General

like honestly i dont get it. i will shoot my shot and go for like the fattest guys and they always reject me. or they will hook up with me and then ghost me. idk why because the guys who i get with who are extremely conventionally attractive (not attractive to me i only like fat guys) but like that my friends would say are super attractive, they never do that to me. its always the fat guys who like lowkey cheat on me and shit. it pisses me off so badly. like the conventionally attractive guys never do that to me and i always end up ending stuff with them for fat guys and then they literally just do me dirty like all the time. i just dont understand why i keep getting treated like shit by fat men when theyre the only ones i want.

Thats strange and sad. A lot of fat men would be glad being in their Position ( thats at least my guess, unless you are making them feel its more like they are a tool or object in whatever sense ).

hook up culture has kinda ruined that prospect for a lot of people who long for it.

I don’t understand how there’s dudes who are heavy with wives and or girlfriends who cheat, it shrimply seems like rage bait to me. Like how bro.

These stories hurt my heart. As a fat man i wish I had been found and approached (by an age appropriate person) and had that kind of dynamic. I feel like a lot of years of fun have been potentially wasted.

Ugh this sucks I’m sorry. I was going to say I wonder if it was his age if he was quite young and maybe not ready to commit but some of the other stories here contradict that. In any case that’s unacceptable behavior.

Back in the day, I passed on a lot of potential feedist relationships simply because I was oblivious when a girl liked me. But, like, if I had known and accepted, I wouldn't have cheated or treated any of them badly.

Combination of things. Could be lack of maturity on their parts, but also the fact they maybe attracted to plus sized over slender probally has a lot to do why. Back in the day, 40 yrs ago it was the opposite, if you were overweight, you had a high probability that you would have a hard time finding someone. Society in recent years has come to flip the switch and gone the other way in terms of fat acceptance. I would say do not try so hard and eventually you will find some nice BHM that will give you a chance. Dating today is really hard all around. If it aint looks, its age, if it aint age, its something else for those rejecting the other people to have reason not to give that person a chance. We become too much a cynical and narcisstic society and dependent on technology to find someone as well, unlike 30 years ago when the internet was up and coming and people still had to rely on their wit and charms in person to make the connection. Hang in there, you will find someone. Best of luck in 2026. The only tip I have for you is perseverance. Sometimes if you want something in life, you have to go out and get it, and not let it come to you.

If you’re seeking out fat men, you have to understand that there is a major difference in psychology between fat men who hate being fat, and never wanted to be fat, and fat men who are feedists and gained weight deliberately.

The former kind of man invariably has low self esteem, and simply doesn’t respect people who find him attractive.

You are making a point there that is the main line in "this fetish admiration".
People, when they meet a person with certain body types, we all assume things, like if we see someone fat, we think that person got fat because they wanted to.
The fact that someone likes to gain weight does not mean that they have low self-esteem.
There are people who like to eat but don't like to gain weight. However, they don't burn off the calories they consume.
Which, for me, is the saddest thing... I mean, if you don't like what you see and start crying, well, do something about it, right?.
So if we meet someone, we have to SCAN the situation, because if that person doesn't want to gain weight and you start OVERFEEDING him/her, well, that person might start growing resentment over the feeder and psychologically hurt themselves.

this actually makes alot of sense. other than the fact that i find them attractive, (fat men) ive noticed that i dont have alot in common with them otherwise, due to the fact that theyve probably had very different life experiences than i have. like alot of times they are extremely into things that im simply not interested in, or theyre personality is extremely unlikeable like theyre always self deprecating, regardless of what i say. ive literally had to force myself to like their personalities just because i find them hot, even if we arent compatable at all.

like this one fat guy i talked to would put all these rules and restrictions on me like how he would get mad at me for going out with my friends, and he didnt like me going to parties, and i wasnt allowed to get with other guys while he was getting with other girls and doing whatever he wanted the entire time. my friend literally found him on tinder while we were talking. i wouldve been completely fine with being open so were both allowed to get with other people if he wanted to get with other girls that badly, but he just simply couldnt accept that. i think it stems from a place of insecurity on his part, whereas im extremely confident in myself so i wouldnt care if he was getting with other people as long as it goes both ways.

my friends are baffled that i only go for fat guys and even worse, that i always seem to be the one getting either played, ghosted, or cheated on by them. but my friends are also conventionally attractive so they dont have that underlying insecurity. ive found i have so much more in common with conventionally attractive guys since weve grown up being treated the same way by society, had the same shared life experiences, and enjoy the same types of things. but unfortunately i find fat guys so much more attractive

also its really hard to find guys who are into this kind of thing in real life. since im the type of person who likes to meet people organically, almost every fat guy ive met hates their body and wants to lose weight. so i guess when ive straight up told them they dont need to lose any weight and that id actually find it hot if they gained, it kind of scares them off.