Catherineh:
I’m really struggling to keep my fantasies to myself. I know I don’t ever want to share them with my partner but I feel like it’s eating me alive. I have fantasied about weight gain and larger bodies since my teen years. And I had more confusing feelings about fatness long before that. I was always a skinny child, and I longed to see my body grow and feel myself take up so much space. As I have grown into an adult and settled into a woman’s body - I am curvy. And I struggle with my body image and want to lose weight. But deep down in my gut and my heart I want to gain weight. Not just a little bit, I want to seriously get fat. My partner is the love of my life and he has absolutely no clue about this. I still have that desire, and I so deeply fantasise about weight gain I feel so ashamed for keeping this from him. I’m binging food when he isn’t there, instigating sex after binges with my stomach bloated turning me on, wanting him to grab my tummy and shake. I want him to feed me and make me grow etc all these thoughts. I feel disgusting and humiliated to even have these thoughts. But I need this in my life. I don’t know what to do. He will leave me or something he definitely is not into this and even if he was I am struggling far too much to even admit this. My heart is pounding just writing this out.
I’m really struggling to keep my fantasies to myself. I know I don’t ever want to share them with my partner but I feel like it’s eating me alive. I have fantasied about weight gain and larger bodies since my teen years. And I had more confusing feelings about fatness long before that. I was always a skinny child, and I longed to see my body grow and feel myself take up so much space. As I have grown into an adult and settled into a woman’s body - I am curvy. And I struggle with my body image and want to lose weight. But deep down in my gut and my heart I want to gain weight. Not just a little bit, I want to seriously get fat. My partner is the love of my life and he has absolutely no clue about this. I still have that desire, and I so deeply fantasise about weight gain I feel so ashamed for keeping this from him. I’m binging food when he isn’t there, instigating sex after binges with my stomach bloated turning me on, wanting him to grab my tummy and shake. I want him to feed me and make me grow etc all these thoughts. I feel disgusting and humiliated to even have these thoughts. But I need this in my life. I don’t know what to do. He will leave me or something he definitely is not into this and even if he was I am struggling far too much to even admit this. My heart is pounding just writing this out.
Sounds your mind is bursting at the seams for the confidence to let your belly do the same 😁
If he accepts you in every way a partner should, then he should respect your wanting to be bigger. It sounds like he’s not reading the clues, but if he loves you he should be able to accept it.
Course, those of us who are lifelong FA’s make it sound easy. My wife is the same height as your bio says but is 360 lovely pounds. Hers is a unique gaining journey but she was once under 150! Been years and years, though. We accept each other’s kinks with larger people and would have it no other way 👍
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