General

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

Morbidly A Beast:
Maybe he’s concerned or thinks you’ve gained to much already? Sorry you’re being put through this hopefully it will resolve in your favor in the end


I think maybe that's a factor to it, and thank you 😌
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

Munchies:
What would he do if you got fat but didn't have a fat fetish?

I never understood people that get bent out of shape over their partner's size. So long as you are healthy and it's not causing any harm, it's dumb for him to be upset about it. This goes for weight loss and weight gain.

My question is, why does he have a problem with your size?

Miachu:
I don't get it either, imo you should love someone for what they are on the inside, not the out

And i spoke with him about it earlier. I didn't go well, ended up becoming a argument. He told me he doesn't know how to feel with the prospect of just watching me continue to get fatter and fatter, And doesn't know if he's finding me physically attractive atm or in the future, depending on who knows how Fat I get. It kinda hurt hearing him say that tbh. He said to me he doesn't just wanna sit there and watch me balloon, and how he misses the old me (Health and fitness obsessed me)


From where I sit, this sounds extremely toxic and controlling of him. Again, taking the fetish aspect out of it, it sounds like he's being extremely fatphobic. He's got some personal maturing to do, and I don't think you can help him with that.

Unfortunately, it seems you will have to make a choice. Will you lose weight to keep your boyfriend happy? Or will you keep gaining even if that means breaking up?
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

Munchies:
From where I sit, this sounds extremely toxic and controlling of him. Again, taking the fetish aspect out of it, it sounds like he's being extremely fatphobic. He's got some personal maturing to do, and I don't think you can help him with that.

Unfortunately, it seems you will have to make a choice. Will you lose weight to keep your boyfriend happy? Or will you keep gaining even if that means breaking up?


I all honesty I'm a bit surprised with all this. he's never been like this before, and when I first told him about my fetish he said he was cool with it, because he likes me for me... But clearly somethings changed.

like i don't want to loose weight, I'm the happiest I've ever been since deciding to gain and let go. I've been in this boat before with the possibility of a break up, this being my 3rd rodeo... but this time o thought it would be different than the other 2. I guess I'm just doomed for failed relationship's.... I'm gonna give him some time to think. kinda ended on a sour note earlier with me hanging up.

But your right, I'll need to make a choice soon
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

Munchies:
From where I sit, this sounds extremely toxic and controlling of him. Again, taking the fetish aspect out of it, it sounds like he's being extremely fatphobic. He's got some personal maturing to do, and I don't think you can help him with that.

Unfortunately, it seems you will have to make a choice. Will you lose weight to keep your boyfriend happy? Or will you keep gaining even if that means breaking up?

Miachu:
I all honesty I'm a bit surprised with all this. he's never been like this before, and when I first told him about my fetish he said he was cool with it, because he likes me for me... But clearly somethings changed.

like i don't want to loose weight, I'm the happiest I've ever been since deciding to gain and let go. I've been in this boat before with the possibility of a break up, this being my 3rd rodeo... but this time o thought it would be different than the other 2. I guess I'm just doomed for failed relationship's.... I'm gonna give him some time to think. kinda ended on a sour note earlier with me hanging up.

But your right, I'll need to make a choice soon


He probably meant what he said at the time. But either he didn't expect to lose attraction to you or he didn't appreciate how big you were going to get. It's absolutely tragic, and you deserve better.

I have full faith that you will get to have the love you deserve - a love that doesn't depend on your size. I wish you all the best.
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

Munchies:
From where I sit, this sounds extremely toxic and controlling of him. Again, taking the fetish aspect out of it, it sounds like he's being extremely fatphobic. He's got some personal maturing to do, and I don't think you can help him with that.

Unfortunately, it seems you will have to make a choice. Will you lose weight to keep your boyfriend happy? Or will you keep gaining even if that means breaking up?

Miachu:
I all honesty I'm a bit surprised with all this. he's never been like this before, and when I first told him about my fetish he said he was cool with it, because he likes me for me... But clearly somethings changed.

like i don't want to loose weight, I'm the happiest I've ever been since deciding to gain and let go. I've been in this boat before with the possibility of a break up, this being my 3rd rodeo... but this time o thought it would be different than the other 2. I guess I'm just doomed for failed relationship's.... I'm gonna give him some time to think. kinda ended on a sour note earlier with me hanging up.

But your right, I'll need to make a choice soon

Feederboiii:
I think you may need to factor something else in, with the change to you, there's a strong possibility he's showing interest in somebody else and is trying to push tou into breaking up so he doesn't feel guilty about it.


Can't say you're right, but I can't say you're wrong either. We don't have enough information in that regard.
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

Munchies:
From where I sit, this sounds extremely toxic and controlling of him. Again, taking the fetish aspect out of it, it sounds like he's being extremely fatphobic. He's got some personal maturing to do, and I don't think you can help him with that.

Unfortunately, it seems you will have to make a choice. Will you lose weight to keep your boyfriend happy? Or will you keep gaining even if that means breaking up?

Miachu:
I all honesty I'm a bit surprised with all this. he's never been like this before, and when I first told him about my fetish he said he was cool with it, because he likes me for me... But clearly somethings changed.

like i don't want to loose weight, I'm the happiest I've ever been since deciding to gain and let go. I've been in this boat before with the possibility of a break up, this being my 3rd rodeo... but this time o thought it would be different than the other 2. I guess I'm just doomed for failed relationship's.... I'm gonna give him some time to think. kinda ended on a sour note earlier with me hanging up.

But your right, I'll need to make a choice soon

Munchies:
He probably meant what he said at the time. But either he didn't expect to lose attraction to you or he didn't appreciate how big you were going to get. It's absolutely tragic, and you deserve better.

I have full faith that you will get to have the love you deserve - a love that doesn't depend on your size. I wish you all the best.


Thank you munchies 💜
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

Feederboiii:
I think you may need to factor something else in, with the change to you, there's a strong possibility he's showing interest in somebody else and is trying to push tou into breaking up so he doesn't feel guilty about it.


i don't want to think about that possibility tbh, I've been cheated on before. I don't want it to happen again
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

Miachu,

I don't want to go through the hassle of quoting etc etc so I'll just say a couple of things:

1) I'm sorry your partner is being a fatphobic *** to you; and

2) Relationships don't fail. They end. They end when one person is ready to grow or actively changing and the other isn't. Most relationships we have in life are not permanent and they're not supposed to be. Your body changes are not the cause of the relationship's end (if that happens). It's just a sign that he may not be ready for the kind of growth that you are. And you don't deserve to be abused for doing it.
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

LoraDayton:
Miachu,

I don't want to go through the hassle of quoting etc etc so I'll just say a couple of things:

1) I'm sorry your partner is being a fatphobic *** to you; and

2) Relationships don't fail. They end. They end when one person is ready to grow or actively changing and the other isn't. Most relationships we have in life are not permanent and they're not supposed to be. Your body changes are not the cause of the relationship's end (if that happens). It's just a sign that he may not be ready for the kind of growth that you are. And you don't deserve to be abused for doing it.


Point 2 is so true and it takes a lot of maturity to reach conclusions like this wish I knew this sooner
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

Someone getting fatter in theory is different from someone getting fatter in real life - especially if it’s accompanied by differences in behavior, habits, etc (as is often the case, especially with large amounts of deliberate gaining). He probably expected this to stop earlier, or to be different somehow, or he didn’t realize how he’d feel until it happened.

You are not a bad person for having your desires. He is also not a bad person for having his reactions. If you plan on continuing to gain, and he is not on board, it’s best to amicably part (irreconcilable differences) than to drag it out.
1 year
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