I used to worry about what people would think of me if I got fat. I worried about it while I was working out and trying to lose weight. It bothered me the entire time as I became chubby. Thankfully by the time I got to what I consider to be fat, I realized that it was all in my imagination. I was the only one negatively judging myself and no one else was judging me for it. When I snapped out of it, it was like breaking a spell. I was literally fat in a mostly fat society, lol. As a fat person, I fit right in, and I didn't realize it. Once I accepted my fat body which I secretly enjoyed but was afraid to admit it, I felt accepted.
Good luck purging all of that nonsense out of yourself. Relationships and body size can be a problem if your partner doesn't accept the new you. If my life partner wasn't fat I would be unhappy so I can relate to someone having the opposite preference. The best advice is to enjoy being the person that you want to be, and for that reason, don't hold back on gaining the weight that you want. I wish that I had gotten fat in my teens instead of trying to fight it. Life is too short to waste time being thin. And of course find someone who shares your enjoyment of the fat lifestyle so you can share it together and have fun.
1 year
