Lifestyle tips

I usually just tell people I'm fat positive and think obsession with being thin is another arm of cultural oppression......then if the person is struggling to be thin they may relax a little or be more natural about it. As for your boyfriend I'd say something like "I love your body". I mean most people are going to feel good hearing that.

Here's what I can tell you from experience: almost nothing good ever comes from not being truthful about how you feel with someone you love or care about.

It sounds like you and this fellow have established a good relationship so far. Having control over one's own body, health and fitness is a human right, and it sounds as though you are respectful of this. That's all very good.

However, you have a right to feel what you feel, and its important to be honest about it - at the very least be honest with yourself. I would contend that if you really care about this person and you see yourself having a future with them, then it's important that you be honest with them too. Just remember, forever is a mighty long time, especially when you carry the burden of a secret.

So imagine this: you're alone together, maybe snuggled up on the sofa or something, you're rubbing his belly and you tell him something like, "Hey, I just want you to know that I support you losing weight if you want to, because your health and happiness are important to me. But just so you will know, I have always been attracted to larger and heavier men, and I think you're perfect just the way you are. I think you're gorgeous and you'd be gorgeous at any size, but just so you're aware: even if you got bigger than you are now, I'd still be very attracted to you. In fact, I think I would like it a lot. How do you feel about that?"

Then just listen, let him tell you how he feels. You won't have to wonder or try and guess. Whatever he says, you will have to accept, but at least then you'll both know exactly what you're dealing with.