashion shoots (Lizzo is gorgeous and awesome). You're also welcome to look around at this community, and you will find lots and lots of people who think your body is beautiful and arousing. You sound like a total bombshell, your boyfriend is lucky!

Ultimately, it's okay to take it slow if you want, and it's also okay to just get it out of the way! Tbh, your first time will likely be very anticlimactic; our society mythologizes and fetishizes virginity. What I'm trying to say is that you will realize after the fact that it is not such a big deal, and it won't seem as scary. It's just a life milestone. Let your bf show you how much he cares about you!

The first time can be daunting but here are some things I wish someone had told me. Take it slow. Be open and communicative about what feels good and what doesn’t. If a position isn’t working, don’t be afraid to suggest switching things up. It’s okay to take breaks. The best sex I’ve ever had involved laughter, because sex includes a lot of weird noises, smells and other things.

As for the confidence issue, consider the following: we are rarely our own “type.” I’ve been with my partner for almost 10 years and when I look in the mirror I STILL think ‘Wouldn’t she prefer a tall guy? Or if I were more muscular?’ And yet, I’m her type. Physically, she’s apple shaped with a big tummy and she used to roll her eyes when I’d say she’s my exact type, but she IS. 10/10 times I will find her to be the most beautiful woman in any room she’s in. It’s difficult to believe that other people would find us attractive when all we see are our perceived flaws. But for someone else, they just see all the things they like.

That happens all the time. I think of myself as a very attractive person, but some days I think I look like shit. Maybe I'm bloated or broke out in hives or something. I'll want to cover up or something, but every time, my partner will look at me like I am the most attractive woman in the world.

And to him, I am. I could be sleep-deprived, sick, with wicked bed-head, and scruffy PJs. Still, he looks at me and says things like "You're so beautiful. I can't get enough of you. You're the best I've ever had." I might still feel insecure, but it's hard to stay that way when the man I love treats me like this.

I can’t confess to know this guy’s intentions, but if he told you that you’re his exact type both personality-wise and physically, I’d say believe him until he gives you a reason not to.

Being naked in front of him might be scary, but to him it’ll probably be the highlight of his week. Because here’s the thing: he already knows you’re fat and he’s still here. Nothing is going to surprise him when the clothes come off. Turning the lights off can help with that physical discomfort and it can be a fun, sexy way to increase the anticipation.

Congrats! 🎉