Gaining

I know it's common for people to feel conflicted about gaining, but as per the title I'm curious how often feel conflicted but for more practical reasons?

In my case, I do have a goal of eventually getting fat enough to have a permanent belly hang.

The conflict however is that I realistically can't see that happening.

For starters I don't enjoy stuffing myself, I don't like to eat too early, home meals make me feel too full and the type of food I can comfortably stuff myself with is take out junk food which obviously costs allot.

Then there's my retail job, which is fairly physical and I only get a half hour lunch break which means at best I have a 500kcal chocolate bar.

Even back when I was pushing myself to gain I found the gains minimal which combined with the above left me thinking that it was impractical to continue so I stop.

Gets worse though because every now and then I do get the urge to try and push myself to gain again by eating more even though the above still applies, so I feel like I'm wasting money over eating only to still be plateaued and then have to give up again.

To be clear, I'm not asking for advice or anything like that, I'm just curious if anyone else has similar issue(s), although I'd be curious to hear if you overcame them and how e.g. new desk job.

To be completely honest, I can't really relate to your issues, ive always been chubby, my work is sedentary and I do like to stuff my belly... That being said, I do have some tips:

1.) Snacking- If stuffing isn't your jam, try to snack all throughout the day, anytime you have a free moment, always have skittles or something in your pocket, even go as far as setting reminders on your phone. Ive found my days of biggest intake were actually day-long stuffing sessions, where I never fully ate myself completely out of commission, and took only small breaks between refilling my belly, leaving it full/bloated for the entire day. Obviously you dont have to do it to the extent that I did, but Snacking often will help!

2.) Career - I knew I wanted to be fat/was gaining even back in high school, and I did tailor my career path into business, then HR. I work fully remote but even when I was in office, I had to sit for 8+ hours a day... If you dont particularly care about how much money you make or having passion for your job, id recommend administration work, its highly sedentary, largely WFH, and you can get a certificate in 6 months/1 year

3.) Empty Calories - You kind of cover this as being hard, but ill stress it anyways, empty calories will be your friend, ultra processed foods, full sugar drinks, crackers, cookies, fries, etc... if you dont want to feel overfull but put in weight, empty calories will be your friend.

I hope this helps and best of luck to you!