General

Girls just aren’t into fat guys. even on a fat fetish site like this

I’m just a man who enjoys being fat tbh I don’t expect much from people on the internet never have never will, if we bond over a love of fatness cool I see it no differently than any of my other hobbies.
2 years

Girls just aren’t into fat guys. even on a fat fetish site like this

Fatpeter:
What I was getting at was more of an observation really. I’m not just talking about myself. There are heaps of guys on here, you only have to look at there pics, posts etc and see how few views or comments they get, or how few followers they have. For women on the other hand it is completely different generally speaking. But I guess that’s pretty normal really? Not just in the fat community. I think I may of just answered my own dumb question🤦‍♀️


There's a fun, counterintuitive mathematical reason for the large disparity between the number of likes/engagement girls and guys get.

Let's say there are 5 people on the entire site: 4 guys and 1 girl. Each person, for whatever reason, will only give 1 Like. We'll also assume that these people are all straight.

The guys all give their Likes to the 1 girl. The girl will pick 1 guy out of the 4 to give her Like.

On average, the guys all have 0.25 Likes each. The girls, on average, have 4 Likes each.

Thus in this dating pool with an unbalanced gender distribution, the smaller population has, on average, 16 times more Likes than the other population.

If the ratio of guys to girls were different, you'd just square it to find the disparity; 2 guys to 1 girl would be 2 Likes for girls and 0.5 Likes for guys, or 4 times more likes for the girls. A gender ratio of 3:1 would result in a Like ratio of 9:1.

A quick binary search for the number of profiles girls vs guys have on this site shows about 12,000 girls' accounts and 48,000 guys' accounts. Even if we say most of those are inactive, the ratio gives us an insight into the ratio of actual, active users; namely, 4 guys to 1 girl.

So if you see that girls have more than 10 times the number of likes, comments, etc. compared to guys, this is why. It's not entirely up to standards or taste or whatever other excuse or justification some men use to be toxic. It's just math. You want to find a connection? Show that you're worth being that 1 Like out of 4.
2 years

Girls just aren’t into fat guys. even on a fat fetish site like this

CuteFarmer:
I can't speak for the OP, but there are stats here in front of everyone's face folks.
Look at how many men & women are on here (as profiles, or logged in at any time, or in the chat room at any time etc). There's a huge difference.
So of course on average it's going to be much "harder/competitive/potentially discouraging/however else you want to define it" for men on here.
This means ladies have much more choice, so on average they have it far less "hard/competitive/potentially discouraging/however else you want to define it"
If I was in a 'lower numbers' population that was in demand, I'd be grateful. Would I want to admit it gave me an advantage? I hope so. Would I be angry if someone pointed out this gave me a distinct advantage? I hope not.

And yes I know there are other preferences and identities (non-cis/TG etc, some of whom I'm really into myself). But even after that, the stats show a massive disadvantage for almost all types of men.

Have your opinions, but be real folks.

Many of us are queueing for a nearly empty store. Some of you get free home delivery


No one is saying women don't have the advantage of a larger pool to choose from (though more doesn't always mean better). I suspect you'd find the same thing happening across all dating sites and apps.

Your metaphor, however is quite unfair.

(1) People aren't products on a shelf or to be delivered. Relationships aren't transactional. There's no set of actions or price anyone can pay that will guarantee a real connection.

(2) Some people, rather than having free home delivery, face annoying door-to-door salesmen or worse. I'm sure I don't need to elaborate.

Besides, the point of this conversation shouldn't be "girls have it so much better." It's, "what can fat guys do to stand out in a sea of other fat guys." Nothing changes from bemoaning the numbers. Life's unfair. But there are worse cards to have been dealt than "dating is hard."
2 years

Girls just aren’t into fat guys. even on a fat fetish site like this

CuteFarmer:
I can't speak for the OP, but there are stats here in front of everyone's face folks.
Look at how many men & women are on here (as profiles, or logged in at any time, or in the chat room at any time etc). There's a huge difference.
So of course on average it's going to be much "harder/competitive/potentially discouraging/however else you want to define it" for men on here.
This means ladies have much more choice, so on average they have it far less "hard/competitive/potentially discouraging/however else you want to define it"
If I was in a 'lower numbers' population that was in demand, I'd be grateful. Would I want to admit it gave me an advantage? I hope so. Would I be angry if someone pointed out this gave me a distinct advantage? I hope not.

And yes I know there are other preferences and identities (non-cis/TG etc, some of whom I'm really into myself). But even after that, the stats show a massive disadvantage for almost all types of men.

Have your opinions, but be real folks.

Many of us are queueing for a nearly empty store. Some of you get free home delivery


Wouldn't say it gives me an advantage. More like a different set of problems.

The issue is one of quality over quantity for most women on this site. I've encountered a lot of women on this site bemoaning a dearth of decent men on FF. I am not talking about personal preferences. I am more so talking about men that come across as creepy, toxic, or dangerous.

I adore fat men. And while I'm not looking for a relationship, I love talking kink or even helping people with their weight gain journey. Still, I come across scores of men who do not understand consent, do not respect me as a person, are manipulative, or just plain toxic.

Thanks to my experiences, I'm a dab hand in dealing with these people. But I have seen them run off other women on this site before. Others have gone so far as to stop interacting with men on FF completely.

So, no. There's a lot more to it than a simple numbers game.
2 years

Girls just aren’t into fat guys. even on a fat fetish site like this

CuteFarmer:
No dating site has a massive gender imbalance like this.

Telling men the solution to overcompetition is to compete harder, is only going to worsen the situation for other men. It's like telling poor people to improve their situation by taking money off other poor people, making them poorer. There's no net gain.

Re-read the comments sent to the OP. Some of them don't accept that there's advantage for females on here. There is.

Everyone on here should behave, male and female.
But the stats make it much harder for men on here. Just be real


Do you remember when you messaged me and asked my advice on how to get women on this site? Do you remember what I told you?

Have you done any of it? Nothing I told you to do was hard.
2 years

Girls just aren’t into fat guys. even on a fat fetish site like this

CuteFarmer:
I can't speak for the OP, but there are stats here in front of everyone's face folks.
Look at how many men & women are on here (as profiles, or logged in at any time, or in the chat room at any time etc). There's a huge difference.
So of course on average it's going to be much "harder/competitive/potentially discouraging/however else you want to define it" for men on here.
This means ladies have much more choice, so on average they have it far less "hard/competitive/potentially discouraging/however else you want to define it"
If I was in a 'lower numbers' population that was in demand, I'd be grateful. Would I want to admit it gave me an advantage? I hope so. Would I be angry if someone pointed out this gave me a distinct advantage? I hope not.

And yes I know there are other preferences and identities (non-cis/TG etc, some of whom I'm really into myself). But even after that, the stats show a massive disadvantage for almost all types of men.

Have your opinions, but be real folks.

Many of us are queueing for a nearly empty store. Some of you get free home delivery

Munchies:
Wouldn't say it gives me an advantage. More like a different set of problems.

The issue is one of quality over quantity for most women on this site. I've encountered a lot of women on this site bemoaning a dearth of decent men on FF. I am not talking about personal preferences. I am more so talking about men that come across as creepy, toxic, or dangerous.

I adore fat men. And while I'm not looking for a relationship, I love talking kink or even helping people with their weight gain journey. Still, I come across scores of men who do not understand consent, do not respect me as a person, are manipulative, or just plain toxic.

Thanks to my experiences, I'm a dab hand in dealing with these people. But I have seen them run off other women on this site before. Others have gone so far as to stop interacting with men on FF completely.

So, no. There's a lot more to it than a simple numbers game.

CuteFarmer:
You are saying there is an imbalance in which gender behaves more poorly on FF?


I would like to preface some things to make sure you understand what I am saying.

I am not saying that all men are bad. I am not saying that all women are saints. People are people.

All I am saying is that there are a *lot* of toxic, and even abusive men on this site. Talk to someone the women (and even the men) on this site. There are horror stories for days.
2 years

Girls just aren’t into fat guys. even on a fat fetish site like this

Fatpeter:
What I was getting at was more of an observation really. I’m not just talking about myself. There are heaps of guys on here, you only have to look at there pics, posts etc and see how few views or comments they get, or how few followers they have. For women on the other hand it is completely different generally speaking. But I guess that’s pretty normal really? Not just in the fat community. I think I may of just answered my own dumb question🤦‍♀️

PolyPinoyPuppy:
There's a fun, counterintuitive mathematical reason for the large disparity between the number of likes/engagement girls and guys get.

Let's say there are 5 people on the entire site: 4 guys and 1 girl. Each person, for whatever reason, will only give 1 Like. We'll also assume that these people are all straight.

The guys all give their Likes to the 1 girl. The girl will pick 1 guy out of the 4 to give her Like.

On average, the guys all have 0.25 Likes each. The girls, on average, have 4 Likes each.

Thus in this dating pool with an unbalanced gender distribution, the smaller population has, on average, 16 times more Likes than the other population.

If the ratio of guys to girls were different, you'd just square it to find the disparity; 2 guys to 1 girl would be 2 Likes for girls and 0.5 Likes for guys, or 4 times more likes for the girls. A gender ratio of 3:1 would result in a Like ratio of 9:1.

A quick binary search for the number of profiles girls vs guys have on this site shows about 12,000 girls' accounts and 48,000 guys' accounts. Even if we say most of those are inactive, the ratio gives us an insight into the ratio of actual, active users; namely, 4 guys to 1 girl.

So if you see that girls have more than 10 times the number of likes, comments, etc. compared to guys, this is why. It's not entirely up to standards or taste or whatever other excuse or justification some men use to be toxic. It's just math. You want to find a connection? Show that you're worth being that 1 Like out of 4.

CuteFarmer:
The registered users might be 1:4 as you say, I don't know. But at any given time, the ratio of female to males online is well past 10:1. Anyone can just check in and see that on the profile page. Be real.
If the stats showed an competitive disadvantage to women, would you be trying to explain it away?


Mm, not gonna lie, this reads as you being upset that women aren't throwing themselves at you.

Of course, I may be wrong.
2 years

Girls just aren’t into fat guys. even on a fat fetish site like this

I've met a number of women IRL who were attracted specifically to fat men. Attend a size-positive event and there's a good chance that you'll meet some of them.
2 years

Girls just aren’t into fat guys. even on a fat fetish site like this

The thing about this whole take is that it's such a surface level read. It doesn't take into account:

Gay men (often not labeled on the profile)
Ace men (often not labeled on the profile)
Men already in relationship and not looking for someone
Men not in relations and not looking to be in one
Men who purposefully mislabeled themselves for privacy reasons
Men who are too lazy to put their gender in their bio
Transmen who are under the ambiguous "transgender" or "no gender" labels

This also ignores any kind of preference the guy might have like the woman's religion, ethnicity, race, appearance, kinks, personality, hobbies, distance, age, whether or not she has kids (or wants kids), etc. You know, the usual stuff.

So, it's not as simple as some people in this thread are making it out to be.
2 years

Girls just aren’t into fat guys. even on a fat fetish site like this

Munchies:
So, it's not as simple as some people in this thread are making it out to be.


To be honest, the read I get is a very bitter man who is upset at not having a partner and so wants to make it this "well, it can't be my fault or just how it is, it's women's fault!!". Like, how is it a sane take to write such a silly misogynist idea on a fat fetish website? It just kinda seems like a super incel perspective.
2 years
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