FriendlyLurker:
The thing with women is we might get a lot of matches, but they're not all quality matches. So we can have tons of matches but still feel just as frustrated as men with few because most of them will be men casting a wide net instead of being genuinely interested in us as people.
Nycfa:
I would tend to agree, but, if I were to reply from a guy’s perspective, I would have to say that it’s hard for us to understand. More specifically, when a girl goes out, there will often be more than one guy trying to flirt with her over the course of an evening, regardless of the setting/venue. On the flip side, there are very few guys who will ever go out and find one girl, let alone more than one, who will initiate flirting. So, I think (if only my opinion) that one gender does not relate to the other on this level. When someone is always being flirted up (often a girl) it’s easier to be choosier. To that end, a guy may often think that he’s got to come up with something very quickly to impress, or, he will not have another chance.
As I write this, I realize that such behavior may make us (guys) look like idiots or desperate, but that’s not always the case. It may just be that we have been conditioned to believe that a girl won’t see the real person in us if we dont have some “game” right from the beginning
Kind of a messed up situation, no?
What you are describing is patriarchy and hegemonic masculinity. Within this social framework, the men are in charge, and the women are delicate prizes to be won.
In this dehumanizing system, men have to be something they are not in hopes to achieve success, and women are objects.
I do not say this to say that men are evil oppressors bent on subjegating women. Both men and women participate in upholding patriarchy all the time. Rather, I say this to provide clarity on the social constructs that most of us live in.
