2 months
Looking for support
Munchies:
And this is where things went wrong. You and your wife are not communicating. You can ask for tips on how to do that, but until you two have an open, honest adult convo you are screwed.
Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
Again, have been working on that in therapy, and it's getting better which is why I know how she feels now and she knows why I brought candy, cupcakes, and donuts home all the time and why I always had the first one ready to put in her mouth. Because I am getting better at communicating and being able to have conversations that I couldn't before.
I came here looking for some kind of support. I don't know your issue with me, but please stop communicating with me if you can't say something helpful or supportive in a nice tone.
Thank you
And this is where things went wrong. You and your wife are not communicating. You can ask for tips on how to do that, but until you two have an open, honest adult convo you are screwed.
Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
Again, have been working on that in therapy, and it's getting better which is why I know how she feels now and she knows why I brought candy, cupcakes, and donuts home all the time and why I always had the first one ready to put in her mouth. Because I am getting better at communicating and being able to have conversations that I couldn't before.
I came here looking for some kind of support. I don't know your issue with me, but please stop communicating with me if you can't say something helpful or supportive in a nice tone.
Thank you
I am not being mean to you. I'm being blunt as hell, but this is far removed from me being mean to you.
Ask the others. They've seen me being mean before.
But I said what I said. It's nice that y'all have talked about why you feed her, but you haven't talked about your shares concerns with her body. You yourself have said as such.
I am in a long-term D/S relationship with my feedee. We have no secrets from each other. We might take some time to sort our thoughts out, but we talk about everything with each other in an open, honest, non-confrontational way. Good, bad, and ugly - this includes issues we have that aren't the other's fault.
Look fam. I have seen my fair share of relationships. I know what works and what doesn't. And I have seen tons of relationships just like yours come through here all the time. So I say with confidence that the only way to handle your specific situation is to have an open, honest conversation with your wife, respect her boundaries, and talk to your therapist to help guide you through.
If you do anything else, it leads to break downs in the relationship. I've seen growing resentment, mental break downs, relationships becoming toxic or outright ending, and a lot of other things.
2 months
Looking for support
It's understandable to be concerned when your partner wants to lose weight, especially if there's a feederism aspect in your relationship, whether acknowledged by your partner or not. Your concern might not just be about the weight loss itself but about how it could change the dynamic of your relationship or affect your attraction to your partner.
It sounds very much like you care for your partner, and being in therapy talking through these issues, and working on improving your communication will definitely help with a resolution. It doesn't sound like you are with your partner for physical attraction only, and there's a lot more to your relationship, so while the worry may creep in, just remember all the things you love about her.
Do you think your partner knows that you're attracted to her size / her eating, or do you think she really does see you as a doting husband, simply bringing her snacks and such whenever requested?
Is your wife losing weight for health reasons? Or is it simply that she's not happy with her body? The choice to lose weight is obviously your partners and of course you should support her decision regardless of the reason. But knowing the reason for this seemingly sudden change will make it a lot easier for you to deal with.
How much does your partner want to lose... Going from just over 300lbs down to 260lbs which appears to be the amount of weight gained in the relationship isn't really that drastic. I actually lost around this much at a similar weight without really trying over a couple of years and I am still pretty large / larger than most people I know.
There are ways to integrate aspects of feederism into your relationship without impacting her weight loss goals. Perhaps keeping feederism within certain areas of your relationship, like in the bedroom, could provide a balanced compromise for both of you.
But don't be too hard on yourself for being freaked out by change in your relationship. Change can be scary, but I'm sure you can work it out together.
It sounds very much like you care for your partner, and being in therapy talking through these issues, and working on improving your communication will definitely help with a resolution. It doesn't sound like you are with your partner for physical attraction only, and there's a lot more to your relationship, so while the worry may creep in, just remember all the things you love about her.
Do you think your partner knows that you're attracted to her size / her eating, or do you think she really does see you as a doting husband, simply bringing her snacks and such whenever requested?
Is your wife losing weight for health reasons? Or is it simply that she's not happy with her body? The choice to lose weight is obviously your partners and of course you should support her decision regardless of the reason. But knowing the reason for this seemingly sudden change will make it a lot easier for you to deal with.
How much does your partner want to lose... Going from just over 300lbs down to 260lbs which appears to be the amount of weight gained in the relationship isn't really that drastic. I actually lost around this much at a similar weight without really trying over a couple of years and I am still pretty large / larger than most people I know.
There are ways to integrate aspects of feederism into your relationship without impacting her weight loss goals. Perhaps keeping feederism within certain areas of your relationship, like in the bedroom, could provide a balanced compromise for both of you.
But don't be too hard on yourself for being freaked out by change in your relationship. Change can be scary, but I'm sure you can work it out together.
2 months
Looking for support
Munchies:
And this is where things went wrong. You and your wife are not communicating. You can ask for tips on how to do that, but until you two have an open, honest adult convo you are screwed.
Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
Again, have been working on that in therapy, and it's getting better which is why I know how she feels now and she knows why I brought candy, cupcakes, and donuts home all the time and why I always had the first one ready to put in her mouth. Because I am getting better at communicating and being able to have conversations that I couldn't before.
I came here looking for some kind of support. I don't know your issue with me, but please stop communicating with me if you can't say something helpful or supportive in a nice tone.
Thank you
Munchies:
I am not being mean to you. I'm being blunt as hell, but this is far removed from me being mean to you.
Ask the others. They've seen me being mean before.
But I said what I said. It's nice that y'all have talked about why you feed her, but you haven't talked about your shares concerns with her body. You yourself have said as such.
I am in a long-term D/S relationship with my feedee. We have no secrets from each other. We might take some time to sort our thoughts out, but we talk about everything with each other in an open, honest, non-confrontational way. Good, bad, and ugly - this includes issues we have that aren't the other's fault.
Look fam. I have seen my fair share of relationships. I know what works and what doesn't. And I have seen tons of relationships just like yours come through here all the time. So I say with confidence that the only way to handle your specific situation is to have an open, honest conversation with your wife, respect her boundaries, and talk to your therapist to help guide you through.
If you do anything else, it leads to break downs in the relationship. I've seen growing resentment, mental break downs, relationships becoming toxic or outright ending, and a lot of other things.
And this is where things went wrong. You and your wife are not communicating. You can ask for tips on how to do that, but until you two have an open, honest adult convo you are screwed.
Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
Again, have been working on that in therapy, and it's getting better which is why I know how she feels now and she knows why I brought candy, cupcakes, and donuts home all the time and why I always had the first one ready to put in her mouth. Because I am getting better at communicating and being able to have conversations that I couldn't before.
I came here looking for some kind of support. I don't know your issue with me, but please stop communicating with me if you can't say something helpful or supportive in a nice tone.
Thank you
Munchies:
I am not being mean to you. I'm being blunt as hell, but this is far removed from me being mean to you.
Ask the others. They've seen me being mean before.
But I said what I said. It's nice that y'all have talked about why you feed her, but you haven't talked about your shares concerns with her body. You yourself have said as such.
I am in a long-term D/S relationship with my feedee. We have no secrets from each other. We might take some time to sort our thoughts out, but we talk about everything with each other in an open, honest, non-confrontational way. Good, bad, and ugly - this includes issues we have that aren't the other's fault.
Look fam. I have seen my fair share of relationships. I know what works and what doesn't. And I have seen tons of relationships just like yours come through here all the time. So I say with confidence that the only way to handle your specific situation is to have an open, honest conversation with your wife, respect her boundaries, and talk to your therapist to help guide you through.
If you do anything else, it leads to break downs in the relationship. I've seen growing resentment, mental break downs, relationships becoming toxic or outright ending, and a lot of other things.
You tell me to go to therapy, I am.
You tell me to communicate with my wife, I am and I'm getting better at.
You tell me I haven't communicated my concerns with her, after I spent a cuddly evening with her a couple days ago telling her everything I liked about her body and telling her what I'd miss while my head was laying on her bare belly, something you would have no way of knowing.
I'm heading out to get dinner right now but we were both giggling 10 min ago as I suggested I could just feed her Skittles and cupcakes, but I'd need to run to the store for the cupcakes. It's going to be 2 grilled chicken tacos btw.
You are talking at me like you know me. You don't. I don't know where this is going to end up and I am probably going to have a range of emotions as things change, and it could be a while.
I was hoping to connect with people that might better understand what this feels like, but I'm already bogged down in this.
Please, begging you... Something to help me stay calm and feel sane or stop communicating with me. I'm stressed enough already without having to make my case to you.
2 months
Looking for support
Munchies:
I am not being mean to you. I'm being blunt as hell, but this is far removed from me being mean to you.
Ask the others. They've seen me being mean before.
But I said what I said. It's nice that y'all have talked about why you feed her, but you haven't talked about your shares concerns with her body. You yourself have said as such.
I am in a long-term D/S relationship with my feedee. We have no secrets from each other. We might take some time to sort our thoughts out, but we talk about everything with each other in an open, honest, non-confrontational way. Good, bad, and ugly - this includes issues we have that aren't the other's fault.
Look fam. I have seen my fair share of relationships. I know what works and what doesn't. And I have seen tons of relationships just like yours come through here all the time. So I say with confidence that the only way to handle your specific situation is to have an open, honest conversation with your wife, respect her boundaries, and talk to your therapist to help guide you through.
If you do anything else, it leads to break downs in the relationship. I've seen growing resentment, mental break downs, relationships becoming toxic or outright ending, and a lot of other things.
Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
You tell me to go to therapy, I am.
You tell me to communicate with my wife, I am and I'm getting better at.
You tell me I haven't communicated my concerns with her, after I spent a cuddly evening with her a couple days ago telling her everything I liked about her body and telling her what I'd miss while my head was laying on her bare belly, something you would have no way of knowing.
I'm heading out to get dinner right now but we were both giggling 10 min ago as I suggested I could just feed her Skittles and cupcakes, but I'd need to run to the store for the cupcakes. It's going to be 2 grilled chicken tacos btw.
You are talking at me like you know me. You don't. I don't know where this is going to end up and I am probably going to have a range of emotions as things change, and it could be a while.
I was hoping to connect with people that might better understand what this feels like, but I'm already bogged down in this.
Please, begging you... Something to help me stay calm and feel sane or stop communicating with me. I'm stressed enough already without having to make my case to you.
I am not being mean to you. I'm being blunt as hell, but this is far removed from me being mean to you.
Ask the others. They've seen me being mean before.
But I said what I said. It's nice that y'all have talked about why you feed her, but you haven't talked about your shares concerns with her body. You yourself have said as such.
I am in a long-term D/S relationship with my feedee. We have no secrets from each other. We might take some time to sort our thoughts out, but we talk about everything with each other in an open, honest, non-confrontational way. Good, bad, and ugly - this includes issues we have that aren't the other's fault.
Look fam. I have seen my fair share of relationships. I know what works and what doesn't. And I have seen tons of relationships just like yours come through here all the time. So I say with confidence that the only way to handle your specific situation is to have an open, honest conversation with your wife, respect her boundaries, and talk to your therapist to help guide you through.
If you do anything else, it leads to break downs in the relationship. I've seen growing resentment, mental break downs, relationships becoming toxic or outright ending, and a lot of other things.
Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
You tell me to go to therapy, I am.
You tell me to communicate with my wife, I am and I'm getting better at.
You tell me I haven't communicated my concerns with her, after I spent a cuddly evening with her a couple days ago telling her everything I liked about her body and telling her what I'd miss while my head was laying on her bare belly, something you would have no way of knowing.
I'm heading out to get dinner right now but we were both giggling 10 min ago as I suggested I could just feed her Skittles and cupcakes, but I'd need to run to the store for the cupcakes. It's going to be 2 grilled chicken tacos btw.
You are talking at me like you know me. You don't. I don't know where this is going to end up and I am probably going to have a range of emotions as things change, and it could be a while.
I was hoping to connect with people that might better understand what this feels like, but I'm already bogged down in this.
Please, begging you... Something to help me stay calm and feel sane or stop communicating with me. I'm stressed enough already without having to make my case to you.
You told her you like her body. Did you tell her what you told us in your initial post? About you feeling conflicted? Because I am not seeing where you said that to her.
This is the crux of the issue. She knows what you love about her body. She knows you'll miss some things about her body if she drops the weight. This is not the same as you two talking about your conflict's breadth.
There's a way to handle it that is specific to your relationship. This is where your therapist comes into play.
Also, you don't get to complain about people telling you things based on information you didn't tell them. That's on you.
I'm telling you the magic formula to deal with this. It works 100% of the time. You don't want to listen because you are taking everything as a personal attack.
It is not.
2 months
Looking for support
C00kie:
It's understandable to be concerned when your partner wants to lose weight, especially if there's a feederism aspect in your relationship, whether acknowledged by your partner or not. Your concern might not just be about the weight loss itself but about how it could change the dynamic of your relationship or affect your attraction to your partner.
It sounds very much like you care for your partner, and being in therapy talking through these issues, and working on improving your communication will definitely help with a resolution. It doesn't sound like you are with your partner for physical attraction only, and there's a lot more to your relationship, so while the worry may creep in, just remember all the things you love about her.
Do you think your partner knows that you're attracted to her size / her eating, or do you think she really does see you as a doting husband, simply bringing her snacks and such whenever requested?
Is your wife losing weight for health reasons? Or is it simply that she's not happy with her body? The choice to lose weight is obviously your partners and of course you should support her decision regardless of the reason. But knowing the reason for this seemingly sudden change will make it a lot easier for you to deal with.
How much does your partner want to lose... Going from just over 300lbs down to 260lbs which appears to be the amount of weight gained in the relationship isn't really that drastic. I actually lost around this much at a similar weight without really trying over a couple of years and I am still pretty large / larger than most people I know.
There are ways to integrate aspects of feederism into your relationship without impacting her weight loss goals. Perhaps keeping feederism within certain areas of your relationship, like in the bedroom, could provide a balanced compromise for both of you.
But don't be too hard on yourself for being freaked out by change in your relationship. Change can be scary, but I'm sure you can work it out together.
It's understandable to be concerned when your partner wants to lose weight, especially if there's a feederism aspect in your relationship, whether acknowledged by your partner or not. Your concern might not just be about the weight loss itself but about how it could change the dynamic of your relationship or affect your attraction to your partner.
It sounds very much like you care for your partner, and being in therapy talking through these issues, and working on improving your communication will definitely help with a resolution. It doesn't sound like you are with your partner for physical attraction only, and there's a lot more to your relationship, so while the worry may creep in, just remember all the things you love about her.
Do you think your partner knows that you're attracted to her size / her eating, or do you think she really does see you as a doting husband, simply bringing her snacks and such whenever requested?
Is your wife losing weight for health reasons? Or is it simply that she's not happy with her body? The choice to lose weight is obviously your partners and of course you should support her decision regardless of the reason. But knowing the reason for this seemingly sudden change will make it a lot easier for you to deal with.
How much does your partner want to lose... Going from just over 300lbs down to 260lbs which appears to be the amount of weight gained in the relationship isn't really that drastic. I actually lost around this much at a similar weight without really trying over a couple of years and I am still pretty large / larger than most people I know.
There are ways to integrate aspects of feederism into your relationship without impacting her weight loss goals. Perhaps keeping feederism within certain areas of your relationship, like in the bedroom, could provide a balanced compromise for both of you.
But don't be too hard on yourself for being freaked out by change in your relationship. Change can be scary, but I'm sure you can work it out together.
Thank you for this. I have to get dinner home right now but I will read this again later and answer your questions (unless they were strictly rhetorical, but I'm not sure).
2 months
Looking for support
Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
Thank you for this. I have to get dinner home right now but I will read this again later and answer your questions (unless they were strictly rhetorical, but I'm not sure).
Thank you for this. I have to get dinner home right now but I will read this again later and answer your questions (unless they were strictly rhetorical, but I'm not sure).
The questions were intended as rhetorical prompts to help you reflect on certain topics and potentially discuss them with your partner. However, if you believe addressing them here could lead to a more meaningful discussion and help you further, feel free to share your thoughts. Of course I don't want to intrude, as I understand some of this may be quite personal. So up to you really!
2 months
Looking for support
Munchies:
I am not being mean to you. I'm being blunt as hell, but this is far removed from me being mean to you.
Ask the others. They've seen me being mean before.
But I said what I said. It's nice that y'all have talked about why you feed her, but you haven't talked about your shares concerns with her body. You yourself have said as such.
I am in a long-term D/S relationship with my feedee. We have no secrets from each other. We might take some time to sort our thoughts out, but we talk about everything with each other in an open, honest, non-confrontational way. Good, bad, and ugly - this includes issues we have that aren't the other's fault.
Look fam. I have seen my fair share of relationships. I know what works and what doesn't. And I have seen tons of relationships just like yours come through here all the time. So I say with confidence that the only way to handle your specific situation is to have an open, honest conversation with your wife, respect her boundaries, and talk to your therapist to help guide you through.
If you do anything else, it leads to break downs in the relationship. I've seen growing resentment, mental break downs, relationships becoming toxic or outright ending, and a lot of other things.
Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
You tell me to go to therapy, I am.
You tell me to communicate with my wife, I am and I'm getting better at.
You tell me I haven't communicated my concerns with her, after I spent a cuddly evening with her a couple days ago telling her everything I liked about her body and telling her what I'd miss while my head was laying on her bare belly, something you would have no way of knowing.
I'm heading out to get dinner right now but we were both giggling 10 min ago as I suggested I could just feed her Skittles and cupcakes, but I'd need to run to the store for the cupcakes. It's going to be 2 grilled chicken tacos btw.
You are talking at me like you know me. You don't. I don't know where this is going to end up and I am probably going to have a range of emotions as things change, and it could be a while.
I was hoping to connect with people that might better understand what this feels like, but I'm already bogged down in this.
Please, begging you... Something to help me stay calm and feel sane or stop communicating with me. I'm stressed enough already without having to make my case to you.
Munchies:
You told her you like her body. Did you tell her what you told us in your initial post? About you feeling conflicted? Because I am not seeing where you said that to her.
This is the crux of the issue. She knows what you love about her body. She knows you'll miss some things about her body if she drops the weight. This is not the same as you two talking about your conflict's breadth.
There's a way to handle it that is specific to your relationship. This is where your therapist comes into play.
Also, you don't get to complain about people telling you things based on information you didn't tell them. That's on you.
I'm telling you the magic formula to deal with this. It works 100% of the time. You don't want to listen because you are taking everything as a personal attack.
It is not.
I am not being mean to you. I'm being blunt as hell, but this is far removed from me being mean to you.
Ask the others. They've seen me being mean before.
But I said what I said. It's nice that y'all have talked about why you feed her, but you haven't talked about your shares concerns with her body. You yourself have said as such.
I am in a long-term D/S relationship with my feedee. We have no secrets from each other. We might take some time to sort our thoughts out, but we talk about everything with each other in an open, honest, non-confrontational way. Good, bad, and ugly - this includes issues we have that aren't the other's fault.
Look fam. I have seen my fair share of relationships. I know what works and what doesn't. And I have seen tons of relationships just like yours come through here all the time. So I say with confidence that the only way to handle your specific situation is to have an open, honest conversation with your wife, respect her boundaries, and talk to your therapist to help guide you through.
If you do anything else, it leads to break downs in the relationship. I've seen growing resentment, mental break downs, relationships becoming toxic or outright ending, and a lot of other things.
Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
You tell me to go to therapy, I am.
You tell me to communicate with my wife, I am and I'm getting better at.
You tell me I haven't communicated my concerns with her, after I spent a cuddly evening with her a couple days ago telling her everything I liked about her body and telling her what I'd miss while my head was laying on her bare belly, something you would have no way of knowing.
I'm heading out to get dinner right now but we were both giggling 10 min ago as I suggested I could just feed her Skittles and cupcakes, but I'd need to run to the store for the cupcakes. It's going to be 2 grilled chicken tacos btw.
You are talking at me like you know me. You don't. I don't know where this is going to end up and I am probably going to have a range of emotions as things change, and it could be a while.
I was hoping to connect with people that might better understand what this feels like, but I'm already bogged down in this.
Please, begging you... Something to help me stay calm and feel sane or stop communicating with me. I'm stressed enough already without having to make my case to you.
Munchies:
You told her you like her body. Did you tell her what you told us in your initial post? About you feeling conflicted? Because I am not seeing where you said that to her.
This is the crux of the issue. She knows what you love about her body. She knows you'll miss some things about her body if she drops the weight. This is not the same as you two talking about your conflict's breadth.
There's a way to handle it that is specific to your relationship. This is where your therapist comes into play.
Also, you don't get to complain about people telling you things based on information you didn't tell them. That's on you.
I'm telling you the magic formula to deal with this. It works 100% of the time. You don't want to listen because you are taking everything as a personal attack.
It is not.
Look, I didn't want to pen a dissertation on my my entire life just to satisfy your curiosity when all I expressed was:
1. This is what I'm looking for
2. This is the general situation
3. Is there a place here to talk about that
And you keep berating me, being callous and condescending, and making me justify being here. Just tell me to leave if you want. I didn't want to block someone in my first 24 hours here but I'm considering it. To be blunt, as you put it, you don't appear to have the people skills to do what you are trying to do. Please stop pestering me.
Thank you
2 months
Looking for support
Nate Loves His BBW Wife:
Thank you for this. I have to get dinner home right now but I will read this again later and answer your questions (unless they were strictly rhetorical, but I'm not sure).
C00kie:
The questions were intended as rhetorical prompts to help you reflect on certain topics and potentially discuss them with your partner. However, if you believe addressing them here could lead to a more meaningful discussion and help you further, feel free to share your thoughts. Of course I don't want to intrude, as I understand some of this may be quite personal. So up to you really!
Thank you for this. I have to get dinner home right now but I will read this again later and answer your questions (unless they were strictly rhetorical, but I'm not sure).
C00kie:
The questions were intended as rhetorical prompts to help you reflect on certain topics and potentially discuss them with your partner. However, if you believe addressing them here could lead to a more meaningful discussion and help you further, feel free to share your thoughts. Of course I don't want to intrude, as I understand some of this may be quite personal. So up to you really!
I thought that could be the case. Thank you for reaching out, I will read your response again tomorrow and see if it could be beneficial to talk about any answers. I'm emotionally drained right now and may not get back to you promptly. But again, thank you.
2 months
