General

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Stuffytummywriter:
oh hello, a thread where OP specifically asked cis men to take a step back and listen full of men deciding they needed to dissect and argue every single one of OPs word choices. who'd have thought

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Munchies:
The trans men tend to get it what with growing up as AFAB. Enbies tend to get it as well.

One thing that frustrates me is the whole "Boys will be boys" mindset. It absolves men of their agency to be better.

And they can be better. I've seen it. It makes the ones that choose not to be better look terrible.

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Munchies:
The trans men tend to get it what with growing up as AFAB. Enbies tend to get it as well.

One thing that frustrates me is the whole "Boys will be boys" mindset. It absolves men of their agency to be better.

And they can be better. I've seen it. It makes the ones that choose not to be better look terrible.

Enas:
Its not just the "boys will be boys" but the entier culture that just screams narcissism all the time. Even the women who themselves say "I want a bad boy" are helping perpertuate this

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Munchies:
The trans men tend to get it what with growing up as AFAB. Enbies tend to get it as well.

One thing that frustrates me is the whole "Boys will be boys" mindset. It absolves men of their agency to be better.

And they can be better. I've seen it. It makes the ones that choose not to be better look terrible.

Enas:
Its not just the "boys will be boys" but the entier culture that just screams narcissism all the time. Even the women who themselves say "I want a bad boy" are helping perpertuate this

Munchies:
sprays you with water

We are not doing this today.

Every time people like you go "Yeah, but women do this," all it does is shift the responsibility off of men and onto women to do better.

You are not helping. You are hurting. Knock it off.

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Munchies:
The trans men tend to get it what with growing up as AFAB. Enbies tend to get it as well.

One thing that frustrates me is the whole "Boys will be boys" mindset. It absolves men of their agency to be better.

And they can be better. I've seen it. It makes the ones that choose not to be better look terrible.

Enas:
Its not just the "boys will be boys" but the entier culture that just screams narcissism all the time. Even the women who themselves say "I want a bad boy" are helping perpertuate this

Munchies:
sprays you with water

We are not doing this today.

Every time people like you go "Yeah, but women do this," all it does is shift the responsibility off of men and onto women to do better.

You are not helping. You are hurting. Knock it off.

Enas:
I think you missed my point. Im acussing the entier culture here, and im bringing the example with those specific women, so as to justify how broad of an accusation i am making.

Im not playing some cheap game of shifting the blame, i have zero interest, i've actually studied how culture perpetuates and reproduces itself and those kind of phenomena.

Obviously its then men who are, encouraged even, to do harm.

Munchies:
Nope.

sprays you with water again

Still not listening. Still missing the point. Will it take a man for you to start paying attention?

This thread exists as a way to have a dialog about how women and trans people can feel safer in kink space.

Some cis men (including you) waltz in with "solutions" that do not address concerns and miss the point.
...

Munchies:
Nope.

sprays you with water again

Still not listening. Still missing the point. Will it take a man for you to start paying attention?

This thread exists as a way to have a dialog about how women and trans people can feel safer in kink space.

Some cis men (including you) waltz in with "solutions" that do not address concerns and miss the point.
...

Enas:
I didnt even attempt to provide a solution so far, i've only really pointed two things out.

You could say that i tried to define the problem clearly. That, ultimately, its about recognizing patterns of abusive behavior early (i think i said something like that). Do you think there is a problem there?

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Munchies:
The trans men tend to get it what with growing up as AFAB. Enbies tend to get it as well.

One thing that frustrates me is the whole "Boys will be boys" mindset. It absolves men of their agency to be better.

And they can be better. I've seen it. It makes the ones that choose not to be better look terrible.

Enas:
Its not just the "boys will be boys" but the entier culture that just screams narcissism all the time. Even the women who themselves say "I want a bad boy" are helping perpertuate this

ArcticVixen:
I think you are misinterpreting the expression. "Bad boy" is a Western (usually American) trope where a guy in a piece of media is rebellious and seems cool. Such as the characters in the musical Grease. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_boy_archetype

No woman wants to be in a abusive relationship.