I've been waiting for this thread to die, and not because the OP is no longer here. This kind of topic, or a close variation, does comes up from time to time, and it's the same, tired old saw, every time. I also have no doubt there are some readers who have so far not said anything, but might be thinking it.
It's nearly always the personality and vibe that's off-putting, damn near every single time. Did you come on far too heavy (pun not intended) or strong? Do you ever talk about anything besides feederism/fat chat/how much you gained/lost/etc.? Maybe you're not coming off as all that interesting, or you reek of desperate anger and your attitude sucks.
Speaking of attitudes that suck, to really help to drive this point home, let's flip the script and reverse places. Imagine some woman out there, who says things like "no one is into fat chicks" or "all men are scum/bad/no good/whatever." It's even very possible you might look at her and think "she's kind of cute and easy on the eyes." But know what else you're going to think? "What a rotten attitude! She's a hot mess that I don't want to have anything to do with!"
It gets even worse if you start talking to people who agree, and before you know it, you've formed your own "He-man Women Hater's" club or a "Feminazi All Men Are Trash" club, and now you're trapped into this deafeningly loud echo chamber of negative reinforcement.
This doesn't apply to just forming relationships either, romantic or not. Imagine if someone was selling a car. If the car salesmen starts off the sales pitch by groveling at your feet, saying things like "I've been trying to sell this car for 9 months and I knocked 75% off the sale price!," does that make you want to buy the car more, or less? Pretty sure most folks are going to be turned off and wonder what's so seriously wrong with the car for a few seconds, until then trying to get away from the salesman as fast as possible. But then on occasion, you might get a customer who will pick up on the desperation, then exploit it to negotiate the price even lower.
Similarly, this desperate anger would actually leave you vulnerable to someone very bad who might find some way to exploit you.
Another thing to remember - you won't be everyone's type, but that's okay. Lot of other people out there aren't your type either. Preferred age range alone probably eliminates 90% of the population from consideration.
Yet another thing to consider is this. I do concede there's a serious problem with some users, usually male, flooding female users with silly messages that consist of little more than "how fat do you want to get?" or "show boobs." I wish they'd stop doing that, but that's a bit much to hope for.
Maybe actually be interesting and remember you're talking to an actual person. Suppose you actually did get into a relationship? It's not gonna be about the kink at least 95%+ of the time. Also, gaining has to stop at some point.. you probably don't want the relationship to stop. So what's going to hold it together?
Finally, if anything, the experience I've had is that I actually get more attention from the ladies after weight gain, not less.
It's nearly always the personality and vibe that's off-putting, damn near every single time. Did you come on far too heavy (pun not intended) or strong? Do you ever talk about anything besides feederism/fat chat/how much you gained/lost/etc.? Maybe you're not coming off as all that interesting, or you reek of desperate anger and your attitude sucks.
Speaking of attitudes that suck, to really help to drive this point home, let's flip the script and reverse places. Imagine some woman out there, who says things like "no one is into fat chicks" or "all men are scum/bad/no good/whatever." It's even very possible you might look at her and think "she's kind of cute and easy on the eyes." But know what else you're going to think? "What a rotten attitude! She's a hot mess that I don't want to have anything to do with!"
It gets even worse if you start talking to people who agree, and before you know it, you've formed your own "He-man Women Hater's" club or a "Feminazi All Men Are Trash" club, and now you're trapped into this deafeningly loud echo chamber of negative reinforcement.
This doesn't apply to just forming relationships either, romantic or not. Imagine if someone was selling a car. If the car salesmen starts off the sales pitch by groveling at your feet, saying things like "I've been trying to sell this car for 9 months and I knocked 75% off the sale price!," does that make you want to buy the car more, or less? Pretty sure most folks are going to be turned off and wonder what's so seriously wrong with the car for a few seconds, until then trying to get away from the salesman as fast as possible. But then on occasion, you might get a customer who will pick up on the desperation, then exploit it to negotiate the price even lower.
Similarly, this desperate anger would actually leave you vulnerable to someone very bad who might find some way to exploit you.
Another thing to remember - you won't be everyone's type, but that's okay. Lot of other people out there aren't your type either. Preferred age range alone probably eliminates 90% of the population from consideration.
Yet another thing to consider is this. I do concede there's a serious problem with some users, usually male, flooding female users with silly messages that consist of little more than "how fat do you want to get?" or "show boobs." I wish they'd stop doing that, but that's a bit much to hope for.
Maybe actually be interesting and remember you're talking to an actual person. Suppose you actually did get into a relationship? It's not gonna be about the kink at least 95%+ of the time. Also, gaining has to stop at some point.. you probably don't want the relationship to stop. So what's going to hold it together?
Finally, if anything, the experience I've had is that I actually get more attention from the ladies after weight gain, not less.
2 weeks
