BigButt:
I was more than baffled to hear that. I didn't really expected that and honestly don't know what to make of it. She seemed allways between mildly and medium annoyed of her growing size or indifferent aout it..
I was more than baffled to hear that. I didn't really expected that and honestly don't know what to make of it. She seemed allways between mildly and medium annoyed of her growing size or indifferent aout it..
Just a bit of insight on this from the female side, although I doubt all men would find themselves exempt or immune from this experience, which I didn't grasp the full profundity of until I started overriding this element of social programming: If you life in a pro-diet culture, like I have in the USA and UK, it's commonplace conversation for people to criticise their bodies and weight. Among women it's assumed that we all hate something about our bodies, and usually it's how much we weigh, and since everyone is assumed to have that in common there are few barriers to stop people from inserting it into conversations, and then the norm and expectation is that everyone else join in and agree that they also are too fat and don't like their bodies as they are.
The first time I acknowledged my fatness in a non-critical way around some female coworkers it was palpably awkward for them that I'd fucked up their usual script. Because, "I'm so fat" remarks acts as a prompt for others to say "no you're not!", that's what they all did. The concept that I was cool with it didn't register until I'd done it another couple times. I'm better at it now, probably because I'm 300lbs. now and to tell me, "you're not fat" makes us both look silly, but when the first mention of dieting or body bashing comes up, which it did when I started a new job, and it's my turn to join in, I say lightheartedly that I'm currently entirely cool with being fat as fuck like I am. I also chuck in something supportive if they're on a diet because it's not like I'm being standoffish, I'm just not participating,
What I'm getting at with all that, is that it's entirely possible that your girlfriend likes the new weight even though she's said the opposite! Btw, that pressure for girls to say they're fat and hate it is even stronger towards men sometimes. Don't take it personally, but I would take the hint from her friend that you might want to make it clear that you think she's an elegant fat panther too 😉
If she's happy about that then my guess is that she'll start to change what she says about herself when she's with you, and if she's anything like me then one day she'll completely lose the ability and/or will to pretend for the sake of the herd... time will tell, but don't let the doublespeak confuse you in the meantime!
5 years
