OxfordBoy:
Ah yes, “pleasing” your partner while they eat is quite popular on here lol.
I like that your ex dwelt on the philosophy of fat & gaining: it can be such a huge, life-changing decision compared to indulging in other kinks where you turn them on or off. It does kind of need to be thought of differently and more seriously. How else are people going to become mentally comfortable with it? This community could probably use more people like her. I take it she avoids sites like this too, so how did she come to meet you and discover your own philosophy about fat?
Sorry the women are more closeted where you are now. I wonder if there is a higher than average number of female feeders in the police & military? If it’s a dominance thing it would make sense I guess. Do you meet ladies mainly on here these days, or do they have their own secret feedist communities too?
WideJuan76:
I met her while I was studying for my Masters degree and she actually approached me and that was in my chubby stages. I have always been told that I have a very handsome face no matter my weight so she told me that she wanted a teddy bear and she wanted to get my number. I had always thought about gaining but she showed the existential aspect of it.
I meet people all over the place. Some online and others offline. But mostly women tend to make the approach me more in the southern states which is why I always travel there.
OxfordBoy:
Glad to see the professors-coming-on-to-students thing hasn't been killed off just yet lol. She sounds like quite a woman. And she gained just as much as you during the relationship? Hope she didn't get any shit for that from the faculty.
We tend to put a big divide between a preference for a larger partner on the one hand, and being a feeder into gaining on the other. It seems to be very important to some people. Non-feedist fatty-lovers get called civilians lol.
When women approach you though, do you find this really applies? Or do most of them who like you big also like the idea of making you bigger? Just wondering if maybe these labels we have in the online community aren't as useful as we think?
WideJuan76:
She gained at a much slower pace than I did but she didn't give a damn what anyone had to say about it.
People don't realize that these labels are useless because the "fat gift" changes all the time for those of us who have this as part of what we like so I pay labels no mind.
Most women I meet offline could care less about these labels which is why most of this stuff online is just the same tribalism with its own lingo and if you don't know the colloquialism then you're not in the cool crowd but offline it is way more organic. That's why I don't use any of these terms because in real life we go back and forth between being fed and liking to feed.[/quote]
Ah I must have misread that she ended up as big/bigger than you somewhere by the time you guys broke up, and that you worried she wanted you even bigger than her? My apologies for mischaracterising your relationship!
‘The fat gift’ - that’s an interesting way of phrasing it. I can believe what you say, that out there in the ‘real world’, where these community labels are not known about, people with these desires interpret them differently. That without the labels as a framework, people can kind of move between roles that would be described on here as FA, feeder and feedee. Maybe shame still plays a role here - people perhaps find it easier to admit to themselves that they want a fat partner than to fatten a partner, or to fatten a partner than to be fattened themselves? You seem like you’ve arrived at a very chilled out place of self-acceptance now anyway - good for you.
I kind of feel that your take on the kink should be more prominently displayed somewhere on here? Maybe on your profile, or maybe as it’s own thread? It just seems so much more...human? More organic, like you say. Less tech-y. Makes the kink feel more like part of a continuum of human experience and culture, and not siloed off as it’s own thing. Something for the old as well as for the young & internet-savvy. Makes us seem, for lack of a better word, more normal? I think it would be good for more people on here to think about.
Ah yes, “pleasing” your partner while they eat is quite popular on here lol.
I like that your ex dwelt on the philosophy of fat & gaining: it can be such a huge, life-changing decision compared to indulging in other kinks where you turn them on or off. It does kind of need to be thought of differently and more seriously. How else are people going to become mentally comfortable with it? This community could probably use more people like her. I take it she avoids sites like this too, so how did she come to meet you and discover your own philosophy about fat?
Sorry the women are more closeted where you are now. I wonder if there is a higher than average number of female feeders in the police & military? If it’s a dominance thing it would make sense I guess. Do you meet ladies mainly on here these days, or do they have their own secret feedist communities too?
WideJuan76:
I met her while I was studying for my Masters degree and she actually approached me and that was in my chubby stages. I have always been told that I have a very handsome face no matter my weight so she told me that she wanted a teddy bear and she wanted to get my number. I had always thought about gaining but she showed the existential aspect of it.
I meet people all over the place. Some online and others offline. But mostly women tend to make the approach me more in the southern states which is why I always travel there.
OxfordBoy:
Glad to see the professors-coming-on-to-students thing hasn't been killed off just yet lol. She sounds like quite a woman. And she gained just as much as you during the relationship? Hope she didn't get any shit for that from the faculty.
We tend to put a big divide between a preference for a larger partner on the one hand, and being a feeder into gaining on the other. It seems to be very important to some people. Non-feedist fatty-lovers get called civilians lol.
When women approach you though, do you find this really applies? Or do most of them who like you big also like the idea of making you bigger? Just wondering if maybe these labels we have in the online community aren't as useful as we think?
WideJuan76:
She gained at a much slower pace than I did but she didn't give a damn what anyone had to say about it.
People don't realize that these labels are useless because the "fat gift" changes all the time for those of us who have this as part of what we like so I pay labels no mind.
Most women I meet offline could care less about these labels which is why most of this stuff online is just the same tribalism with its own lingo and if you don't know the colloquialism then you're not in the cool crowd but offline it is way more organic. That's why I don't use any of these terms because in real life we go back and forth between being fed and liking to feed.[/quote]
Ah I must have misread that she ended up as big/bigger than you somewhere by the time you guys broke up, and that you worried she wanted you even bigger than her? My apologies for mischaracterising your relationship!
‘The fat gift’ - that’s an interesting way of phrasing it. I can believe what you say, that out there in the ‘real world’, where these community labels are not known about, people with these desires interpret them differently. That without the labels as a framework, people can kind of move between roles that would be described on here as FA, feeder and feedee. Maybe shame still plays a role here - people perhaps find it easier to admit to themselves that they want a fat partner than to fatten a partner, or to fatten a partner than to be fattened themselves? You seem like you’ve arrived at a very chilled out place of self-acceptance now anyway - good for you.
I kind of feel that your take on the kink should be more prominently displayed somewhere on here? Maybe on your profile, or maybe as it’s own thread? It just seems so much more...human? More organic, like you say. Less tech-y. Makes the kink feel more like part of a continuum of human experience and culture, and not siloed off as it’s own thing. Something for the old as well as for the young & internet-savvy. Makes us seem, for lack of a better word, more normal? I think it would be good for more people on here to think about.
3 years
