General

You came here *specifically* to cheat on your partner. That isn't love, for her, or yourself.

Yes, you *can* talk about it with other people. You choose not to, because you have not yet separated the SHAME (yes, shame) you feel about *being attracted to fat* from the simple fact that everyone (EVERYONE) has preferences, some less common.

If she was really your best friend, you would be willing to talk about this with her, even if you didn't know how. If she was really your "best friend" you would trust not being judged or ridiculed, or confident that if she did reject you, you could end the relationship with dignity and move on to find a better partner.

You are talking about fat women as though they are food on a menu, something to be selected whenever you feel the craving for a specific thing. People in the world are all human beings and deserve basic respect to not be reduced to "wide-hipped with fat asses."

Your problem is not "wanting what you can't have," it is that you literally view women as objects for YOUR pleasure. You are benefitting in other ways from your relationship with your partner; that is why you "love" her, but your "love" is attachment and affection, not love, because love is also a verb. Loving her means you would understand that being vulnerable is the best thing for both of you and your relationship. New kinks and attractions are an expression of vulnerability. If you don't trust her with that, to hold that space for you, then you don't have the relationship you think you do. You have one of convenience, or of other levels and needs that are not romantic at the depth you believe.

Imagine how you would feel if you were in her shoes: would you rather she just confess outright, even if it scared her? Or would you rather she sneak around, go onto forums, and reduce other men she found attractive to nothing but physical features, while *also* actively seeking connections to contain her feelings about it because she can't deal with them on her own like an adult? That'd make you feel like absolute shit, I hope. If that doesn't, then you don't have a relationship.

Instead, you are here, like countless others, acting as though they are dealing with some great moral dilemma that justifies infidelity (I am a person who believes there is sometimes justification for infidelity, this isn't one of them). You are too ashamed to even let other fat people see YOUR body.

Realizing well into a relationship that you learned something new about yourself like this is not the problem. This happens often. In fact, it's inevitable: people are *supposed* to grow and change in relationships. They are *supposed* to learn more about themselves and others around them. The mark on whether or not you are truly growing as a person is what you do when that happens. And this isn't it.

Signed, a fat person absolutely fucking sick to death of cowardly men so goddamn afraid of their own feelings it's never occurred to them they are supposed to exist and thus take them out on the fat people (excuse me, "wide-hipped and fat asses" as though we will welcome them warmly for their immaturity and refusal to take accountability for themselves.

The good old delete of shame.

It never ceases to bemuse me when these closeted feeders (and it's always the feeders) get called out for being a shit partner and a shit person only to hide the evidence.

I can't help but laugh even though it's not funny. She's gonna find out one day - they always do. And with an attitude like that about women, the only feedees that will give you the time of day are the catfish and scammers. No one else will give you the time of day for long.

Surprisingly they have kept their account up. so far.

Looks like you really hit the nail on the head about the coward thing.

He made a post promoting taking benzos for weight gain. After I replied to that post listing reasons why that's a bad idea, he deleted his whole account.

He'll probably be back later without learning a damned thing.

You hate to see it.

fucking scary as shit for him to be all "oh I've never shared this with anyone! my partner is thin poor me!" and then start talking about benzos. Bet that is something he's explored to do exactly what sick fucks like that do

Oh, the thought crossed my mind. He had an ancient post on a secret feeding thread that's now been scrubbed from the internet.

Uuh, what just happened?

There is got to be more context to this than what i can see here, right?

just someone hinting he wanted to cheat on is wife as she is too thin, and commenting on secret feeding threads and commenting about drugs to help gain etc

I see, life's usual insanity...

just another day in the office