General

Exactly it's a mutual thing it's not just one way just because one person finds it sexually attractive for somebody to be immobile doesn't mean your other party wants to do that they said they would gain but their limit was probably like three or four hundred it's always good to have boundaries the way you worded that was practically perfect

I found my girl 10 years ago when she was a hefty 230 pounder and never heard of feedism before. I never pressured her, just showed her the sexual side of eating and gaining. Four years into the relationship and she still wondered if she were a gainer so we had an open discussion and i confessed i was a feeder and she was most likely a feedee. She is over 550 lbs now and seems unstoppable. She loves the idea of sacrificing her mobility to be that massive. You might need to help a lady realize she is a feedee.

Is that the case? In my experience, most feeders want someone who is at least chubby.

Munchies:
I mean, becoming financially stable is important, but that's not nearly enough. [/quote]

Never said it was. And I agree that people often place too much importance to money.

My point is that in the absence of a feedee or feedee candidate, one thing a feeder can do is get their financial house in order, to facilitate a feedist relationship should one come along.

Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy anything.

I do love me a big man.

However, that's not why it's so hard for a lot of male feeders to find a female feedee. In fact, female feedees tell people why it's hard for them to find someone all the time.

It's because so many of them suck as people. I'm not even a feedee and I regularly encounter male feeders who clearly are typing with their left hand, are pushy, mean, objectifying, or have serial killer vibes. It's genuinely terrifying sometimes.

So if you are a genuinely good person, understand it's going to be hard no matter what you do. There are so many guarded, jaded female feedees out there who will keep you at arm's length for a while for safety reasons alone.

Munchies:
I mean, becoming financially stable is important, but that's not nearly enough.

AskDrFeeder:
Never said it was. And I agree that people often place too much importance to money.

My point is that in the absence of a feedee or feedee candidate, one thing a feeder can do is get their financial house in order, to facilitate a feedist relationship should one come along.

Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can't buy anything.[/quote]

All I'm saying is that while fixing your finances is good general advice, it's incomplete advice for novice feeders that can lead to them forming incorrect conclusions.

I see it happen all the time. Someone (usually a guy, but not always) will lament how hard it is to find a romantic and/or sexual partner. Then someone will give them advice that's not bad but is more general stuff they should be doing anyway. Common examples include saving/investing money or having basic hygiene.

This leads to the original person interpreting the advice in one of two ways. Either they see it as a way to get what they want or that they should abandon their original goal in favor of following the advice. Often, the advice giver doesn't mean it this way. But since they inadvertently framed this advice as the solution to the problem, it's understandable how someone might think this way.

I would never be tempted to become a feedee or a gainer. The eating part has absolutely no interest to me. It’s the control aspect of it, having control over someone who has let herself go to the point she’s so massive she can’t lead a normal life

Well that's concerning.

I doubt thats how it works. Speaking about me, i considered myself a feeder. It was (and still is somewhat) a big turn on to see really fat women's bellies so i was definetely one! But nontheless i kind of remember myself when i was even younger that i didnt care much about women but rather myself! I would stuff my bkanket in my clothes at night for example, but that was very early on! I dont know what made me turn into a feedee but during that period i never cared about getting fat myself! I even exercised a lot (because i like body contrast).

I think the situation is far more complex than this. I dont think we are feeders & feedees as clear roles etc, even if it appears as such. The situation seems far more chaotic. Its not like you will find what you really are if you "look deep inside". What you think you are is constantly fabricated, in a way, which is the only possible way this part of us can exist, i think.

I've met a number of men who start out as feeders before eventually becoming feedees - usually after they are unable to find a feedee of their own.

I think some of that is because they never considered getting fat as an option. Other times, it's nice to be the one doted on and catered to. Guys like princess treatment too.