General

Why are fa's so closeted?

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CurvyPiggy   United States
Joined 5 years
I honestly think it has a lot to do with maturity. I guy/girl that is comfortable and secure with themselves will like what they like and not give a crap what others think. When someone likes a fit or muscular body we don’t say they fetishize that body so really what’s the difference? It’s really just a preference.
3 years

Why are fa's so closeted?

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Allissa   United States
Joined 10 years
Patriarchy? Women as status symbols?

Or maybe just afraid of comments?
3 years

Why are fa's so closeted?

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Arame   United States
Joined 3 years
Because they’re afraid of getting laughed at.

But my thing is, if they crack on you, crack on them back. 🤷🏿‍♂️🤷🏿‍♂️🤷🏿‍♂️

Like if they got a problem with your fat significant other. Tell them:

“Yeah? Well I got a problem with yo girl being so skinny that kids from Africa send HER 80 cents a day 🤷🏿‍♂️“
3 years

Why are fa's so closeted?

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Psyman   United States
Joined 17 years
grizzly_hunter:
I've never wanted to make a guy feel uncomfortable by telling him his chubbiness is a turn on. I mean I have in the past but it didn't end well so I'm hesitant to try irl again

Safer to save that for online communities where I know it's kosher


I just want to say as a man who has been fat and shy since childhood that I waited for most of 20 years for an FA woman to tell me that she was interested and it just never happened. I came to believe that no woman would ever find me attractive. I never had a woman say she liked my fat belly until I found the online feederism community in my late 30’s!
I would say that many fat men are not used to being approached by women in general and may be suspicious of their intentions, but I certainly would have appreciated a woman taking the initiative!
3 years

Why are fa's so closeted?

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MickRidem   Canada
Joined 6 years
There needs to be some sort of symbol we can wear, or a quick sign language people can use to discreetly communicate our appreciation, without looking like predators. LOL! Something that shows we're all in the chub-fan-club. smiley
3 years

Why are fa's so closeted?

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WideJuan76   United States
Joined 13 years
In my anecdotal experience, it is primarily a location thing or a subcultural thing. When I first moved down South in the United States in 2005, I was around 270 and I would approach but when I fell for an older woman down there she showed me that there are traditions in places like North Carolina, South Carolina, Louisiana, Tennessee and Texas in which if the person you are dating isn't obese then that is a reflection on them for not being a good spouse so in two places specifically it was like a fifty plus year thing of making ones spouse fat. Hell, I got approached more in the South by women than I ever have in my life especially when I passed 350 because they saw that as not fat enough.
3 years

Why are fa's so closeted?

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Chubbynow   Canada
Joined 2 years
Seven8the9:
I'm a fat girl and over the years, the fact that less people have hit on me in public has taken a toll on my confidence. Now that I'm older , I know better (most of the time) that there ARE people out there that prefer bigger, fatter bodies.

Why are you all so quiet about it in real life?!

I mean, of course there are the societal norms and pressures... but could someone explain it to me simply, laymen terms?


Hi. For me, it's more about chubby girls not expecting to be hit on. I mean, sometimes you are open enough for the surprise to be welcome and fun, but a lot of times it's not an option and there's no room to get in there. I think thinner girls tend to be looking for it and creating openings? (incredibly frustrating)...
1 year

Why are fa's so closeted?

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Raboot The Admirer   Spain
Joined 1 year
2seatsalways:
Any FA or FFA that is closeted deserve 0% respect. If you are that concern what others think of you being with a bigger girl, f off.


I don't like this take. It's not that easy for everyone to just don't care about other people's opinion.
It can be hard for many to stop hiding their attraction to bodytypes so generally criticized. As long as the person is not hypocritically throwing comments about how fat people suck to mask their true feelings, I have empathy for a "closeted" FA.
1 year

Why are fa's so closeted?

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Munchies   United States
Joined 3 years
2seatsalways:
Any FA or FFA that is closeted deserve 0% respect. If you are that concern what others think of you being with a bigger girl, f off.

Raboot The Admirer:
I don't like this take. It's not that easy for everyone to just don't care about other people's opinion.
It can be hard for many to stop hiding their attraction to bodytypes so generally criticized. As long as the person is not hypocritically throwing comments about how fat people suck to mask their true feelings, I have empathy for a "closeted" FA.

2seatsalways:
This has plagued not just our community but also helped set a negative mind set for many people. I stand by this. "Empathy" should be for people who have a date lined up but plans get changed to staying in doors. Why? Because their date secretly doesn't want to be seen out with them!
Those people deserve empathy not closeted fas.


I agree. It's one thing not to be public about your fetishes. That's your own business. But if you are so small minded that you can't treat your partner with the respect they deserve, then you are trash and shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone.

Fat people are people that happen to be fat. If you are too ashamed, then you are the problem.
1 year

Why are fa's so closeted?

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Morbidly A Beast   United States
Joined 2 years
I don’t go out much so it’s not really my fault that I don’t encounter fa’s in the wild but I mean I don’t think it’s impossible I’ve encountered someone over the time I’ve been bigger I hope that when I do they approach me as I’m usually in my own element but you know it’s not on them
1 year
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