Fat experiences

Sometimes I think about getting into shape. I should probably lose some weight so I can get top surgery, but then I tell myself that I just need to find a surgeon that is willing to operate on someone with a bmi of 44. I know there are some surgeons that will, and then I think about just saving up to see one of the surgeons that can operate on a big guy like me and go back to gaining.

I flip flop every now and then. Ultimately my desire to get fatter wins out but I think the best place for me would be strong fat/ sumo build.

Eat as much as I want but still able to but have a healthy layer of muscle underneath