General

Myusername4fantasyfeeder:
Stop talking. Start doing. You are a feeder. Feed somebody.

Munchies:
This is terrible advice. I talk to too many feeders who have this mentality. They are honestly the worst part of the site. They do not care about you as a person and want to get their rocks off.

They don't listen. You are nothing to them.

The other day, I got a message from a feeder who only wanted to feed someone. I told him I was a muscular domme feeder and wasn't interested. Still, he persisted.

I did scare him off by telling him he was cute and would look even cuter on my strap. So there's that.

Feeding - especially online feeding - is an art. And if you want to do it well, you have to get to know the other person on some level.

Myusername4fantasyfeeder:
I take your point, but the point of being a feeder is to feed. Things like "online" or "encouraging" or "talking about it" are marginalia, and I get the impression for people on FF that the marginalia has taken over to the detriment of actual feeding

Soldiers fight. Pilots fly. Jugglers juggle. Runners run. Somebody calling themselves a feeder has to feed.

Myusername4fantasyfeeder:
Stop talking. Start doing. You are a feeder. Feed somebody.

Munchies:
This is terrible advice. I talk to too many feeders who have this mentality. They are honestly the worst part of the site. They do not care about you as a person and want to get their rocks off.

They don't listen. You are nothing to them.

The other day, I got a message from a feeder who only wanted to feed someone. I told him I was a muscular domme feeder and wasn't interested. Still, he persisted.

I did scare him off by telling him he was cute and would look even cuter on my strap. So there's that.

Feeding - especially online feeding - is an art. And if you want to do it well, you have to get to know the other person on some level.

Myusername4fantasyfeeder:
I take your point, but the point of being a feeder is to feed. Things like "online" or "encouraging" or "talking about it" are marginalia, and I get the impression for people on FF that the marginalia has taken over to the detriment of actual feeding

Soldiers fight. Pilots fly. Jugglers juggle. Runners run. Somebody calling themselves a feeder has to feed.

PolyPinoyPuppy:
No one person can be boiled down to a single label like that--at least not one who is well-rounded. I call my self a feeder. I also call myself a nerd. I'll talk about either with someone who shows interest in one or the other; I'd feel incredibly lucky to talk to someone who was both.

People have different priorities. Maybe feederism is the only goal; maybe it's just a small part of who they are. I take the position that assuming someone is the former is asking for trouble. At best you pidgeonhole your relationship before it's gotten started. At worst you lose someone's interest because you've presented yourself as a sex drive with legs.

But of course, maybe you know better than me; I'm new to this, after all. But to me, there's a difference between feederism as a kink and fetishizing people for their body type or habits. The former can enrich relationships. The latter is objectification that needs consent. Communication is at the core of what this thread is about. Finding out what people want before trying to provide what you think they want is critical.

PolyPinoyPuppy:
But to me, there's a difference between feederism as a kink and fetishizing people for their body type or habits. The former can enrich relationships. The latter is objectification that needs consent.


Communication is at the core of what this thread is about.


Finding out what people want before trying to provide what you think they want is critical.

Myusername4fantasyfeeder:
Quick check: have you ever actually fed anybody ever? And not just like somebody who was ill, but somebody in an explicit "I am a feeder and I am going to feed you" way.

Myusername4fantasyfeeder:
Quick check: have you ever actually fed anybody ever? And not just like somebody who was ill, but somebody in an explicit "I am a feeder and I am going to feed you" way.

PolyPinoyPuppy:
No. You?

EDIT: I visited your profile and maybe the better question is if you have insight to share from a feeder/feedee relationship, regardless of which side of that you fell on, which you believe needs practical experience to truly understand. I'll readily admit that I have gaps in my knowledge and shortcomings of experience. Part of why I'm here is to learn.

Munchies:
I've read a lot of your posts. You seem like a really sweet guy. Just focus on what works for you. Feedism looks different for everyone. And it's really dumb to say someone isn't a feeder if they've never fed anyone. It's like saying you can't be "insert sexuality here" if you're a virgin.