General

Better yet it’s like walking up to a tall person and being like “you’re tall how tall are you” only fatness has stigmas

Some people have a numbers kink with this fetish. They love knowing how many pounds you weigh and how many inches you are around.

That said, it's a super intimate thing that requires enthusiastic consent.

When I was actively fattening up my partner, we'd talk about these things all the time. It was a fun little benchmark thing. Now that we aren't doing that currently he has no desire to partake in that. In fact, he actively despises talking about it.

So I being the good partner that I am respect his boundary and don't ask or comment on it. Sometimes he volunteers the information, but I let him do it on his own terms.

Beloved, the silent social pact between people is a boundary. You know why women don't want to talk about such things. You admitted as such yourself. Therefore, talking about it without expressed permission from that person it crossing a boundary.

It's like if I decided to ask you about your finances. Unless we have a relationship where it's appropriate to discuss such things, it's terribly rude and invasive. As such, there's a silent social pact not to do that.

I appreciate the honest advice btw everyone it was actually really nice to check back in and read some really well thought out responses and reading some of them really did change my perspective on it a little bit so I'm thankful for that.

I get that! Im only saying that it isnt rational (nothing about our society is particularly rational to be fair)

Beloved, your definition of rational is Vulcan. You view emotion as something apart from logic when, in truth, logic devoid of emotion is not logical at all.

Glad to help. Hope all goes well in your relationship.

I understand your fascination for the number on the scale. It does not define them or you in anyway, but you are still somehow dying to know it. I think 4 months is probably a bit soon. It takes a lot of time, trust, being comfortable with someone and often also confidence in one self to share such intimate personal details.
My first wife never told me, but she was also not comfortable with me touching here belly. My second long term girl friend was quite open about it, but she had undergone WLS recently and told me how much she weighted, how much she lost etc.
My current wife told me a few years into the relationship when she was trying to loose some weight. I don't think I had asked her before. We also did some measurements at that time. And now she tells me regularly.

Communication is important in a relationship, but I don't think you need to tell everything immediately. There is a time and place for everything. Just like her wieght might be very private for her, your kinks might be private for you. It all depends on where you are in the relatiosnhip, and how important it is for you. I was pretty clear from early on that I prefer bigger women. Later on I added that I like big bellies more than boobies.
I would love to see her at 400 lbs, but it is also pretty clear that she is not comfortable being more than about the 300 lbs she is now, and that is absolutely fine with me, so I have never brought that up.

(I dont understand what "vulcan" means in this sentense 😅)

Look, i have 2 things to say about this.

First, by what i have seen so far, i strongly disagree. Are people who dont have feelings unable to produce logical thoughts? I havent seen an example of that anywhere and i havent come across any study or research that concludes that! (If you do know any, please enlighten me!) In the contrary i have never ever seen any irational person acting, with intent, on anything other than feelings. Thats not to say that feelings cant play some part in this process, sometimes, but again i dont see anything that could suggest that what you say is true. If you do have any evidence, please show me!

Secondly, this conversation, although immensely interesting, is not really relevant to the point i was making in my previous message, because what i point at is the lack of critical thought, evident in the majority of the population, the extremely high levels of narcissistic behaviors, etc. Things that exist as a direct contradiction to rationality, whatever its definition is (except if the definition doesnt involve critical thinking, but then it wouldnt be what i would be concerned with).

I mean, we can debate about the patriarchy or respect or whatever, but the main reason I don’t ask people their age or weight is because it’s none of my business.