General

Munchies:
Nope.

sprays you with water again

Still not listening. Still missing the point. Will it take a man for you to start paying attention?

This thread exists as a way to have a dialog about how women and trans people can feel safer in kink space.

Some cis men (including you) waltz in with "solutions" that do not address concerns and miss the point.
...

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Munchies:
The trans men tend to get it what with growing up as AFAB. Enbies tend to get it as well.

One thing that frustrates me is the whole "Boys will be boys" mindset. It absolves men of their agency to be better.

And they can be better. I've seen it. It makes the ones that choose not to be better look terrible.

Enas:
Its not just the "boys will be boys" but the entier culture that just screams narcissism all the time. Even the women who themselves say "I want a bad boy" are helping perpertuate this

Munchies:
Nope.

sprays you with water again

Still not listening. Still missing the point. Will it take a man for you to start paying attention?

This thread exists as a way to have a dialog about how women and trans people can feel safer in kink space.

Some cis men (including you) waltz in with "solutions" that do not address concerns and miss the point.
...

Enas:
I didnt even attempt to provide a solution so far, i've only really pointed two things out.

You could say that i tried to define the problem clearly. That, ultimately, its about recognizing patterns of abusive behavior early (i think i said something like that). Do you think there is a problem there?

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Munchies:
The trans men tend to get it what with growing up as AFAB. Enbies tend to get it as well.

One thing that frustrates me is the whole "Boys will be boys" mindset. It absolves men of their agency to be better.

And they can be better. I've seen it. It makes the ones that choose not to be better look terrible.

Enas:
Its not just the "boys will be boys" but the entier culture that just screams narcissism all the time. Even the women who themselves say "I want a bad boy" are helping perpertuate this

ArcticVixen:
I think you are misinterpreting the expression. "Bad boy" is a Western (usually American) trope where a guy in a piece of media is rebellious and seems cool. Such as the characters in the musical Grease. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_boy_archetype

No woman wants to be in a abusive relationship.

Munchies:
Yes. You are putting the blame of men's poor behavior onto women. Now knock it off. The more you keep protesting, the dumber and more malicious you look. Do us both a favor and stop it.

Stuffytummywriter:
still, props for trying! it's important!

The way to go i feel, if you have the energy to try again, is a discord server or some such with the ability to moderate who joins and/or who stays.

Men, much like small children, have not yet learned to self-regulate, so they need strict and impermeable barriers. Some will eventually learn and won't need the barriers anymore. They'll realise they can play with the 1000000 other toys available to them instead of throwing a tantrum over the one that they can't have right now. Or make their own toy just for themselves if they are jealous, instead of destroying the one someone else made.

Really really tired of men not respecting my boundaries and then acting offended when i say sth

Munchies:
The trans men tend to get it what with growing up as AFAB. Enbies tend to get it as well.

One thing that frustrates me is the whole "Boys will be boys" mindset. It absolves men of their agency to be better.

And they can be better. I've seen it. It makes the ones that choose not to be better look terrible.

Enas:
Its not just the "boys will be boys" but the entier culture that just screams narcissism all the time. Even the women who themselves say "I want a bad boy" are helping perpertuate this

ArcticVixen:
I think you are misinterpreting the expression. "Bad boy" is a Western (usually American) trope where a guy in a piece of media is rebellious and seems cool. Such as the characters in the musical Grease. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_boy_archetype

No woman wants to be in a abusive relationship.

Enas:
There is no problem in clasifying even the Nazis as "bad boys", based on what the archetype entails. The two are not contradictory in any way. They posed as rebelious (note the word posed) and, at least in their time, many people considered them as very cool.

And i dont think there is someone who wants to be in an abusive relationship, but it might be the case that people dont always recognize abusive behavior as such, at least not until its too late and they are already trapped.

Morbidly A Beast:
I could not imagine being a woman on the internet, where every interaction could be an attempt for some creep to get with her. it’s 100% men’s fault. I’m not even like some anti-male kind of person, men online are kinda savage animals, whether it’s kink spaces, gaming or just normie social media.

Theres something extremely beastial when it’s pure sexual gratification, it’s kinda like how people are more freely willing to say abhorrent things to people just because they are anon.

I get it I’m a man who commented on this post but the topic is interesting, and I’ve had interactions I didn’t want to engage in.

ArcticVixen:
Unfortunately, you have guys like that who mask themselves as "nice" to lure in victims. I've been groomed by a man in his forties who was those macho types and acted nice at first.

Even when you sent me your horny messages in a DM on my old account I thought beforehand you wanted to have a casual conversation instead of that. It's sometimes hard to recognize red flags when predators hide them very well.