Lifestyle tips

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

Munchies:
If you can come up with all these reasons why it's inappropriate to talk about your sexual fetishes with your parents and still ask why someone finds talking about sexual fetishes with their parents, I worry about you.

Enas:
Well, you had used the word unhealthy to describe what i described as inherent honesty.

I disagree, i think honesty is healthy for a community and its individuals, in general. And thats why i had asked why.

The reasons that i gave are still valid, but they dont at all have to do with honesty itself or the honest person, but, as i said for the first two, they exist in the very specific context of our sick society. In other words, the reason that telling your parents about this is not a good idea, even if you feel the need to, is because society is so bad it wont even allow you that!

I hope that made sense?


I only want to feel accepted and welcomed as a fat person when it comes to friends and family i don’t need to know what gets my family members off just like I don’t need to tell them I get off to having a stuffed belly and gaining weight. There’s no essential truth being lied about it’s just not appropriate.
4 months

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

Morbidly A Beast:
I only want to feel accepted and welcomed as a fat person when it comes to friends and family i don’t need to know what gets my family members off just like I don’t need to tell them I get off to having a stuffed belly and gaining weight. There’s no essential truth being lied about it’s just not appropriate.


this 100%. in my mind, there's no difference between not talking about fat and not talking about bdsm - with my relatives or anyone else that has no business talking to me about my sex life.

that stuff should be left between you and your partner(s), or the other people in whatever community you share details of your sex life.
4 months

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

Munchies:
Lemme put it to you this way. Do you have any plans to tell your parents that you are a death feedee who wants a super sadistic domme feeder to do whatever she wants to you? Why or why not?

Enas:
Interesting question! I do not.

The answer of why not is much more complicated, however! To begin, there is a layer where the answer is simply "I dont feel like it" which on one hand is a bottleneck, but at the same time is a blanket for all the different reasons and there are many! In fact i think its a mess that we cannot fully untangle. But let me put down everything i can think of.

One side of this, must have to do with the special relationship, in a typical modern family, between a child and their parents. Specifically a sort of dynamic, of control / authority / hierarchy, that exists in that relationship. Example, when a parent wants their child to become "X". There is some kind of control there, both on the material level, but also on the psychological level and i dont want to have to deal with that because it would ruin the situation (i wouldnt be able to be horny with my feeder girlfriend while having all this in mind, etc)

One other reason, i think, has to do clearly with appearances. For example i think i want my parents to percieve me in a specific way (on the other side of this, to not percieve me in any ways). Speaking for myself, altho it might be true for others, this might have to do with the fact that in general, in each enviroment i initially Present a specific persona (this is not something fully concious) which really depends on the enviroment itself. I might joke a lot or i might be serious. Stuff like that, so its basically how i behave. If the enviroment doesnt change... I think i would be embarasing if i were to change my behavior. This might have to do with why i dont want my parents to know that i really want this. Because it would basically be similar to me changing radically my persona, from their point of view. Its not so much, or only that what i want (a super sadistic feeder to do whatever she wants to me) is somehow embarasing (which it is) in this mechanism, but instead the significant part is the radical change of appearance.

Last thing i can think of is that what i want is something, that i think is... Humiliating? Even tho i like it for that too, i still feel a bit uncomfortable to say this to others. However this reason does not apply to parents specifically.

And by the way, when i was a feeder, i did share with an irl friend of mine that im into really fat girls, i even explained that some of those are death feedees. Yet i would never say this to my parents! Also... I havent told that friend that now im a feedee either. But i had shared it with an other friend. Still would never say it to my parents!

You can see that the 2 first have strictly to do with the relationship between me and my parents.

What do you think?

Munchies:
If you can come up with all these reasons why it's inappropriate to talk about your sexual fetishes with your parents and still ask why someone finds talking about sexual fetishes with their parents, I worry about you.
couldn't have explained it better myself, its humilliating and demenaning and awful, and we love it for that, but it still is something "bad"
3 months

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

It’s important to reconginze that not all fat people are into shaming/humiliation and in cases they are it’s more than likely consensual kink play not just casual berating in public
3 months

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

I am not sure that OP was really concerned about or intending to tell his family about the kink side of his gain. I read the initial question more like being unnerved by the potential reactions of family members to a very noticeable change and one that is not “welcomed” and approved of by the “average” person or society.
I myself have experienced that on occasion. Even though I have been big most of my life and many people in my extended family are so as well, there is always some aunt or uncle or second cousin (it’s mostly the boomers) who you haven’t seen in a few years, who makes a comment about your increased girth or appetite and who often pairs it with some unsolicited dieting advice.
I honestly ignore these people most of the time and just don’t respond and start talking to someone else or about a different topic. Sometimes I have responded with a short “yup, have been eating well” and walked away.
3 months

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

BigBootyBoy:
So recently ive been pushing more and more to put weight on and im very nervous on how to come out to my loved one and family about it. grew up super fit and have been till recently so i have no clue how i would explain to them why im putting so much weight on as a known fit person. any tips?

Munchies:
What I wanna know is why do people wanna tell their family about their kinks?

Ngl, that's weird. Even if you were vanilla, your fam ain't wanna know what revs your engine.


In many instances it's not about what revs your engine but what to say when put on the spot if someone inevitably comments about your weight. Satisfying the curiosity of people (friends, family, coworkers) who notice the difference and changes after a significant gain. Fat is taboo, to actually WANT and purposely try and get fatter is just utterly incomprehensible to most people, kinks or fetishes aside. Our society treats fat as a disease and even someone attempting to "better" themselves at gym, or simply existing, especially shamelessly is glorifying obesity nowadays.

Personally I live with one foot firmly in the closet but subtly hint I don't mind being bigger and rarely admit I "enjoy being fat" to anyone. It's hard to be your true self when also trying to hide your preferences for anything outside the norm. Sometimes I do get a kick out of surprising people by popping a squat or doing fairly athletic things, they don't expect anyone nearly 300 pounds to be agile.
2 months

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

BigBootyBoy:
So recently ive been pushing more and more to put weight on and im very nervous on how to come out to my loved one and family about it. grew up super fit and have been till recently so i have no clue how i would explain to them why im putting so much weight on as a known fit person. any tips?

Munchies:
What I wanna know is why do people wanna tell their family about their kinks?

Ngl, that's weird. Even if you were vanilla, your fam ain't wanna know what revs your engine.

Lynne841:
In many instances it's not about what revs your engine but what to say when put on the spot if someone inevitably comments about your weight. Satisfying the curiosity of people (friends, family, coworkers) who notice the difference and changes after a significant gain. Fat is taboo, to actually WANT and purposely try and get fatter is just utterly incomprehensible to most people, kinks or fetishes aside. Our society treats fat as a disease and even someone attempting to "better" themselves at gym, or simply existing, especially shamelessly is glorifying obesity nowadays.

Personally I live with one foot firmly in the closet but subtly hint I don't mind being bigger and rarely admit I "enjoy being fat" to anyone. It's hard to be your true self when also trying to hide your preferences for anything outside the norm. Sometimes I do get a kick out of surprising people by popping a squat or doing fairly athletic things, they don't expect anyone nearly 300 pounds to be agile.


I'm not talking about that. I am talking about the unnerving number of usually young feedees that feel the need to tell their loved ones (often their parents) about their fetish.

I get the whole having a cover story thing. I'm an ex-gainer turned extreme feeder.
2 months

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

Just say "I realized I'm happier if I just eat what I want."

This is not a lie and should be a sufficient explanation. If they say something like "But you're getting fat!" just say you're okay with that.
2 months

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

My question is :
Why do you think you "owe" them an explanation?
Its really none of their business isn't it?
You wouldn't go around calling attention if one of them put on weight would you?

Seems these days people feel the need to "come out" about almost anything.
Are they searching for acceptance or something else?
I never understood that mind set I just did what I felt I needed to do for my reasons not someone else.
What I do is my business not friends or family.
If its a spouse then I can see it being a thing that needs to be talked about between the two.

I saw a lot of that when I worked part time at an LGBT center but never got a firm answer from any of the people.
2 months

Explaining why im putting weight on to my loved ones.

Ditzy:
My question is :
Why do you think you "owe" them an explanation?
Its really none of their business isn't it?
You wouldn't go around calling attention if one of them put on weight would you?

Seems these days people feel the need to "come out" about almost anything.
Are they searching for acceptance or something else?
I never understood that mind set I just did what I felt I needed to do for my reasons not someone else.
What I do is my business not friends or family.
If its a spouse then I can see it being a thing that needs to be talked about between the two.

I saw a lot of that when I worked part time at an LGBT center but never got a firm answer from any of the people.

That is actually a good point Ditzy.
2 months
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