Fat experiences

I get tired faster from just walking and stairs are enough to elevate my heart rate and cause a bit of heavier breathing than it did 60 pounds ago. When walking down stairs I can feel gravity pulling me down and since I’ve gained a majority of the weight somewhat quickly I can FEEL how much more weight I’ve put on.

The larger I get the more I seem to accept the added weight. When I saw my doctor recently she was shocked that I’d gained 40 pounds since I saw her the year before. I thought I’d feel embarrassed and had been dreading the visit, but instead I just explained that the medication I’m on for anxiety causes significant weight gain, it’s the only one we’ve found (after trying many) that has gotten my anxiety under control AND as a bonus has improved my sleep length/quality, and that I’m okay with being fat because it’s better than terrible, uncontrollable, awful anxiety. All true statements, I simply omitted the fact that I’m into it and have been using my medication as an excuse to get fatter. I bought junk food after my appointment and felt a little accomplished in having gained enough to surprise my doctor! Haha!!

Because I know it’ll be asked: The medication is Seroquel, it’s available by Rx only, and it’s a hardcore drug that should only be used to treat very serious psychological ailments... stick to heavy cream if you want to get fat. Possible side effects some have experienced can be brutal and this isn’t a “let’s try this first” kind of drug... more of a “well, nothing else is working, here goes nothing” kind of drug. Thankfully for me, it works!

When I used to take public transportation; I would ride the trains (especially, the elevated trains). I would get winded climbing up the stairs to get to the platform of the train. I would take the elevator or escalator to get to the platform. When I would walk past windows or mirrors, I would see my reflection on how fat that I gotten; watching my belly bounce when I walk. When I would sit down, my belly would rest on my lap; while I take up a half of a seat.

Yeah, those experiences of looking at yourself at the reflections you see feels like an out of body experience because you know that it is you in that reflection but you are just amazed at how you have let yourself go so you become both astounded and excited and you realize that you might just be fat for the rest of your life because it will be too much work to lose it.

Hottest train ride I've ever heard of.