Lifestyle tips

BigBootyBoy:
So recently ive been pushing more and more to put weight on and im very nervous on how to come out to my loved one and family about it. grew up super fit and have been till recently so i have no clue how i would explain to them why im putting so much weight on as a known fit person. any tips?

Munchies:
What I wanna know is why do people wanna tell their family about their kinks?

Ngl, that's weird. Even if you were vanilla, your fam ain't wanna know what revs your engine.

Enas:
I think that, maybe, people have an inherent motivation to be honest (And it shows, but only if its not obscured by other complications).

Munchies:
Mayhaps, but it's not healthy.

Enas:
Why!? O.o

Munchies:
It's all about what's appropriate to disclose depending on your relationship with the other person.


For example, it's normal to talk about your kinks with a significant other. You would not disclose such things with your parents. At most, you might tell them you love to eat and like the way you look.

Back when I was a gainer, I never told my mom I was gaining because it made me horny. I gave other reasons like feeling too skinny, but nothing sexual. I think both of us would die of embarrassment.

Faust:
Personally while I’ve gotten comments on my weight gain, nobody has asked me about it so far. I feel like it’s a bit taboo to ask things like that typically

Munchies:
What I wanna know is why do people wanna tell their family about their kinks?

Ngl, that's weird. Even if you were vanilla, your fam ain't wanna know what revs your engine.

Morbidly A Beast:
I don’t think he wants to explain his kinks, I think he just anticipates criticism for putting on lbs cause he’s always been skinny. Obvi I’m not him so I can’t say if that’s what he means but I’ve encountered enough people who ask questions like his.

Munchies:
Makes sense, even though I don't agree with telling your parents about your sexual interests as a general statement.

I dunno, maybe I'm just built differently. When I was gaining, I just bullied my family into not talking about my body.

BigBootyBoy:
So recently ive been pushing more and more to put weight on and im very nervous on how to come out to my loved one and family about it. grew up super fit and have been till recently so i have no clue how i would explain to them why im putting so much weight on as a known fit person. any tips?

Munchies:
What I wanna know is why do people wanna tell their family about their kinks?

Ngl, that's weird. Even if you were vanilla, your fam ain't wanna know what revs your engine.

Enas:
I think that, maybe, people have an inherent motivation to be honest (And it shows, but only if its not obscured by other complications).

Munchies:
Mayhaps, but it's not healthy.

Enas:
Why!? O.o

Munchies:
It's all about what's appropriate to disclose depending on your relationship with the other person.


For example, it's normal to talk about your kinks with a significant other. You would not disclose such things with your parents. At most, you might tell them you love to eat and like the way you look.

Back when I was a gainer, I never told my mom I was gaining because it made me horny. I gave other reasons like feeling too skinny, but nothing sexual. I think both of us would die of embarrassment.

Enas:
Fair enough, in this case however wouldnt you agree that, its not honesty that is unhealthy, but the conditions in which honesty can be exercised do not enable people to be entierly honest?

For example, in ideal conditions you could have said to your mom that, its not something she should worry about but you cant tell her what exactly it is because it would be uncomfortable for you to say that to her.

What do you think?

Munchies:
Lemme put it to you this way. Do you have any plans to tell your parents that you are a death feedee who wants a super sadistic domme feeder to do whatever she wants to you? Why or why not?

Munchies:
Lemme put it to you this way. Do you have any plans to tell your parents that you are a death feedee who wants a super sadistic domme feeder to do whatever she wants to you? Why or why not?

Enas:
Interesting question! I do not.

The answer of why not is much more complicated, however! To begin, there is a layer where the answer is simply "I dont feel like it" which on one hand is a bottleneck, but at the same time is a blanket for all the different reasons and there are many! In fact i think its a mess that we cannot fully untangle. But let me put down everything i can think of.

One side of this, must have to do with the special relationship, in a typical modern family, between a child and their parents. Specifically a sort of dynamic, of control / authority / hierarchy, that exists in that relationship. Example, when a parent wants their child to become "X". There is some kind of control there, both on the material level, but also on the psychological level and i dont want to have to deal with that because it would ruin the situation (i wouldnt be able to be horny with my feeder girlfriend while having all this in mind, etc)

One other reason, i think, has to do clearly with appearances. For example i think i want my parents to percieve me in a specific way (on the other side of this, to not percieve me in any ways). Speaking for myself, altho it might be true for others, this might have to do with the fact that in general, in each enviroment i initially Present a specific persona (this is not something fully concious) which really depends on the enviroment itself. I might joke a lot or i might be serious. Stuff like that, so its basically how i behave. If the enviroment doesnt change... I think i would be embarasing if i were to change my behavior. This might have to do with why i dont want my parents to know that i really want this. Because it would basically be similar to me changing radically my persona, from their point of view. Its not so much, or only that what i want (a super sadistic feeder to do whatever she wants to me) is somehow embarasing (which it is) in this mechanism, but instead the significant part is the radical change of appearance.

Last thing i can think of is that what i want is something, that i think is... Humiliating? Even tho i like it for that too, i still feel a bit uncomfortable to say this to others. However this reason does not apply to parents specifically.

And by the way, when i was a feeder, i did share with an irl friend of mine that im into really fat girls, i even explained that some of those are death feedees. Yet i would never say this to my parents! Also... I havent told that friend that now im a feedee either. But i had shared it with an other friend. Still would never say it to my parents!

You can see that the 2 first have strictly to do with the relationship between me and my parents.

What do you think?

Shadowmike:
You need a break from this site lol.

Munchies:
If you can come up with all these reasons why it's inappropriate to talk about your sexual fetishes with your parents and still ask why someone finds talking about sexual fetishes with their parents, I worry about you.

Munchies:
If you can come up with all these reasons why it's inappropriate to talk about your sexual fetishes with your parents and still ask why someone finds talking about sexual fetishes with their parents, I worry about you.

Enas:
Well, you had used the word unhealthy to describe what i described as inherent honesty.

I disagree, i think honesty is healthy for a community and its individuals, in general. And thats why i had asked why.

The reasons that i gave are still valid, but they dont at all have to do with honesty itself or the honest person, but, as i said for the first two, they exist in the very specific context of our sick society. In other words, the reason that telling your parents about this is not a good idea, even if you feel the need to, is because society is so bad it wont even allow you that!

I hope that made sense?