Extreme obesity

Well at least he had you with him at the end. Dying alone would be worse, especially after a relationship based on such extreme intimacy (with you effectively combining the roles of lover and mother). I can't imagine how you must have felt - genuinely kind of confused. Overwhelming sadness and grief I suppose - though perhaps it was complicated by other, lesser feelings? Guilt, or relief or satisfaction even? Have you decided how you feel about it now you've had some time alone? It's such an unusual emotional situation I just don't know what to think. I hope this doesn't seem insensitive.

How would you feel if you could see that this was going to happen again - as I presume it will do if you seek another man (or woman)?

It will happen again. I have feedees eagerly wanting to get with me and become immobile blobs of bed bound fat. That’s fine if they want that, they will get it. I know how to take care of men and women who can’t move at all. Someone asked me if I love these men or women who choose to destroy themselves? Honestly, no. It’s a job to me. I enjoy it certainly, but it’s a job. If that upsets some, I don’t care.

If you want it, do it. Life is too short for regrets.

As long as it's what they really, REALLY want I can't see how anyone can say that what you're doing is morally wrong. People have the right to live their lives however they wish as long as they don't infringe on the rights of others. Like you said, life is too short not to live it the way you want, no matter how strange or disturbing other people may find it.

When you find your next feedee (well when you decide who it will be out of however many people are asking you) do they basically hand over their finances to you so you can get everything they need? Do they formally hire you in any way? With your last guy it kind of sounded like you were casually dating at the start, getting coffee together etc. Rather than it just being a job from the start. Have I got that right? And of course you did like to have sex with him too, so it was a job with benefits at least lol. Was it a similar dynamic with the men/women who came before him?

Also presumably the medicaid nurses you hired to help care for him must have assumed you were in some sort of relationship with your feedee? I mean you lived together and you said they had to assist you when you had sex with him (I presume you meant hold some of his flab back so you could access his penis)?

While I understand that it is a job for you, it does also seem like it is a major part of your emotional life too, what you deeply need and desire Wouldn't you be sad if you never got to feed someone, bathe them, diaper them, be needed that much by them, ever again?

PS Would you prefer I message you all these interminable questions privately in future?

Where I work for a day job, I care for people everyday. Bathing, feeding, diapering is common place. At work I have to follow dining plans to keep my job.

I carefully screen those who ask me to be my next live in feedee. Yes, past feedees turned over finances to allow me to care for them properly. That’s why my spare bedroom has a built in Hoyer lift I see no reason to remove.

It’s always my feedees choice. If they put the plate down and walked away, I would let them. So far none have done that and their bedroom is always unlocked

I understand that you do some of those things at work, and that presumably you like caring for your patients. Maybe you get off slightly on the power dynamic and feeling needed by them too? Perhaps that's even why you became a nursing assistant in the first place?
I really don't know.

But I do know that you're a feeder - the most extreme feeder I've ever come across. You have this kink BAD. And surely it's not the same feeling at your day job as when you're caring for your feedee, privately? Looking after an immobile live-in feedee is a huge commitment on your part, and must take a great deal of effort (especially straight after working your day shift). You do it because you love it - I'm guessing nothing gets you off like it. Isn't their ever-increasing neediness part of that for you, something you encourage? Bottle-feeding them like a giant baby, diapering them to encourage them not to leave their bed before full immobility even sets in? I get that it's not romantic for you, but surely it is a deep personal desire?

Seeing a feedee live out their deepest desires, the desires some can not admit to themselves, is a thrill. Seeing a feedee completely dependent on me and needing me in every way is a turn on much greater then sex. But that’s just me

Thanks, that's what I wanted to know - how it makes you FEEL.

No judgement. Not that you care what others think anyway

You keep doing whatever you need to do to fully satisfy yourself and feel fulfilled in you life. Safe in the knowledge that you're also helping someone else achieve the exact same level of pure (if unusual and extreme) happiness. Good luck with your next relationship (or whatever you call it).

"It just amazes me that people are begging me to change their life forever. I wish I knew why men wanted this so bad and to a extreme that can never be undone"

I've been thinking about this a lot, about just how such an extreme, unreasonable and even fatal desire can exist, one which is so far outside what most people would ever want irl even within this community. I'll email you as I don't think some of it belongs on a site like this.

There is no weight limit for diapers. There is an approximate waist size limit. Anything over a waist size of 100 inches, it’s easier to go to bed pads. Most of the time when that large, the feedee will be bed bound anyways. By then, you will need a Hoyer lift to move them.