Submission and domination

so, mainly i joined because i’ve had many fantasies revolving weight gain and to my own frustration could not find a satisfying answer as to why. i’ve read papers, scoured books, not much. i have what i would describe as a pretty severe masochistic complex, not just in a sexual sense, it infects my whole life in ways i don’t even notice most often. i love humiliation, it’s one of the main things that get me off consistently. i’ve had issues with anorexia in the past, and for most of my life the idea of gaining weight was a terrifying idea. i’ve been in recovery for nearly two years and in that time i’ve discovered that feederism interests me severely. thinking back to my childhood i can remember the occasional dream that left me feeling arousal i couldn’t name at the time, that had grounds in feederism. so while i think some of it is wired into me, the way that i treat it and think about it seems heavily tied in with my masochistic personality, and former issues with eating and weight gain. can anyone relate to this? or am i preaching to a void. lmao.

I feel like this may actually be a pretty consistent sentiment. For many it's a buildup of appreciation over time, and for others it's a response to something that happened earlier in life. For myself, I realized my appreciation for the larger figure when I re-connected with an old girlfriend who had put on some weight (by her own efforts) and it opened my eyes to the fact I had a love for those of the larger persuasion. I find it kind of inspiring tho that this is not only something you want to pursue for kink reasons, but that it may also serve as healing. I for one can't wait to see your progress. Be well and well fed bro!