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[24m] struggling with feederism and partner’s [24f] weight loss – need advice

MlekoWTubce:
Hi everyone, I’m really struggling and hoping to get advice from people who might understand. I’m a 24M feeder in a 7-year relationship with my partner 24F. I love her deeply – she’s beautiful, we connect emotionally, and she means the world to me. I’ve never cheated on her and never would; I’m fully committed to her and our relationship. But my feederism fetish is causing serious problems, and I feel completely lost. My partner used to have some extra weight – not morbidly obese, just overweight – and I found her body incredibly attractive. Sex was great (we both came every time)

A while ago, she started losing weight for health and personal reasons, going from overweight to a slimmer figure. I respect her choice completely, as I want her to be healthy and happy. However, her smaller body doesn’t align with my preferences, and I struggle to stay aroused during intimacy. This isn’t about her as a person. She’s still gorgeous, with a beautiful face, and I’m as in love with her as ever. But my fetish is very specific to fuller shapes, and I can’t seem to get past the changes in her body. It’s affecting our sex life, and I’m worried it’s pulling us apart.

We’ve tried talking about it, but it went badly. She got very upset, called my fetish “disgusting,” and said I’m “sick” for wanting her to be bigger. She also mentioned that other guys find her attractive, which really hurt. Her reaction left me feeling guilty and ashamed, but I still can’t change how i feel.

I’m not interested in an open relationship, and I’d never pressure her to gain weight – I respect her autonomy and want her to feel good about herself. But I’m scared that if she keeps losing weight, I’ll never feel sexually satisfied again, and I don’t want to lose her because she’s so important to me.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle a partner’s weight loss when it clashed with your feederism fetish? Were you able to find a compromise, or did it lead to a breakup? Any tips on how to talk to her without hurting her further? I’m desperate to make this work, but I feel stuck.Thanks for reading – I’d really appreciate any thoughts, experiences, or advice from others who’ve been through this.

TL;DR: 24M feeder in a 7-year relationship with 24F partner. Love her deeply, but her weight loss for health reasons clashes with my preferences, affecting our sex life. She reacted negatively when I tried discussing it, leaving me feeling guilty. I respect her autonomy and don’t want an open relationship, but I’m struggling with arousal and fear losing her. Seeking advice on handling this, possibly through therapy or compromise, without hurting her further.


Have you spoken to a therapist?
2 days

[24m] struggling with feederism and partner’s [24f] weight loss – need advice

Thanks for response.
Tbh no, i ve never talked with therapist in my life. This problem is purely sexual and i think im too embarassed to talk abt it now with therapist
2 days

[24m] struggling with feederism and partner’s [24f] weight loss – need advice

MlekoWTubce:
Thanks for response.
Tbh no, i ve never talked with therapist in my life. This problem is purely sexual and i think im too embarassed to talk abt it now with therapist


Gotta do it, fam. Get a sex therapist if you need too. Why are you spending money and time to not get better?

You could do that for free!
1 day

[24m] struggling with feederism and partner’s [24f] weight loss – need advice

MlekoWTubce:
Thanks for response.
Tbh no, i ve never talked with therapist in my life. This problem is purely sexual and i think im too embarassed to talk abt it now with therapist

Munchies:
Gotta do it, fam. Get a sex therapist if you need too. Why are you spending money and time to not get better?

You could do that for free!
Some good advice here! Therapy takes a little practice just like anything, but it's not scary.
1 day

[24m] struggling with feederism and partner’s [24f] weight loss – need advice

Good on you for communicating with your partner. I can't imagine that's an easy conversation. Also keep in mind that you're very young. Not sure what you're thinking long term, but if you've been together since you were 17, there's a good chance it wasn't meant to be forever and that's ok. Seek professional help and go from there.
1 day

[24m] struggling with feederism and partner’s [24f] weight loss – need advice

Thx for all the replies, we had very strong argument today about all of this. She is really into her weight loss and I dont want to stop her. There is a big chance that its all gonna end tbh, she thinks im fucked up and she told me i need to get "rid of it" or we done ://// not gonna lie that sucks hard i really love her but she says it means nothing because she doesnt "feel it". She threatens me with cheating if i "dont get this straight".
I think we close to done, I would never let a cheat slide and if she continues her weigh loss journey im afraid its gonna missalign with me further.
Sorry for english not my native language
2 hours