General

Ditzy:
Just because they mark it as such doesn't mean they are looking for a feeder.
Case in point I'm not looking for anything just come here to converse with old friends.

PearLover:
... I see a lot of people who label themselves as a feeder, but when you read their profile, they describe themselves as a feedee. I don't see how that's going to help them come up in the search results for those seeking a feedee.

Canuck:
keep in mind, this isn't a dating site. how someone shows up in a search is not a concern for a lot of members, because they're not "seeking" another person. we're here for the discussion, the chat (for the chat itself), the stories, etc.

it you want to select potential partners based on a set of filters, try a dayting app like wooplus. it's how my partner found me.

PearLover:
... I see a lot of people who label themselves as a feeder, but when you read their profile, they describe themselves as a feedee. I don't see how that's going to help them come up in the search results for those seeking a feedee.

Canuck:
keep in mind, this isn't a dating site. how someone shows up in a search is not a concern for a lot of members, because they're not "seeking" another person. we're here for the discussion, the chat (for the chat itself), the stories, etc.

it you want to select potential partners based on a set of filters, try a dayting app like wooplus. it's how my partner found me.

Munchies:
I don't think that's what OP is talking about.

There's a specific user flavor on here that I come across a lot. It's not gender-specific, either. These people will put in just enough effort in their profile to fill it out partially, but then, despite being strictly feedees, not take the two seconds to update their kink from feeder (the default) to feedee.

Then, when interacting with others on the site, they get confused as to why others are treating them like a feedee.

There are a couple of reasons for this.

1. Non-native English speakers that mixed feedee and feeder up.

2. Being lazy.

The first group gets a pass, but the second?

Oy very.

Istg, they are annoying. And they always act so entitled too. Like you feeding them is a gift to mankind when you just wanted to make conversation.

Canuck:
keep in mind, this isn't a dating site. how someone shows up in a search is not a concern for a lot of members, because they're not "seeking" another person. we're here for the discussion, the chat (for the chat itself), the stories, etc.

it you want to select potential partners based on a set of filters, try a dayting app like wooplus. it's how my partner found me.

Munchies:
I don't think that's what OP is talking about.

There's a specific user flavor on here that I come across a lot. It's not gender-specific, either. These people will put in just enough effort in their profile to fill it out partially, but then, despite being strictly feedees, not take the two seconds to update their kink from feeder (the default) to feedee.

Then, when interacting with others on the site, they get confused as to why others are treating them like a feedee.

There are a couple of reasons for this.

1. Non-native English speakers that mixed feedee and feeder up.

2. Being lazy.

The first group gets a pass, but the second?

Oy very.

Istg, they are annoying. And they always act so entitled too. Like you feeding them is a gift to mankind when you just wanted to make conversation.

PearLover:
Munchies, I am in complete agreement with you. Thank you.

Canuck:
munchies, if laziness is really the biggest issue here, it could be solved just by changing the volume to "blank" or "undecided."

your comments around people learning about a community before diving head-first into it are a good observation... back when i first discovered the world of feedism, probably the late 90s, it was such a tiny online community (because most of the world was still offline at that point), this wasn't an issue because everything was so basic. there was dimensions online and maybe one or two other destinations, and the "glossary" was pretty up-front. now there are a lot of spaces with slightly different angles - ff isn't the same as curvage, which isn't the same as feabie, etc. etc... plus the plus-size, body acceptance, (etc. etc.) movements have all added layers of complexity and different lenses...

(it's not a bad thing at all, it's really blossomed in fact... but with that blossoming come opportunists, too...)

Munchies:
It's very interesting to see how terminology has changed over time.

PearLover:
Just before I started this thread, I had sent a respectful message to someone telling them that they might have better luck finding a feeder if they changed their profile to state that they were a feedee as the text of their profile clearly indicated that's what they were. And as I proceeded through my search results, I found another profile with the same issue.

I agree that there should be an option for undecided (or maybe "curious" ) and I also think that should be the default. Or maybe instead of a single selection, use check boxes because some people will be into more than one fetish. That's a design issue beyond my control.

But for those who are are looking to connect with others having a complementary fetish, you're not going to get the results you want if you mislabel yourself.

In addition to that, it would be good to put some description of yourself beyond just the basics. I have seen profiles here and elsewhere with the person explicitly saying that they don't want generic responses and not revealing anything else about themselves that could be used to open a conversation.

Maybe it is laziness. If that is the case, you should expect to get responses in kind and proportion to your efforts. That's how the universe works.

Munchies:
Personally, I wouldn't go out of my way to message people unprompted about that.

That's courting trouble.