I was probably just a tiny bit broader built or chubbier but treated and tattled on as if I was. Then got dysphoric about being unhealthy or becoming fat before in a few panic fueled weight loss days full of guilt to try and stay close to societys norm realized, wait this sucks actually. Why am I joining in on this culty shit i am probably fine. (Mind you I didnt get much to eat) and then admitted to myself that I have a kink and could maybe gain 4 kilos gasp scandalous... dangerous. To be just a bit softer. My gain is very slow but the way I am now already is definitely better and comfier than I used to be.
3 months