General

Dear ladies of ff

Yes! Call em out! Yes, it's very uncomfortable to do so, but it's probably unbelievably frustrating for women who have to deal with crap on the daily, so think of it as the *least* you can do.
1 year

Dear ladies of ff

Calling them out isn't gonna do much. I'm trying to say that, okay call them out, and then try to actually explain to them why what they're doing is bad as well! Because it harms others! That last bit is the importand one! And im trying to do that! It's not even uncomfortable, but it's very hard to achieve!
But after you've done the first bit, it's a great chance to also try to educate them! Don't let that chance go to waste!
1 year

Dear ladies of ff

FAMGM:
Social structures foster sexism.

Munchies:
Social structures are neutral. They neither encourage nor discourage sexism. You have confused social structures with value systems.

FAMGM:
Eh, no. Social structures at every level across all Western societies foster sexism to varying degrees.

Munchies:
The term "social structure" is so broad that it encompasses everything - even groups actively working against sexism. That's all I'm getting at. While most people refer to social structures on the macro scale, the term also applies to the meso and micro scales. This would, inadvertently, include anti-sexism spaces as well.

The issue isn't social structures so much as it is a complex blend of social values and institutions. The act of having a social structure isn't inherently one thing or another. It is the values imbued within the social structure that makes it sexist.

FAMGM:
And that is entirely correct. I wasn’t saying that all social structures do. By “social structures foster sexism” I was making a deliberately terse point, because that was in essence all that I understood OP to be actually saying.

Our current one definitely does! Even previous ones have! And my point is that it won't go away unless we alter our socioeconomic system as drastically as the French did in their revolution, or the Bolseviks did in the soviet.
And we have to take into account aaaaaaaaaaaall these parameters (patriarchy, classes {workers, capitalists}, matket, enviroment catastrophe ) and build something that can effectively run without these! Many models exist! And some of them have been even tested! Anyways if in any case it does interest you, feel free to dm me to talk about! I'd love that!
1 year

Dear ladies of ff

Enas:
Calling them out isn't gonna do much. I'm trying to say that, okay call them out, and then try to actually explain to them why what they're doing is bad as well! Because it harms others! That last bit is the importand one! And im trying to do that! It's not even uncomfortable, but it's very hard to achieve!
But after you've done the first bit, it's a great chance to also try to educate them! Don't let that chance go to waste!


Calling my friends out comes with the fact said friend has just earned my disapproval...you wanna continue to disrespect women/minorities? You will lose me as a friend.

As for others, it's just simple social pressure: people can just feel the disapproval in the tone if nothing else. Others may start to agree with you...or at least ask you what that was all about.

Personally, I don't try to teach people stuff unless they ask (proving they might actually be receptive to a new idea).

It turns out trying to bring up facts & logic as a way to change someone's mind or behavior virtually never works. It all stems from the fact that most will never trust your words as credible over their own sources...and it doesn't matter how right you are either.

So in conclusion, the best you can really manage is to make it hurt...make the misbehaved feel that they might lose something if they continue.

Also, sorry for the self righteous tone, I'm still learning about writing like this. I hope this is still just a discussion, and really I just wanna save you alot of waisted effort if I can.
1 year

Dear ladies of ff

Not for nothing- considering some of the things OP has said in chat, this is likely a troll post.

That said, proud of what else has been said.
1 year

Dear ladies of ff

Enas:
Calling them out isn't gonna do much. I'm trying to say that, okay call them out, and then try to actually explain to them why what they're doing is bad as well! Because it harms others! That last bit is the importand one! And im trying to do that! It's not even uncomfortable, but it's very hard to achieve!
But after you've done the first bit, it's a great chance to also try to educate them! Don't let that chance go to waste!

AaronM:
Calling my friends out comes with the fact said friend has just earned my disapproval...you wanna continue to disrespect women/minorities? You will lose me as a friend.

As for others, it's just simple social pressure: people can just feel the disapproval in the tone if nothing else. Others may start to agree with you...or at least ask you what that was all about.

Personally, I don't try to teach people stuff unless they ask (proving they might actually be receptive to a new idea).

It turns out trying to bring up facts & logic as a way to change someone's mind or behavior virtually never works. It all stems from the fact that most will never trust your words as credible over their own sources...and it doesn't matter how right you are either.

So in conclusion, the best you can really manage is to make it hurt...make the misbehaved feel that they might lose something if they continue.

Also, sorry for the self righteous tone, I'm still learning about writing like this. I hope this is still just a discussion, and really I just wanna save you alot of waisted effort if I can.


Its okay! And im really glad you put the effort to write and share your thoughts with us!
And I get your point, it's a really really hard thing to get around that! However im thinking that if i were to only inflict pain, that's more likely than not, to push the other person into an even more extreme mindset, as a reactionary move to defend! Usually that's what happens! Also, what ethics justify inflicting pain to be better than trying to be honest and understanding?
Like, i know that's the good old and tested way of doing things but as i explained, it's not something that works often here in my judgment! And especially that, is something to be taken extra care of because we need everybody to be able to be a decent human being!
In short, trying to punish is the easy way of trying. It's not the effective one! And i get why that's what people do, they don't have much energy left to deal with it! And that's why I've made this thread. To start a conversation of, can we do better?

And you know what? Hell yeah we can! We haven't reached perfection to be unable to improve! And I've said it a couple times now. It whould be hard, for sure! But it's gonna be for the better!

Anyways i hope im also communicating my point clearly (i doubt that i do, by the looks of it)
What do you think?
1 year

Dear ladies of ff

DoctorHarleenQ:
Not for nothing- considering some of the things OP has said in chat, this is likely a troll post.

That said, proud of what else has been said.


Seriously, how do you come to the conclusion that I've put all the effort to write this post about this very serious issue, just to troll?
I'm not the type of person that likes to troll in the first place because i belive in honesty! That's what im trying to do!
And as i said Munchies, i belive i have trouble in communicating what i want. Writing down my thoughts in a way that people will understand what i have in mind!
Im litteraly asking you to explain to me, im hopes that i could find what i do wrong. Can you please help me?
1 year

Dear ladies of ff



Munchies:
You are focusing on too much at once, and it's making you directionless. You are also not keeping in mind who your audience is. This is a fetish site. People come here to escape and be horny. While there's always space to discuss treating people as equals, no one wants to discuss politics or economics. Even the numerous posts discussing gender issues will only discuss them in the context of the site and fetish.

So, if you want to have these deep, complex discussions, it would be best to do it on a better platform.


As munchies has said above FF isn't the platform for this sort of discussion. Unfortunately the thread also seems to have digressed in a back and forth with the OP about their behaviour on the site which is not conducive to the discussion.

Fantasy Feeder is a fetish site, but we’re also a community. We expect members to be respectful and considerate to others. We don’t all have the same views or opinions, but we can all be mindful when interacting with each other and make a positive effort to look out for each other.

If you feel someone is breaking rules, being abusive or harassing you or others, then please report this to us and we will issue warnings / bans as required.

We want members new and old to feel welcome and safe on the site. So although it is a cliché… Be the change you want to see, set good examples, discuss and educate users on what is and isn’t acceptable. Debate is always welcome – but don’t make things personal, report members who are breaking site rules. Let’s give each other the opportunity to do and be better!

c00kie
FF Team
1 year
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