Dating/Friendships

I often come off too strong too soon and scare the other person away; please help...


Letters And Numbers:
Not trying to be rude or dismissive, but maybe a fetish website is not the right place to learn how to express yourself online. Why not start with a space that’s about hobbies or something less heavy?

Estil17:
Because I do feel passionately about my eh, special interests in my profile (I don't know if "fetish" is exactly right). I already have a couple of forums I frequent for my "normal" hobbies.

Letters And Numbers:
My guess would be that trying to learn how to communicate one-on-one with people on a fetish website is doing it on hard mode. Just get used to the idea that people get cold feet and disappear off this site, or will think you’re into weird sex shit in a different way than they’re into weird sex shit and get spooked. Or that fundamentally there are people on here because they can’t have this fetish be a part of their real life and don’t want to blur those lines. The word fantasy is right in the title.

I guess my one other tip would be that you’ve made your grief (which I’m very sorry for, I can’t even imagine) the main character across half a dozen threads this morning. That’s heavy stuff, man. Posting in the forum is fun, post more often about stuff that isn’t always so heavy. You don’t need to hide your loss but it doesn’t have to be so up front. I know it’s harder around the holidays. (You can post in the Story of the Month threads whenever you like! They’re nice!)


Big facts.
1 year

I often come off too strong too soon and scare the other person away; please help...


Letters And Numbers:
My guess would be that trying to learn how to communicate one-on-one with people on a fetish website is doing it on hard mode. Just get used to the idea that people get cold feet and disappear off this site, or will think you’re into weird sex shit in a different way than they’re into weird sex shit and get spooked. Or that fundamentally there are people on here because they can’t have this fetish be a part of their real life and don’t want to blur those lines. The word fantasy is right in the title.

I guess my one other tip would be that you’ve made your grief (which I’m very sorry for, I can’t even imagine) the main character across half a dozen threads this morning. That’s heavy stuff, man. Posting in the forum is fun, post more often about stuff that isn’t always so heavy. You don’t need to hide your loss but it doesn’t have to be so up front. I know it’s harder around the holidays. (You can post in the Story of the Month threads whenever you like! They’re nice!)

Estil17:
That's another thing; when people assume I'm into sexual kinds of things when I don't even care for sex at all.


You bring up your fetish for women in puffy coats very early into convos. Of course people will assume you are talking to them to get your rocks off.

You have a niche interest within a niche interest. It's not a bad interest, but it'll be hard to find someone who has it. If you make that your front and center thing, you'll put off a lot of people.

Slow down and get to know people first. And then you can bring it up. At that point, they are more likely to be open to the idea.
1 year
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