General

In my anecdotal experience, it is primarily a location thing or a subcultural thing. When I first moved down South in the United States in 2005, I was around 270 and I would approach but when I fell for an older woman down there she showed me that there are traditions in places like North Carolina, South Carolina, Louisiana, Tennessee and Texas in which if the person you are dating isn't obese then that is a reflection on them for not being a good spouse so in two places specifically it was like a fifty plus year thing of making ones spouse fat. Hell, I got approached more in the South by women than I ever have in my life especially when I passed 350 because they saw that as not fat enough.

I agree. It's one thing not to be public about your fetishes. That's your own business. But if you are so small minded that you can't treat your partner with the respect they deserve, then you are trash and shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone.

Fat people are people that happen to be fat. If you are too ashamed, then you are the problem.

I don’t go out much so it’s not really my fault that I don’t encounter fa’s in the wild but I mean I don’t think it’s impossible I’ve encountered someone over the time I’ve been bigger I hope that when I do they approach me as I’m usually in my own element but you know it’s not on them

I've had multiple relationships/datings end because I told the girl I was attracted to her fat body and I preferred bigger women. For most normal people (non fat fetishist), hearing "I like your fat" is like hearing "I like you because you have cancer". They believe something is wrong with them and perceive it as perverse and demented that someone else could get enjoyment from it.
Bottom line is, if you don't love yourself and your body first, it doesn't matter how much anyone else thinks it's amazing.
That being said, I think we should still be somewhat open about our preferences, especially if asked. Just know that finding someone out in the general population who is confidant about their fat body is rare. Finding someone who not only embraces it, but actively wants to get fatter or become a feedee is basically non-existent outside this small online community.
So maybe we should be as open with people as they are ready or willing to handle. It's probably an iterative process. First get people comfortable with their fat. Then, and not before, tell them you like it. And maybe finally, if ever, that you would actually love to see them grow even bigger.