General

it's not real life, but the same rules apply for the most part.

if you are going to message someone, or approach people them in chat, remember that your first impression is just as important online as it is in the physical world.

people come into the chat room all the time and make an inane comment to "bait" some kind of fat chat. from people. i ignore them, i think most of us in chat do. just like real life, you have to read the room - who is your audience.

i think most of us appreciate compliments on our appearance, but we also are more than just fat people or feeders, etc. there's a lot more than just the fetish if you want to make a personal connection, and i find that some people who log on here with a single-minded focus on the fetish often run out of things to chat about, honestly.

Pretty much every conversation ends up with them sending their cashapp information.

bv333:
Pretty much every conversation ends up with them sending their cashapp information.[/quote]

Funny. I’ve never asked anyone for money. But nearly everyone I interact with says they want to buy me things.

Or they start asking for specific content etc… y’all do realize that takes time and money yeah?

I see a lot of men on here quick to criticize women but rarely hold a mirror up to themselves.

I wish we could upvote because Elle is 100% correct

this is soooooo true.

guys, if you keep having unsatisfying interactions with others over and over again, it's probably not them - it's you. so take a moment and examine: who are you interacting with? how do you interact with them? how do you think they perceive that? mentally step into their shoes and see if from their perspective.

I agree that a lot of men do act like spoiled, entitled whinebags.....but here's the other side of that coin.

You go to the chatrooms, forums and about me sections and you'll find and overwhelming amount of "content creators" that are much more interested in your wallet than actual conversations. I'm not gonna mention her name because it's against site rules but I was asking this one person her opinion on what kind of outfit to get as a gift for someone else and she went "you need to pay to chat with me". Yeah f*ck that. The reason I bring this up is if you're saying in your head "well not everyone is like that", not every dude acts like an entitled d-bag.

The toxic cycle is these two extremes cycle into another where "content creators" are just out to make a buck and the ones paying are treating them as just toys to get off too.

That's not even counting the fake profiles, the scam artists, the disgusting men that sexualize family members and a partridge in a pear tree.

Way back in the day. The tables were reversed.


Most of the women on FF wouldn't have even dreamed of asking for money. Why? Because this was a lifestyle choice, a fetish. Something to enjoy with someone else. Connection was the most important thing. If a connection was made, even online, money was always a secondary issue. The chat had video chat so being catfished was rare, messages were unlimited and you could make your own rooms to invite more than one person into them.



Most of the "Content Creators" had websites. Fully fleshed out websites you could go to, and were famous in the lifestyle. Guys who struck out could always find something to enjoy at least. Everything felt like it was in balance.



Now we have the vampire situation. Let me explain.


The first generation of BBW models had class, professionals by and large. Had their own websites, came into chat and literally never needed to advertise themselves. Also, engaged the chat on a regular basis. You respected them and they'd do the same to you. Not all of them but most were generally decent enough not to call you all peasants and act high and mighty. Why insult a potential customer after all?


Classy bunch in the old days.


As time went on, more and more women thought "I can do this too." Mainly they used the excuse "This fetish is expensive," Sure, it can be. But at the same time no one is forcing you to do it. Clearly there never has been a shortage of people to try and connect with on this site, but it was just easier to start sucking money out of people.

Just like vampires, each generation is worse than the last, yet they think they are, somehow, the greatest to ever get in front of a camera.


Years go by and lots of women decide to do this, or try. They have no class, very few have websites. Are entitled enough to think that "if you talk to me you should pay me," and have no interest at all in trying to make a real connection with anyone. They will take money from as many sources as they can and often reuse 'Content' for each customer, often telling them to not share it in an attempt to keep their cover.


Most of the "Sex workers" on FF have poor quality content, it's short and overpriced, and they lack a personality, unless you count greed as one. A few "Content Creators" were even caught using stolen pictures and videos and demanding over insane amounts of money for "Food costs." Most of them won't think twice before insulting people right out in the open. Most of the simps make this possible, giving money without thinking about it making life worse for the ones who don't. A never ending cycle.


This wears on people.


Especially when you only have 15 messages to use in the chat. Guys feel like they can't afford to waste time trying to be nice only to have a 30 minute conversation turn into "Well I need money, honey, before this goes further, here's my only fans/Cash App link," Then they leave. A wasted message and just a little more sadness. If you don't think the average FF user is lonely on the other side of the screen, well, that just shows how entitled you really are. Sometimes when people get let down it actually causes some physical pain. Real life pain.


You need to get to the point. You may not realize it but time is the most precious thing any of us have. Everyday you don't find someone is a day you never get back and it's more than frustrating when 90% see you as a walking ATM.


There a lot of factors of why people act the way they do on here. The limited chat options, the high amount of phone use we have. Let's face it. Ten minutes in the chat and you'll see how hard it is to hold a conversation with anyone on a phone. They leave the room constantly. Nearly impossible to have a meaningful conversation with anyone.


People break.


Not only do they break, they shatter.


We have people who were good once turn into psychopaths, stalkers...they send death threats after women don't respond in mere seconds....degenerate minds in all the worst ways that even if they get banned still find ways back on to this site to torment people like ghosts, the truly desperate people who have fallen into depression. The mindless simps who encourage the bad behaviors of most content creators and worse. It's a bad mix for everyone.


You want to fix it.

First. Stop paying for "Content creators" Pay people you actually like and respect for a change, and might like you back. Not just the first one willing to get naked on a cam and eat a box of cookies (Maybe not even that). You're better than that.


Second. Fix the chat. I know it's made for mobile but the way it stands now, it's a disaster. If people can't chat for more than three minutes without being tossed out, what's the point?


Third. Unlimited Private Messages, bring back the power to deny people who ask instead of just opening. Force people to talk in the chat more than they do. Be human again.

@BBWCreator82,

A very well thought out and written post. When the Internet was young back in the 90's I had a Feeder website. The people who managed to get themselves online were not your average person. It was a sort of filter and created a real sense of community.

25 years later the Internet has changed and so has the world. Prostitution was frowned upon and most women did not want to become one. The terminology has changed and they are now Content Creators no different to someone who makes videos about car repair. Attention from these people is worth money and you must pay.

In the good old days boy would meet girl and get married. These days the boys only want the best girls, be they the best BBW girls in our case and the best girls have so many males to chose from. This leaves a lot of lonely men who are prepared to pay to get a woman's attention. And they can get it when they pay but not if they don't pay.

The women themselves only want the most eligible men who then get all the action from all the women and rightfully get accused of cheating. The women then blame men in general for the actions of the sexiest men, whilst the majority of men remain rejected unless they pay.

This creates resentment all round. Why would a man try and be polite and to woo the woman when he actually has to pay? Why would a woman not treat men as creeps. The poor socially inept man gets the full force of being called a creep so will probably go back into his shell for fear of being arrested for verbal rape or whatever the hate crime is.

Society is broken in many ways and this is just one of them. There are probably technical things this site can do and there are probably some attitudes that could do with being adjusted.

We recognise that there are still some technical issues, but I can assure you we have been working tirelessly to try and make this site the best it can be. I agree that a lot of this is a cultural change, this site has been around since 2003, and many members have been here from the start, so we've witnessed the change personally. It seems to have become the norm now to ask for money first and think about real relationships second, because 'why not?'. This isn't helped by the simps that seem to give their money away easily to 'web models' on Kik, and then complain to us that they didn't receive their content. This only encourages bad behaviour.

Many websites are not as heavily moderated as we are, but we made the decision a few years back to clamp down hard on this begging behaviour because we could see it was destructive to the community. I'm also pleased that there's been a push back by the community from members like yourselves to show that begging is not tolerated here, not matter what goes on in the wider community.

We've introduced verified profiles which should help, as the number of members that become verified increases over time. We're also looking to reintroduce many of the community events that went by the wayside to help encourage a community spirit. As said above, for many people this is a lifestyle, and we can all help and encourage each other in this.

@hiccupx, technically the site is pretty good. There are some features that would make sense such as a hover over preview so as not to waste clicks navigating to non-existent photos.

The technical solutions I am thinking of are more policy than bug. For instance replying to a post and then the OP blocks you so they and their posts become invisible. You can still tell they are onsite because they come up in search dropdowns and other people are talking in public with them.

It's a weird feeling being ghosted and seems wrong that this would happen in the communal areas. I can handle it because after 25 years of online interactions I am hardened to that feeling. In the old days you had to assume their modem had just dropped the line. Not always the case but it always felt like they just blanked you so that mental adjustment was necessary.

To call someone 'entitled' when they expect common courtesy is the signature on the original rudeness of the other person. These things sting and depending on the temperament of the other person how much it hurts.

I've always been in two minds about people getting paid for 'content'. It's always men who will pay and women who will get paid, pretty much the definition of prostitution. That's OK especially if it creates more of what we need, BBW in this case.

Unfortunately thanks to thing that begins with V that we shall not name, no not Voldemort we rely even more on Internet interactions. Where in the past this was very good for deep discussions, it's less so now with 100 character limits on popular services and 5 message limits on others. It has never been good for romance unless the meetup happened during the peak passion. Chat on line too long without meeting and the flame goes out.

I would suggest that FF does an amazing job but unless you actually arrange a date you will simply get bogged down in the technical limitations of the communications media.