Lifestyle tips

Why do you hate yourself?

And what do you think an evil person is?

I dont think i understand what you're saying in the first part. O.o

Did you reply in this post? Aside from this reply and the other (to which i replied to you)

Its better not to delete your comments as it would help me understand, and in that case i could help you better!

For now... Look, i have a very weird theory of things. I dont believe in peoples' (and mine) worth, etc. Its a bit hard to explain how on one hand i dont accept these ideas of, say "common wisdom" and on the other i dont suffer, like many people do.

What I most identify with is not having (... Well... Not having *enough*) friends. The limiting factor seems to be that of intelligence. To befriend someone closely, i need them to demonstrate their intelligence to me, usually through a conversation which absolutely requires that. I dont know if that helps?

You also seem to worry about a bunch of stuff that need no worry. I dont care about how rich someone is (i would worry if someone is too poor, but thats a different story), what i care about is the other person being able to exercise their critical though and so on. I dont assign some kind of morality to people based on their bank accounts or pockets! I think you once had a traumatic experience that made you uncomfortable with the idea of being presented as a rich person? (regardless if you are or not) Have you talked to a psychologist about that?

I fail to see how any of this makes you evil. If anything, these are your abusers' words in your ear.

Your dad is definetely "the bad guy", the fact he cares about his image more than your health proves it!

As for being anxious to talk, you may not necesarily need to. I dont like it either, i dont like the fact that i cant take my time to structure my thoughts properly, and craft what i want to say with more effort than im limited to in real time speech. I prefer writting. Is there such an option?

I would only advice you to prepare before hand, meaning, dont wait for the session to think about your thoughts, do that in your free time & write down stuff! Then give that to the therapists! It will be very helpfull i think!

Hun, you are spiralling. Breathe for a moment.

Do you have any coping mechanisms or ways to self soothe?

Kitsune I never suggested anything about you personally or your situation.
Claiming You were hurt by what was in my comments is a stretch so please do things like that.
All I did was relay something I went thru nothing more. It had nothing to do with you personally.
I do hope you can get your life sorted out and have a happy life.

I've seen reactions like this before. Hell, I used to be this person back when I was being actively abused.

I might be preaching to the choir here, but when you are being abused, you end up bottling up all your negative emotions and exploding them where you feel it's safe. That might be towards yourself, strangers, or friends and family you deem safe. It's a way to gain some level of control over your life.

I think you are right.
Abuse can come in different forms and none of it is good.