Fat experiences

Freo:
In my workplace people are generally fit, and I never found someone really attractive; however, today I noticed how a female colleague who has always had soft curves is really getting fat, and this is turning me on; she is actually getting much more beautiful than before! 

Have you had similar experience? How would you softly encourage this?

Freo:
In my workplace people are generally fit, and I never found someone really attractive; however, today I noticed how a female colleague who has always had soft curves is really getting fat, and this is turning me on; she is actually getting much more beautiful than before! 

Have you had similar experience? How would you softly encourage this?

Munchies:
You don't. You keep your inside thoughts inside, mind your business, and leave that poor woman alone.

And if you can't find it in your heart to be a decent person, then do it for self-preservation. Because she can report you to HR for harassment and that may end up with you being promoted to customer.

Freo:
In my workplace people are generally fit, and I never found someone really attractive; however, today I noticed how a female colleague who has always had soft curves is really getting fat, and this is turning me on; she is actually getting much more beautiful than before! 

Have you had similar experience? How would you softly encourage this?

Munchies:
You don't. You keep your inside thoughts inside, mind your business, and leave that poor woman alone.

And if you can't find it in your heart to be a decent person, then do it for self-preservation. Because she can report you to HR for harassment and that may end up with you being promoted to customer.

Freo:
I hear you, although I don’t understand why you would label her a “poor woman” or why you would consider any possible behavior like "harassment." Especially because encouraging is not deceiving, and the fact that someone finds a colleague sexy and beautiful does not imply they will tease her or act inappropriately. FYI, she looks happy and confident about herself.

Boops Boops:
Flirting is now harassment.

Boops Boops:
Flirting is now harassment.

Munchies:
It can be, and I am shocked that you were unaware.

I remember this one job I used to work at. This was in person before the plague. We had a high turnover, so there were a lot of male new hires who came through.

I got hit on a lot. It was gross. It was creepy. I felt so unsafe. One time, a supervisor in another department started hitting on me because he liked how I filled out my clothes (I was dressed modestly, but I am still a curvy woman.)

I reported him to HR, and he was fired shortly after. I found out through the grapevine that he would hit on his subordinates a lot. Several women had reported him, but nothing was done until he stepped outside of his department to hit on me.

I've worked in HR before. Once in a call center and once in a University. I can promise you that you can be disciplined if you hit on someone and they report you to HR. I've seen demotions, suspensions, and terminations.

Please tell me that you aren't doing this to your coworkers because that is classifiable as sexual assault.

And yes, this happens to men too. I had a work buddy who's female boss kept hitting on him. Woman would not take no for an answer. It nearly became a lawsuit for creating a hostile work environment, so the company fired her.

Anjou:
As someone who meant the love of her life at work, as well as having worked in HR in the past, it really depends what you mean by “flirting”?

Anjou:
As someone who meant the love of her life at work, as well as having worked in HR in the past, it really depends what you mean by “flirting”?

Munchies:
Plus it's not as simple as getting enthusiastic consent. There's power dynamics and conflicts of interest to keep in mind too.

So while there are ways to make it work, it is a very careful game you have to play. You have to keep everything above board as it can impact both of your career paths. It can determine which departments you can work in, what promotions you get, or what teams you work on. I've seen some jobs that make you sign paperwork when it gets serious.

And don't even get me started on the potential fall out if it doesn't work out.

This isn't any shade towards you, Anjou. You and your husband seem to have a lovely relationship. But as a fellow former HR rep, I'm sure you have seen more failures than successes.