Well firstly he hasn't been on for two weeks at the time of writing so... I do wonder if he has seen any of this.
Firstly, guilt. I ask; what's causing the guilt? softgirl made a good post about this. If it's because of what society tells you, screw society. It's just a form of indoctrination by them... conditioning. Telling people every day that being big is wrong/etc. You know in your heart what you like, and no doubt your body knows what it likes too. Listen to those instead, not what society tells you about it. If you feel guilt, you may well need to reassess yourself and decide whether those thoughts of guilt are truly your own and not just society's whole negative trip put in there. Indeed, a feedee or a gainer is perfectly able to make choices regarding their own body and health. It's their life, their health, their body, their choice. Don't feel guilty about it.
I'll say that hiding the fondness for the weightgain part is fine. That's fetishy, and people who like leather or balloons don't go around advertising it after all. That's all for the bedroom. But it is not okay to hide an attraction to and desire for bigger people, no. They're a person, not a fetish, even if you have a fetish for fat and softness itself. They are not something to feel guilty about, not something to just hide away.
It doesn't mean you need to start shouting it out with a megaphone to the whole world, no, just... not to hide it. Don't be afraid to go out with a bigger person, don't hide them from your family or your friends, or the public or co-workers or anyone. If they make comments about the weight, tell them politely or not-so-politely to back off.
I will take a quote from Oni here:
For most people, family and friends probably won't even get worked up about it, they'll likely be all "sure, that's cool" at the least and be happy for you. Some few do get worked up about it, I don't deny that, I've seen it happen with some people's families, even if it's comparatively rare and something that most won't have to worry about. If you are, however, someone unlucky enough to get stuck with people like that, who won't let you be yourself, who won't let up on their crap, then yeah, it's your cue to kick them to the curb. They're toxic and they aren't worth it. You can't live your whole life doing what they want.
If they give enough of a damn about you, they will let it go, or not worry about it in the first place. If they don't, it shows they sure as hell don't really care about what you want in life as your own person. And it'd be time for them to go. It's something that's not always easy, but something that must be done. If they won't bend, you don't have to keep taking it. Go. Make your own family, seek out new friends, whatever you must do to live a life free of those who only care to bind you. It's not an easy road if you find yourself in this situation, no. But it's worth it to prove to yourself how strong you are and that you aren't afraid to be yourself.
Firstly, guilt. I ask; what's causing the guilt? softgirl made a good post about this. If it's because of what society tells you, screw society. It's just a form of indoctrination by them... conditioning. Telling people every day that being big is wrong/etc. You know in your heart what you like, and no doubt your body knows what it likes too. Listen to those instead, not what society tells you about it. If you feel guilt, you may well need to reassess yourself and decide whether those thoughts of guilt are truly your own and not just society's whole negative trip put in there. Indeed, a feedee or a gainer is perfectly able to make choices regarding their own body and health. It's their life, their health, their body, their choice. Don't feel guilty about it.
I'll say that hiding the fondness for the weightgain part is fine. That's fetishy, and people who like leather or balloons don't go around advertising it after all. That's all for the bedroom. But it is not okay to hide an attraction to and desire for bigger people, no. They're a person, not a fetish, even if you have a fetish for fat and softness itself. They are not something to feel guilty about, not something to just hide away.
It doesn't mean you need to start shouting it out with a megaphone to the whole world, no, just... not to hide it. Don't be afraid to go out with a bigger person, don't hide them from your family or your friends, or the public or co-workers or anyone. If they make comments about the weight, tell them politely or not-so-politely to back off.
I will take a quote from Oni here:
OniGumo wrote:
I have a feeling what you're fearing is ridicule from those you'd count among your friends. And probably more importantly your family. So I'm going to tell you something I tell a lot of people, I say it so much that to my own mind it feels used up, but...If they really care about you, the real you, they won't judge you for liking fat women. And if they do judge you, that's your cue to kick them to the curb because you don't need them if they can't handle the real you.
I have a feeling what you're fearing is ridicule from those you'd count among your friends. And probably more importantly your family. So I'm going to tell you something I tell a lot of people, I say it so much that to my own mind it feels used up, but...If they really care about you, the real you, they won't judge you for liking fat women. And if they do judge you, that's your cue to kick them to the curb because you don't need them if they can't handle the real you.
For most people, family and friends probably won't even get worked up about it, they'll likely be all "sure, that's cool" at the least and be happy for you. Some few do get worked up about it, I don't deny that, I've seen it happen with some people's families, even if it's comparatively rare and something that most won't have to worry about. If you are, however, someone unlucky enough to get stuck with people like that, who won't let you be yourself, who won't let up on their crap, then yeah, it's your cue to kick them to the curb. They're toxic and they aren't worth it. You can't live your whole life doing what they want.
If they give enough of a damn about you, they will let it go, or not worry about it in the first place. If they don't, it shows they sure as hell don't really care about what you want in life as your own person. And it'd be time for them to go. It's something that's not always easy, but something that must be done. If they won't bend, you don't have to keep taking it. Go. Make your own family, seek out new friends, whatever you must do to live a life free of those who only care to bind you. It's not an easy road if you find yourself in this situation, no. But it's worth it to prove to yourself how strong you are and that you aren't afraid to be yourself.
11 years
