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Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Ifmusicbe3:
Someone getting fatter in theory is different from someone getting fatter in real life - especially if it’s accompanied by differences in behavior, habits, etc (as is often the case, especially with large amounts of deliberate gaining). He probably expected this to stop earlier, or to be different somehow, or he didn’t realize how he’d feel until it happened.

You are not a bad person for having your desires. He is also not a bad person for having his reactions. If you plan on continuing to gain, and he is not on board, it’s best to amicably part (irreconcilable differences) than to drag it out.

MarieTrans:
I would argue he is being a bad person for saying hurtful things to her just for her personal desires for her own body


I agree with Marie 100%. Also, what would he do if Mia started gaining weight and didn't have a kink? Maybe she put on weight because of stress eating or got fat because of medication or an underlying health issue?

Let's not forget he is upset because she is getting fatter, and his penis isn't staying hard. She isn't trying to make him participate in her fetish. She is simply enjoying her life by getting fat.
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

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Fivv   United Kingdom
Joined 6 years
It just sounds like a pretty sad state of affairs, hopefully it works out for the best either way. I’d say ripping a band aid off is generally better than letting it fester but that’s from a place of no romantic experience and limited social experience at that so my opinion might be the equivalent of stepping on glass for all I know.
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

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Johnxyz   United States
Joined 17 years
I'm not really understanding the reactions here. If we think it is OK to have a preference for a larger figure, why is not OK to have a preference for a smaller figure? It sounds like the boyfriend did not know how fat was fat. Or maybe he just changed his mind. In any case, it would appear that the two are no longer compatible, and it is time to move on. He thinks she will change and lose weight. She thinks he should change and accept it. Thinking someone will change, is probably the biggest killer of relationships.
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

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NYCBellyBlimp   United States
Joined 3 years
Miachu:
To put a long story short

My current boyfriend has began to show his distaste towards my weight gaining. He knows I'm into this and at first said he didn't care if I gained.

But that's changed now. He's become more vocal about it and asking if I'm going to be stopping now after passing 200 pounds. With him seemingly having a distaste towards my gained weight now

I guess I'm just seeing if any one's been through something similar and some advice maybe


Everyone has their comfort zone as a Feedist/FA/FFA etc. At least he voiced it to you now at 200 vs waiting for 350+ (when it would be a lot harder to go back if you desire to).
I was strictly Feeder many years back, had ussbbw/ssbbw exes tell me not to get fat because they preferred body contrast/not attracted to fat men. Unrelated issues occurred where it didn't work out. I kept it repressed (didn't pay much attention to it) as someone dear brought it out.
Present Day, I'd rather be solo than to pretend, hide or find other things to fill the void. Hoping you can make the best decision for you, as there will be other forks in the road (regardless of the decisions made), down the line. Best of Luck.
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Johnxyz:
I'm not really understanding the reactions here. If we think it is OK to have a preference for a larger figure, why is not OK to have a preference for a smaller figure? It sounds like the boyfriend did not know how fat was fat. Or maybe he just changed his mind. In any case, it would appear that the two are no longer compatible, and it is time to move on. He thinks she will change and lose weight. She thinks he should change and accept it. Thinking someone will change, is probably the biggest killer of relationships.


It's the lack of respect as well as how shallow he's being. It's one thing to have a preference. It's quite another to be an asshole. He isn't treating her like a person. He is objectifying her.

This is the same issue as when a feeder gets mad that their feedee is losing weight. Both are bad for the same reason.
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

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Miachu   United Kingdom
Joined 3 years
just want to say a big thank you to everyone for the kind words and support

Me and my boyfriend have decided to give each other some space to reflect on how wee feel ect. I'm taking it in my stride and aren't going to get myself down about it
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Miachu:
just want to say a big thank you to everyone for the kind words and support

Me and my boyfriend have decided to give each other some space to reflect on how wee feel ect. I'm taking it in my stride and aren't going to get myself down about it


We are all rooting for you. I hope you have the best possible outcome.
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
Krayjay:
Have you thought about trying to bring him into your fetish? Find a way to make it erotic for him too? Maybe something simple like chocolates during sex, getting excited when he grabs your softer spots ect


I don't think this would help in this situation. The problem isn't so much the fetish as it is he isn't respecting her as a person. It would be one thing if he wasn't jiving with the fetish but still treated her the way she should be treated. Alas, this is not the case.
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

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Enas   Greece
Joined 3 years
To me it seems like he's in some sort of panic. There is a wide variety of possible causes. If i am to speculate, it can be anything from having a hard time at work, to downright cheating you, thus getting anxious.

I know im a little late to give advice on what to do, but maybe next time you get to talk to him, try to help him be as honest as he can and explain his feelings.

I hope for the best possible outcome to the both of you!
1 year

Boyfriend becoming hostile towards my weight gain

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Miachu   United Kingdom
Joined 3 years
Enas:
To me it seems like he's in some sort of panic. There is a wide variety of possible causes. If i am to speculate, it can be anything from having a hard time at work, to downright cheating you, thus getting anxious.

I know im a little late to give advice on what to do, but maybe next time you get to talk to him, try to help him be as honest as he can and explain his feelings.

I hope for the best possible outcome to the both of you!


I don't believe it's cheating tbh, deep down I think he's just a little lost when it comes to the relationship and accepting change. I'm the first person he's dated after all. But I do feel he also doesn't know how to handle/accept a partners sexual preferences, and in all fairness to him. Wanting to get fat is something rather strange to people outside the community
1 year
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